What to do?
- Thread starter ckb1978
- Start date
Jezebelle1458
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2004
- Posts
- 361
if your still thinking like that,you dont have any business getting married. hard,i know,but true.
jaded_lily
Baby Girl
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2004
- Posts
- 7,302
agreed
Missingmeds
Just being
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2003
- Posts
- 25,831
Jezebelle1458 said:
I agree with one question to ask you? Have you and the fiance had sex yet? If not, I would say back the wedding off a while and make sure that this is what you want to do.
There's nothing wrong with looking and fantasizing a bit...you'll be doing that whether you are single, married, whatever.
But if you are thinking about it ALL the time, and seriously considering getting together with another woman for a 'fuck fest'? Then you are not ready to walk down the aisle and give yourself to one woman. Period.
S.
But if you are thinking about it ALL the time, and seriously considering getting together with another woman for a 'fuck fest'? Then you are not ready to walk down the aisle and give yourself to one woman. Period.
S.
He have selx almost every night. We have great sex and I really enjoy it. We have enven talked about 3-somes and such but I dont think either one of us would go through with it. I know we both have really high sex drives, but I think mine is off the charts. To give you an idea we fuck like rabbits. I mean, we have a great sex life and I really enjoy it. I am the first guy who has ever made her cum from eating her out, and she is the first out of 10 for ever get me off while sucking me. We must have sex 7 or 8 times a week, but for some reason I still find myself wanting other women.
flyindolphine
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2004
- Posts
- 112
if you would really love the girl you owuld think about having sex with her and other women would be such a little figures to you, therefore i would advise to get your priorities straight
Interesting to compare some peoples' posts in this thread and the 'would you have sex with a married man' thread.
Of course, I agree this is somewhat different, it's just the strong monogamy stance here, and the rather different one elsewhere
FWIW, I think you need to sort this out before you get married.
It's not fair to have her wed you on false pretences, 'foresaking all others', when you've already got half an eye on the bridesmaid.
Some degree of fantasizing about other women is normal, sure, but if she wouldn't marry you if she knew you felt like this, just think long and hard about if you're going to deceive her this way.
Maybe the threesome thing will work out for you. Perhaps you should both discuss it more beforehand. Maybe you could even argee an open relationship.
Or maybe you should hold back on the wedding to see if you can be faithful long-term.
Just think about her when you decide what you'll do, eh?
Of course, I agree this is somewhat different, it's just the strong monogamy stance here, and the rather different one elsewhere
FWIW, I think you need to sort this out before you get married.
It's not fair to have her wed you on false pretences, 'foresaking all others', when you've already got half an eye on the bridesmaid.
Some degree of fantasizing about other women is normal, sure, but if she wouldn't marry you if she knew you felt like this, just think long and hard about if you're going to deceive her this way.
Maybe the threesome thing will work out for you. Perhaps you should both discuss it more beforehand. Maybe you could even argee an open relationship.
Or maybe you should hold back on the wedding to see if you can be faithful long-term.
Just think about her when you decide what you'll do, eh?
Felt Tip said:Of course, I agree this is somewhat different, it's just the strong monogamy stance here, and the rather different one elsewhere
I think the difference lies in the fact that he isn't even married to her yet, and he's already questioning fucking around? It doesn't excuse a married man when it comes to sleeping with someone else, but to go INTO the marriage knowing damn good and well you are going to wind up fucking someone else and knowing your wife would not be okay with it? Yeah, that is a different ballgame.
S.
Jezebelle1458
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2004
- Posts
- 361
the difference is,he is not married yet. and if he still wants to screw around that much,maybe he shouldn't be.there is a difference between screwing around with any and all that he can and having a set mistress with set boundries....or am i the only one who sees that?
Well, I know that I am deeply in love with her and I know in my heart that I would never fuck around with someone else. She knows that I like to look and I notice other women what she does not know is the thoughs I have about those women. If push came to shove, I seriously doubt that I could go through with an affair. but even knowing this, my eye and mind still wanders.
You're getting married, you're not becoming a eununch.
It's perfectly natural that you lust over other women. Nature made us in such a way that we want to perpetuate our genetic make up so that means we want to fuck like bunnies and make lots of babies with lots of different partners. Survival of the fittest.
Now, having said that, if you've never had sex with anyone other than your partner, curiosity may wind up getting the better of you. If you've spoken with your partner about three somes and you're willing to let her explore, I would recommend having a serious heart to heart.
In wedding vows, you promise to be 'faithful' and to forsake all other, clinging only to your spouse. Most people take that in a sexual manner, but I think it applies to how you relate to your spouse. If you have faith in your relationship and are committed to it as your primary relationship, then what happens with other people won't matter, as long as it doesn't put your spouse on the defensive. Get her permission, work out a deal and see where it leads. I think jealousy is born often out of fear of losing the person you care most deeply about. (Spoken by someone who wishes she could experiment more, but really doesn't want to leave hubby.)
It may very well be that once you sow your wild oats, you will appreciate the eye candy for what it is.
It's perfectly natural that you lust over other women. Nature made us in such a way that we want to perpetuate our genetic make up so that means we want to fuck like bunnies and make lots of babies with lots of different partners. Survival of the fittest.
Now, having said that, if you've never had sex with anyone other than your partner, curiosity may wind up getting the better of you. If you've spoken with your partner about three somes and you're willing to let her explore, I would recommend having a serious heart to heart.
In wedding vows, you promise to be 'faithful' and to forsake all other, clinging only to your spouse. Most people take that in a sexual manner, but I think it applies to how you relate to your spouse. If you have faith in your relationship and are committed to it as your primary relationship, then what happens with other people won't matter, as long as it doesn't put your spouse on the defensive. Get her permission, work out a deal and see where it leads. I think jealousy is born often out of fear of losing the person you care most deeply about. (Spoken by someone who wishes she could experiment more, but really doesn't want to leave hubby.)
It may very well be that once you sow your wild oats, you will appreciate the eye candy for what it is.
capricious_chic
Yes
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2002
- Posts
- 18,792
Would you still marry her if you couldn't fuck her? If a situation arose where you couldn't have physical sex would you cheat?
Jezebelle1458
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2004
- Posts
- 361
when the mind wanders.....well,it all depends on which head he thinks with.
borusewicz
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2004
- Posts
- 119
Even though you are getting married, you are still a man. It is ok to have those thoughts, just as long as they stay thoughts. I got married a year ago and got this great advice.
Getting married is like going to an art museum. You can look at that art on the walls, but you can't touch it.
So you can look at other women, just keep your hands to yourself or on your wife and you are ok.
Getting married is like going to an art museum. You can look at that art on the walls, but you can't touch it.
So you can look at other women, just keep your hands to yourself or on your wife and you are ok.
capricious_chic said:
Absolutly. I truly love this woman with all my heart. and I would marry her regardles of the situation. I still dont think I could cheat on her just knowing the pain it could cause here. If she gave me permission, that would be another story.
Selena_Kitt
Disappearing
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2004
- Posts
- 12,336
Book suggestion:
David Deida's "Way of the Superior Man" ... he talks about how men will always want other women, how it's totally normal... doesn't mean you have to act on it, though.
David Deida's "Way of the Superior Man" ... he talks about how men will always want other women, how it's totally normal... doesn't mean you have to act on it, though.
One question comes to mind here.How would you feel if you knew she looks at a lot of other guys and fantasizes about sucking them off and having them fuck the daylights out of her?If you would be OK with that I'd say great no problem.
mystic_maiden32
Hell in high heels
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2004
- Posts
- 3,622
77Cobra said:
good question! Also-why do you feel you need to go and have sex with all these women? Is it some form of acceptance you are looking for?
It is natural to fantasize about other women, but if you are questioning it right before you get married I would think twice about going thru with it. Cold feet maybe?
