What would you do? (trying to jumpstart my muse)

[FallingToFly]

This is semi-serious, but please, feel free to get as wacky as you want on it. I'm toying with a few things- so humor me. And folks, the dirtier, the better.

It's Christmas Eve and you're sneaking into the house after doing something you shouldn't have been doing. (This we're leaving open-ended, but feel free to make suggestions as to what you shouldn't have been doing.)

There's a rustle of velvet and stamp of boots, and you look up to see Santa standing in front of the fireplace- and he doesn't look happy.

What would you do?

 

[3113]

There's a rustle of velvet and stamp of boots, and you look up to see Santa standing in front of the fireplace- and he doesn't look happy.

What would you do?

LOL. This is a great scenario. Well, the answer to that is: am I a girl or a guy? And if I'm a guy...is Santa gay? If I'm a girl or I'm a guy and Santa's gay, then I'd likely say, "I can explain this! It isn't what you think! Rudolf and I were just having a few drinks, you know how unhappy he gets when he loses those reindeer games...Anyway, I didn't think he shouldn't fly home under the influence, so I walked him back to the stables and...well, things got a little out of hand..."

All this while furiously brushing straw and reindeer fur from my clothes.

Something like that

 

[harv069]

Trying to jump start some responses...

I’m 21. My girlfriend is 18. My parents are upstairs asleep, because it’s 2:30 in the morning on Christmas day. I’m three sheets to the wind after boozing it up at a frat party. I had dropped my g/f off at her apartment just off the college campus. I had been invited in for a nightcap, but it turned into a flying fuck. I hadn’t even undressed. I just opened my fly, lifted her skirt and plunged in. Her juices were evident on the trousers I was wearing, and I was so out of it I hadn’t even put myself away. So I stumbled in, heard the rustle of velvet and the stomping of feet in the den.

When I got to the den, there was Santa, and he didn’t look happy. My god, I thought, “Santa is REAL? I always thought he was a myth since I was an eight year old kid.. But there he was and he was mad as hell. What am I to do? I’m supposed to get that new Lexus this year for Christmas. My parents had promised.

I had to think quickly. I’ve always been able to do that. I stumbled over to the man in red, and as soberly as I was able, said, “Hi, Santa. I’m just getting home from a party, and my girlfriend and I just did a quicky at her apartment. She’s prob’ly still up. You want some action with her? I can get you in.”

Santa’s anger turn into a wry grin. He answered, “I know who your girlfriend is. She’s a hottie. I didn’t beat you here by much. I just came in from parking a new Lexus in your backyard. Had a hell of a time getting it back there. That’s why I wasn’t too happy when you walked in. Now, get your sorry ass up on the roof and hop in the sleigh. We’re on our way to your girlfriend’s apartment next. Are you sure you can get her to give me a ride? She doesn’t think I’m real, either. And put your damn thing back in your pants. You look like a drunken college student.”

 

[FallingToFly]

LOL. This is a great scenario. Well, the answer to that is: am I a girl or a guy? And if I'm a guy...is Santa gay? If I'm a girl or I'm a guy and Santa's gay, then I'd likely say, "I can explain this! It isn't what you think! Rudolf and I were just having a few drinks, you know how unhappy he gets when he loses those reindeer games...Anyway, I didn't think he shouldn't fly home under the influence, so I walked him back to the stables and...well, things got a little out of hand..."

All this while furiously brushing straw and reindeer fur from my clothes.

Something like that

*dying laughing*

That is a perfect idea.

*will blame 3113 when it comes to fruition*