What would you do?

[Calamity Jane]

While I was in Chicago, 'something' happened to my 5 year old's cat. No one seems to know what that something is, but the vet came out last night to check him out, and took some xrays. He just called. The kitty's leg is broken in 3 places, and he needs surgery to put it back together.

My husband said last night that he's not willing to pay more than $300 to get the cat put bacl together, and the vet tells me it's going to be at least $500.

Would you go along with your husband, or make arrangements with the vet, and worry about the money later?

The cat is only 1 1/2, perfectly healthy, well behaved, perfect in every respect, except that he's going to cost us a chunk of cash.

I already told the vet that I'd bring Spot in on Thurs for the surgery. I don't know whether to tell my husband how much it's going to cost, or just to go with it and deal with it when the time comes.

 

[LordMagicMan]

Being a cat lover. I would just work overtime to pay it off.



I'm sorry to hear that its hurt

I hope it gets fixed!

 

[ExLimey]

I'm not really in favor of lying to spouses but I say tell hubby it cost $300 and then make arrangements with the vet for the other $200 (cash payments are pretty untraceable!).

That's not just a cat, it's more than likely someone your child loves very much and you can't put a price on that. Those are the responsibilities you inherit when you adopt a pet.

Hope kitty is okay.

 

[Jim_Henson]

I wouldnt do what you are doing.

 

[erosman]

At the risk of catching hell, I vote to not let the vet fix the cat's leg.

Here are my lame reasons:

I don't spend money I don't have on pets. Call it survival of the fittest, or that I am Scrooge, but sometimes life takes turns that none of us can afford.

The cat's leg might heal just fine without the aid of veterinary medicine. OK, it might not be as good as new, but hell, none of us are. We all acquire our fair share of bumps and lumps.

There is a difference in the value of human life and animal life - all is not relative.

 

[Calamity Jane]

But darlin, I didn't ask what you wouldn't do.

Erosman...

It's not that the money isn't available. It's that he doesn't want to spend it on the cat. If it was his dog, or his horse, it would be another story entirely.

I see the point about bumps, etc. However, the breaks (3 of them) are in his hip joint, and there is muscle and tendon damage. He's not going to heal without surgery. At least, not without chronic pain.

 

[thorsteinveblen]

two thoughts come to mind ...

the first is if the choice is to go ahead with the surgery or put the cat to sleep the hardship of the cost is what matters ... $500 to prolong the animals life and bring joy to your child is not a large amount if it doesn't default the rent, get the car repossessed, cancel the insurance or whatever evil lurks just around the corner from us all

the second is what you tell your spouse ... much harder to advise especially not knowing the answer to the first thought! but if the hardship is slight and the spousal response illogical/emotional/whatever ... well ... there are some things in life we are better off just not knowing about

peace

 

[Jim_Henson]

If it was one of the horses legs, 500 may be feasable, but he's right. Even when its healed its not going to be pretty and its going to be a fair while before the bugger can really act near normal again. I'm guessing you dont like the real other option though so...

I ask a question... do you think the girls are old enough to look out for a kitten?

 

[freakygirl]

oh.. hard one.

I wouldn't have this problem.. because Mr Freaky is the biggest animal lover in our house. He wouldn't say a word about spending the money.

I don't know what I would do if I was in your spot. More than likely.. knowing me. I'd take the cat in.. but I wouldn't lie to your husband. Just tell him you took him in and if has a problem with it.. to late. It's done. You can't go back and have the surgery removed.

 

[LordMagicMan]

To be humaine you need to get it fix or put it down. theres no reason it should have to live with chronic pain.

 

[lilminx]

When you decide to have a pet, you have a responsibility to that animal. Pay the $500 and have your cat's leg fixed. It's not fair to the cat if you just let the leg heal on its own and the cat is crippled because of it.

 

[ExLimey]

Knowing if it were hubby's dog or horse it would be okay no matter the cost I think you should get the cat the surgery.

If that's still not an option you need to find someone to give the cat to who doesn't mind paying. Putting the cat down is way too unfair. I've heard a rumor Laurel has a thing for kitties, but it's not been confirmed yet!

 

[erosman]

OK, you ask what I would do? I wouldn't spend the money. 3 breaks in the hip area is bad, but I have seen dogs and cats recover from similar injuries. Money can relieve some pain, but not all. The surgery doesn't come with a gaurantee of no pain. Hell, the surgery doesn't come with a gaurantee at all!...except for the $500 vet bill. Sometimes our choices get narrow in life, and we just have to carry the scars. Besides, how many pets have you lost over the years, pcg? All pets...all life is/are terminal. You can 'invest' $500 in the surgery and the cat could get stepped on by the horse next week. I'd either nurse the cat, or euthanize it, and then get another one. I know it sounds cold, but this is from one who has had to put down my share of animals. It never feels good while doing it, but then life doesn't always feel good.

Sorry for your dilemma.

 

[Artemesia]

Work it out with the vet - they understand.

Kitty deserves the best.

 

[Calamity Jane]

If it was one of the horses legs, 500 may be feasable, but he's right. Even when its healed its not going to be pretty and its going to be a fair while before the bugger can really act near normal again. I'm guessing you dont like the real other option though so...

I ask a question... do you think the girls are old enough to look out for a kitten?

Nope, I don't like the other option at all. I'm a big ol softie. I just can't justify having a perfectly healthy, loved cat put down because my husband doesn't want to part with some cash. We've spent far more to have horses' faces stitched, stomachs pumped, dogs stapled back together, etc. For some reason, he's decided the cat just isn't worth spending the money on.

lilminx, i'm not debating not having the cat's leg worked on. I'm trying to decide whether to tell my husband ahead of time that it's going to cost $200 more than he's willing to pay.

 

[lilminx]

lilminx, i'm not debating not having the cat's leg worked on. I'm trying to decide whether to tell my husband ahead of time that it's going to cost $200 more than he's willing to pay.

Sorry- I misunderstood. Part of my post was a response to Erosman as well.

I would get it done and then tell my husband afterwards. I don't feel it's right that he would have no objection to the cost if it was a dog or a horse, but because it's a cat he's against it.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Besides, how many pets have you lost over the years, pcg? All pets...all life is/are terminal. You can 'invest' $500 in the surgery and the cat could get stepped on by the horse next week. I'd either nurse the cat, or euthanize it, and then get another one. I know it sounds cold, but this is from one who has had to put down my share of animals. It never feels good while doing it, but then life doesn't always feel good.

Sorry for your dilemma.

I've lost more than my fair share of pets, and I've had to put down some good ones over the years. Not treating the cat because it's going to die sometime anyway seems kind of heartless though. He deserves quality of life. The other difficulty is, how do you explain to a 5 year old that you killed her cat because you just didn't feel like spending the money on it?

 

[Texan]

I'd pay the vet to take the cat out of his pain... permanently.

Then I'd take some of the money saved and buy a new kitten.


If you didn't want to know the answer, don't ask the qestion.

 

[roxie]

While I can certainly see where erosman is coming from, having lost numerous pets over the years. No animal should suffer. I still have a problem with just letting it go. Yes, we all heal, and yes we'll all have our scars through out the years. But as a pet owner you have a responsibility to that animal as soon as you aquire it to give it the best possible life that you can. I have always looked at my pets as part of the family. And as such, I have given them any care that I would give a human regardless of the cost. Money is just that. A piece of paper that can be replaced. A friend cannot be.
Personally, I'd tell your hubby. But don't back down. This is your child's pet and a good cat, it's worth the investment when it brings a smile to your childs face and for him to know you did all that you could.

 

[freakygirl]

3 years ago.. I paid $500 for a puppy. In one weeks time she became violently ill. (ofcourse it happened on a Saturday while I was visiting friends out of town). I called the doggy emergancy hospital in the city I was staying in. Took her in and she was so dehydrated they started two IV's to pump fluids into her.

She stayed in the hospital for 3 days. It was found out that she had parvo. I had bought her that way, not knowing it.

Anyway.. They talked to me about the cost. They said I had the choice. If I couldn't pay for the work in full. I could 1. make payments or 2. sign her over to them and they would sell her to another person. (pure bred Golden Retreiver). 3. choose to have her put down.

I debated on whether or not to spend the $1000 on her. Was she worth it? A dog.. costing me more than my first car and the birth of my first child. How could I justify spending that kind of money on an animal?

How could I not spend the money? She was loved by me, Mr Freaky, our kids and my mom.

Needless to say.. I paid it (in payments).. and now 2 1/2 years later I don't regret it.


PCG.. do what feels right in your heart. I'm pretty sure your husband will be upset about it. But he will get over it. Or he will stay pissed along time. Atleast it's him that will be mad and not you and your children.

 

[Cheyenne]

It's not that the money isn't available. It's that he doesn't want to spend it on the cat. If it was his dog, or his horse, it would be another story entirely.

That answers it for me right there. Help the cat, spend the money. Your husband's choices carry no more weight than your own in your marriage, do they?

 

[peachykeen]

Tough call. In my house, it wouldn't be in question - my husband is a bigger sucker than I am when it comes to animals (if he hadn't become an architect, he would have become a vet). I would say if after durgery the cat will not suffer any long term effects, it might be worth the money, so long as (as someone else already said) it doesn't mean you'll get evicted, etc. Also you may wnt to contact your local humane society - there are on occasion benefactors who will leave money to them as a bequest to aid animals and their families in just such situations (well-to-do elderly cat-lady widows w/no kids, usually).

Work out a payment plan with your vet. Your husband doesn't need to know... yet...I am not advocating loads of secrecy in a marriage, but you can tell him a couple years down the road.

 

[Texan]

That answers it for me right there. Help the cat, spend the money. Your husband's choices carry no more weight than your own in your marriage, do they?

BUT, Chey... her husband's choices should carry every bit as much weight as PG's.

To all of you that have advised PG to do it and not tell her husband, I believe you are giving TERRIBLE advise. Anyone who advises a PERSON to let an ANIMAL come between two PEOPLE, is WRONG, IMHO.

 

[weed]

Are there any other options....hip splint or brace?

Are there other vets you know in the area you might be able to get a second opinion from? The xray should be yours to show another vet if you want....you paid for it.

If it's something you feel strongly about, do it, then tell hubby how much it meant to you (especially if he's the type to get over it).

 

[Cheyenne]

BUT, Chey... her husband's choices should carry every bit as much weight as PG's.

To all of you that have advised PG to do it and not tell her husband, I believe you are giving TERRIBLE advise. Anyone who advises a PERSON to let an ANIMAL come between two PEOPLE, is WRONG, IMHO.

Oh, I didn't say not to tell him. I'd tell him exactly what she wrote as the reason for spending the moneyanyway. If he can chose to spend what he wants to on dogs and horses, she can do the same thing on the cat.

The thing that would come between them isn't the cat, it would be the resentment for having to hurt the children in losing a pet that wasn't necessary, but done because the hubby considered their feelings to be worth less than $200 (the difference between $500 and $300 approved amount.)