What would you do if...........

[Guest]

An ex told you that they loved you...
you dated this person almost ten years ago...
but you've been talking for the last year over the net (flirting and such)and all of a sudden they tell you this and say that the reason they haven't told you before is because they thought they would scare you away.

Would you believe him/her? and what would you do or tell them?

 

[Blackbich]

It depends on your feelings for this person. Do you love them as well? Are you past that point and you just want this person as a friend?

Depending on the above, I think you approach it with either an "I'm flattered and I love you too" talk or an "I'm flattered but I only love you as a friend" talk.

It depends on the circumstances. There's not one ex I'd even consider taking back, so this would be an easy one for me.

Good luck.

 

[Kuddles]

Blackbich took the words right out of my mouth!

It all depends on how you feel...if you have feelings for him also then you can tell him so and you want to take it slowly. But, if you have no interest in him other than friendship then you need to let him know that in a nice way. Good luck!

 

[Xander]

Nothing to add here, except that if the person that is loving, or is saying he/she is loving you. well at least they get an answer. I mean, okay the 'Iloveyou, but only as a friend" can be somewhat hurtful to get thrown in your face if you yourself is really feeling love for this person.

But at least, with you ladies, and hopefully with all ladies or guys out there. There will be answer.

Everybody knows how tough it is, not knowing anything.

 

[Guest]

We had a small talk.... and I don't think anything really came out of it. I don't really know how I feel about him... this is all very confusing. This was the first guy I ever dated, loved and the guy I lost my virginity too...

and somewhere in the back of my head I keep hearing this little voice that says 'He only wants one more fuck'
but then I wonder why he would say anything like what he did if all he wanted was sex....

I have moved past all of the things that happened while we were seeing each other and the things immediately following... but I don't know if I can seriously give him the answer that he is looking for...

I told him the truth.. that I have no idea how I feel... but that wasn't enough.... I can't tell him how I feel if I don't know myself how I feel.....

damn why does everything have to be so complicated??

 

[Xander]

Jaded...No one said it was easy. unfortunately it's NEVER easy.
Sad but true.

 

[CoolCucumber]

If things were easy, life would suck. We need the complications to make it interesting. But seriously, if that much time has passed, and with me qualifying that I don't know the circumstances, maybe he realizes things aren't the way he'd envisioned for himself, and when he looks around, the one thing that was right, was you.
-CoolCucumber

 

[Svedish_Chef]

An ex told you that they loved you...
you dated this person almost ten years ago...
but you've been talking for the last year over the net (flirting and such)and all of a sudden they tell you this and say that the reason they haven't told you before is because they thought they would scare you away.

Would you believe him/her? and what would you do or tell them?

My ex and I still love eachother... and we know where we stand... Apart.

 

[Mystical Michael]

10 years is a long time... and if neither of you has changed, perhaps it would be good. But wouldn't it be terribly sad if neither of you has changed?

People can change together, or they can change apart. When it's a case of the latter, chances are that they have moved in different directions. When it's the former, chances are it's love.