What to do?

[Smoothie1]

Hi all--new here. I have been bi-curious all my life. When I was a boy my neighbor and I had numerous jack-off sessions. First me doing him, since he was older. Then, when I came into puberty, he doing me. They are great memories. For years I thought it was just because kids explore when they are young. Now, looking back...I wish we had taken it further. I would loved to have sucked his cock.

When I was 17 I joined the military. I had the hots for my roommate, and one time we went to a friend's wedding and stayed in a hotel, sleeping in the same bed. Seeing him in his underwear kept me hard and awake all night. One or two more beers and I would have made the move on him.

I've been married three times, the last one seems to work pretty well. We love each other a lot, but sex is infrequent and pretty straight-laced when it happens. More and more I am thinking of exploring my bi-sexual side. This desire has increased the past few years; I am 50 now.

I work some odd hours, so I am often home alone. I spend many hours a week on-line masturbating to gay stuff (involving smooth young men), TG's, and bisexual content. The TG stuff really gets me going.
The jack-off sessions help to relieve the urge to explore this side of me, but not totally. And, less and less as time goes on.

My favorite fantasy is this: I hook up with a feminine looking young man or TG. I take her out on a date, she/he is dressed to kill in a slinky dress. We go to a club for drinks and dancing. While dancing I can't keep my hands off of him. Finally we can't take it any more, leave and go to a hotel room where I slide his skirt up, suck his cock and have him cum in my mouth. He then jacks me off while I suck his cock again. Sometimes I turn him around and fuck his ass, sometimes he lays me on my back and does me in the ass while jacking me off. These visuals really turn me on. My cock is so hard writing this I will have to jack-off soon.

Basically I want to get together with another guy or a TG and suck his/her cock, exchange masturbation favors, and possibly go further. What I am afraid of is putting my marriage at risk. She would never tolerate or understand this part of me. Yet I feel if I never explore it a part of me will never be allowed to be released.

What to do?

 

[Seduce]

You say your wife "would never understand".
Are you completely sure? Open and sincere conversation with her might solve all your urges.
I would try that as first solution.

 

[FurryFury]

I know just how you feel. Okay only sort of.

I also don't want to feel I've let things go and never explored them.

I worry about my marriage if I do explore things.

The difference is I'm a female, into more D/s stuff and a little Bi stuff.

Also thank the good lord I can talk with my husband about it!

He is pretty open.

Many spouses are not. I think it is harder for a man to explain to a woman his other desires than vice versa. I mean you tell a guy I want to bring in another chick he's going to say, "Hell yeah!" You know? LOL!

Anyway, good luck, I'll be sending good vibes your way.

Each person has to make their own path. Deciding which ones to trod or not is very hard, being comfortable with those decisions when we make them is even harder sometimes.

*hugs*

Fury

PS Love the avatar and pic above! Yummy!!! Bravo!

 

[Seduce]

Love the avatar and pic above! Yummy!!! Bravo!

Thanks

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks

I love roses! You are most welcome and hey, thank you for posting it!

Fury

 

[Seduce]

I love roses! You are most welcome and hey, thank you for posting it!

Fury

You are really too sweet

 

[T.H. Oughts]

She would never tolerate or understand this part of me. Yet I feel if I never explore it a part of me will never be allowed to be released.

What to do?

Well it looks like you have two options.

1. Leave your marriage and have fun with others.
2. Just stay maturbating to porn and spice up your sex life a bit more with your wife.

Having casual sex/blowjobs etc in real life with other people when you are married is the weak persons road to take.

It really depends how much you love your wife. What is more important: her or playing around with different sexual play.

 

[theoneadd2]

I'm going to suggest something that may not be all that popular around here but I do think it needs to be typed. If you go to your wife and tell her about this can you live with what may happen next if not then don't tell her. Lets say you tell her that you would like to be with a man and she leaves you. Then you go out and find that hot piece of ass you be looking for. But after it's all done and over with you don't think it something you feel you need to do all the time maybe once or twice a month or a year. Hell you may not want to do it ever again. But you talked to your wife about it and she gone and for what something you did once. Go out do it and then think about were you would like your life to go after that.

This is why I tell all my straight male/ females friends they should go out one night and hook up with one guy/girl. It's a one-time thing and no one has to know about it. It would just help them make an informed decision on there on life. I’ve gone out and had sex with women (just three) before and I found out it was something that I thought was ok but in no way did it compare to sex with a man. You've been married three times man that is a lot of times to say "I do" when you don't.

 

[Smoothie1]

Hey--Thanks for the thoughtful replies. I agree with both of the last two posters, especially. I do think it is weak to cheat on someone rather than face the music. At the same time, I don't want to risk a marriage on something that may be more fantasy than reality.

That's a decision I will have to make, but it is nice to know that others care enough to take time to offer their opinion.

 

[onceburned]

Basically I want to get together with another guy or a TG and suck his/her cock, exchange masturbation favors, and possibly go further. What I am afraid of is putting my marriage at risk. She would never tolerate or understand this part of me. Yet I feel if I never explore it a part of me will never be allowed to be released.

Well, you are in a tough position. Yes, the years are rolling by and you are feeling like you are missing out on life. On the other hand you made vows to your wife not to stray. And yes, I know (first hand) that wives do not understand or appreciate their husbands expressing a transgender interest.

It really comes down your personal values. Lots of folks never get to fulfill their dreams - they never go to Paris, they don't go scuba diving in the Caribbean, they don't scratch the itch that has been bothering them since they were a teen.

But others do. And they are willing to sacrifice everything to live their dream. In doing so they will not win any commendations or praise.... the pleasure they find will be the extent of their reward.

So, its a matter of your personal values. What do you value more.... faithfulness to your wife and the social acceptance that it brings, or exploring a corner of your life that has bothered you for sometime but which you know could have high social costs.

 

[SweetErika]

You're going to do what you want, but my thought is a person you care about should have a choice, and the guilt of betraying them can easily destroy you and the relationship.

I always find it useful to go through the worst-case scenarios... What if she somehow found out? How would you feel seeing her in so much pain? Even if you use a condom for everything, what would you do if it breaks and you get something? Would you be able to handle telling her then? What if you unwittingly pass it on to her? Are you willing to put her health, happiness, and life at risk like that? Or should she have the choice to either accept or deny the risk?

I've made a choice to be honest with my husband about everything. I told him when I was curious about women, when I wanted to experiment, about my experiences, etc. He deserves to be a decision maker because I love, respect, married him, and may be putting his health at risk. I've also told him everything regarding a type of relationship he'd expressed having a problem with previously. And you know what? He saw that honesty, my needs, and happiness, and has only been supportive. Your wife may or may not shock the hell out of you like that, but she deserves a chance to.