What to do when your partner asks?

[ssremember129]

This is a question for men who are Bi but have been in a monogamous relationship and happy with it. Recently with the on-going communication between my female partner she wanted to know the details of my experiences with men before we met.

After being apprehensive for a bit, we started talking about them. To my surprise, she was very appreciative in hearing what I did (you can see a few of my early encounters in the story section under the "Remembering When..." series) to the point she has been encouraging me with new butt plugs, further talk about the subject and even as far as saying "if you ever get the chance I want to watch".

So here is the question, has anyone else ever experienced this type of situation and what did you do with it? For example, did you act on finding a jack-off buddy, play in front of your partner, or just keep it as part of the sexual fantasy?

And if you did act on it, how did you determine that the person would be respectful of the rules where she watches and we play in front of her?

 

[blowit]

Not had that experience yet although we have had the chat. She indulges my fantasy to suck cock in pillow talk etc and has recently given her consent to me to suck cock on the proviso that I stay safe, clean and discreet. She has also asked that if the opportunity presents itself and I do meet and suck a man off that I tell her the details. That might in the future lead to her asking to watch us although she hasn't expressed the desire to do so. My search continues.

 

[paulw128]

/.....

 

[blowit]

For me, it was a very easy transition from having our very close male friend join us for occasional threesomes. My wife was very turned on by the idea of us interacting. She and I would talk dirty about it after a threesome. Eventually, we did touch each other's cocks. "accidentally" brush up against each other, have my wife lick and suck our cocks so that they touched, etc.

This eventually led to sucking each other, which got her wild. And finally, this led to he and I playing without her. Not too often but any time the mood strikes and the logistics work. She's totally cool with this as long as I give her details afterwards

Nice. Here's hoping

 

[paulw128]

.....

 

[blowit]

Sounds like you're on your way. You have any friends you think might be into it? Might be easier to go the route my wife and I did, rather than go solo, would she be into a threesome? (would you be?

I don't have friends that might be into to it. At least not that I know of. I have one friend I would like to be involved with but couldn't possibly make it known to him for fear of a bad reaction spoiling a long and close friendship.
As for a 3some I am unsure. Wife likes the idea but states only in fantasy although she has in the past suggested a spontaneous fling whilst away from home on holiday could be a possibility. There is no way she will consider arranging for a 3some to happen. I like the idea of a MMF scenario.

 

[ssremember129]

Great replies. It would nice if we had a friend who would play but like some stated here, none that we know of would be interested. Good to know others have had similar experiences.

 

[Kantarii]

I dunno. My now ex wife approached me with something similar. I did tell her about my past history with men being honest, but when she approached me saying it was okay for me to go back to doing it and she wanted to watch, I declined. I was a little suspicious that she was gonna use that as leverage to play with other men. In the end I was correct in my assumption that she was cheating behind my back. I'm glad I never caved in to her permission to play with other men.

 

[ssremember129]

I don't think my wife is having an affair. I also know she has said her sex drive is not what she'd like it to be. She is the one who buys my toys and even encourages me to use them. I'm thinking that this might be something she is wanting to enhance her sex drive while also making sure that even if she doesn't want sex, that she is making sure I am having it?

Not sure, but it seems like this is as much of a turn on for her as it is for me especially by bringing out into our discussions me being bi.

 

[PuttingOutFires]

I don't think my wife is having an affair. I also know she has said her sex drive is not what she'd like it to be. She is the one who buys my toys and even encourages me to use them. I'm thinking that this might be something she is wanting to enhance her sex drive while also making sure that even if she doesn't want sex, that she is making sure I am having it?

Not sure, but it seems like this is as much of a turn on for her as it is for me especially by bringing out into our discussions me being bi.

It seems pretty apparent that she is at least trying to keep the relationship thriving even under the
fact that her libido seems to be waning. Perhaps it is an effort to stimulate her own sexual desires.
I give her a lot of credit for not only keeping the communication lines open, but she also might be
stepping out of her comfort zone in an effort to keep you interested.
Kudos to your partner.
B.

 

[blowit]

I have no reason to believe or suspect my wife is playing away or has an ulterior motive for giving me consent to play with a man. She has had my consent to play with a woman for a long time now so it's more of a reciprocal thing. She is very bi curious herself but hasn't played with a woman yet as she is too scared to. She is very aware I have no inclination to see another woman unless she is also involved. Likewise I have her assurance of the same re her with a man. We are extremely close and secure in our relationship.

 

[ssremember129]

I have no reason to believe or suspect my wife is playing away or has an ulterior motive for giving me consent to play with a man. She has had my consent to play with a woman for a long time now so it's more of a reciprocal thing. She is very bi curious herself but hasn't played with a woman yet as she is too scared to. She is very aware I have no inclination to see another woman unless she is also involved. Likewise I have her assurance of the same re her with a man. We are extremely close and secure in our relationship.

I believe blowit is where we are going to be at shortly. I really have no interest in another woman. My wife used to have female lovers years ago but she has said she doesn't have an interest in that unless the right woman came around.

I believe she is trustworthy and simply being honest that this is something she wants for her and us to further our great relationship. So I've started to look for opportunities where I can find a relationship with a similar man who wants a friend, confident and lover for a long-term. We'll see where it goes and how soon we can make this happen.

Great replies, thanks!

 

[wishywashy]

I believe blowit is where we are going to be at shortly. I really have no interest in another woman. My wife used to have female lovers years ago but she has said she doesn't have an interest in that unless the right woman came around.

I believe she is trustworthy and simply being honest that this is something she wants for her and us to further our great relationship. So I've started to look for opportunities where I can find a relationship with a similar man who wants a friend, confident and lover for a long-term. We'll see where it goes and how soon we can make this happen.

Great replies, thanks!

Good answer I'm also from Ohio. where are you from? I'm in Toledo.

 

[ssremember129]

I'm near Cleveland but if you want to talk further, just PM me. That goes for anyone if you have an interest.

 

[ssremember129]

It seems pretty apparent that she is at least trying to keep the relationship thriving even under the
fact that her libido seems to be waning. Perhaps it is an effort to stimulate her own sexual desires.
I give her a lot of credit for not only keeping the communication lines open, but she also might be
stepping out of her comfort zone in an effort to keep you interested.
Kudos to your partner.
B.

Definitely give wife all the credit as it could have been a very negative response. She is really the outgoing one of the relationship even though she thinks she is reserved. So now we're both thinking of how to make this happen.

 

[biboy77]

i give my wife a lot of credit for being open minded. we have been together for 13 yrs married for 9. I told her that I was bi within 6 months of dating. we wanted to have a 3way for the both of us. MMF that would play with us both ...when it came down to it she wasn't into the guy and just watched me and him suck each other and I did things with her... this has happened 3 times and it doenst look like she will ever want to have a 2nd guy for her. but atleast i was able to do it and she watched. i just wish she gave me the go-ahead to have a buddy for the times i get those urges....it is kind of nerve wrecking when shes there. not sure whats in the cards for future meetings as she never brings this up ...only talks about it when i bring it up and she just gives me quick answers.. so because of her lack of interest i just put it in the back burner for now