What went wrong?

[wehstar]

Hello

I submitted my first story recently. Posted it under Fetish category but didn't know whether to put it in exhibitionist or loving wives or somewhere else.

It was actually written by request, for someone who posted on story ideas forum.

I ran it by a couple of editors, but now posted, I would be interested in getting any feedback to improve how I write. I started a second one, quite different, and hope to get better.

Any thoughts, anyone...

 

[Normal_Person]

It's pretty good...