What to do about a bad influence on my lover...

[pc_2000_ky]

I have a question for the anonymous group of you.

My significant other has a very good friend whom I greatly distain. Her friend is a habitual bad influence...she is constantly unfaithful to her husband and looks for rendzevous and trysts whenever possible. She is very outwardly agressive when it comes to men and has no trouble approaching men for sex. I often feel that she puts my gal into situations with which I am uncomfortable.

For instance, my lover went on a "girls trip" with this woman a year ago (along with several other women), and during the trip, the friend hooked up with numerous men. My significant other told me all about it, and I wasn't worried that she was also partaking in the extracirricular activities. However, with another trip coming this spring, I am increasingly uncomfortable with it. I don't think I have any doubts about my significant other, but I hate the idea of her being in an environment with an aggressive gal who will undoubtedly be bringing equally agressive men into contact with the group of gals.

My gal tells me not to worry, and that she is not interested or swayed by anything her friend gets into, but I still cringe.

Does anyone else think its a problem, or am I just being ridiculous...

 

[Lancecastor]

Dump her.



Lance

 

[Guest]

peer pressure is an amazing thing.

Be up front... tell her exactly how you feel about this friend... but don't try to force her to choose... that never goes over well.

Without trust...there can be no love. So if you don't think you can completely trust her.. then perhaps its time to move on to someone who you can trust.

 

[Gord]

Nope you just give her the trust

dont try and talk her out of going as that will just make her a bit pissed that you dont trust her and could lead to other problems

If she is going to fuck around she will regardless - just because she is on a trip with plenty of opportunity and time - and she will probably be drinking a lot so maybe loose some inhabitions - and also she might just get curious - doesnt meen she will

so dont worry

 

[Monazwx]

Tell her how you feel.
She may not be cheating, but guys may assume that she's easy by association.

This alone can get into situations that she may not be able to handle. Having an irresponsible friend isn't easy, but you have to wonder why they are still friends and try to understand, ifnot accept.

 

[pc_2000_ky]

thanks...

Thanks for the interesting responses.

I can't fault my significant other for being her friend, as her friend is incredibly loyal to her (just not her own husband...) and would do absolutely anything for my gal.

Its hard to decide whether I am being an overly anxious guy, or whether I'm actually rational. I know that packs of guys look for packs of girls when out, so the fact that her friend looks for such types of guys bothers the hell out of me.

Sigh.......

 

[peachykeen]

I don't entirely agree that you should not worry. Yes, you should trust your partner, absolutely. However, if this friend is bringing strange men (men she has just met) back to, say, a common house that all the girls are sharing, and if she's being none too picky, what's to say one of these guys she hooks up with and brings around won't be some sort of dangerous psycho character?

 

[Texan]

Actually, there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

Are you considering the suicidal act of "forbidding" your lover from going?

Sure, you and she can talk about it, as suggested here by others, but in truth, all you can do is listen and hope she continues to tell you the truth about her friend's escapades.

I suggest you let her go with your best blessings and trust. Anything other than that will damage your relationship, and worse, it will be YOUR fault, not her's.

BTW, it is most difficult to cheat when your lover trusts you. If you are not trusted, then why be trustworthy?

just an opinion.

 

[MaggieH]

Re: thanks...

I can't fault my significant other for being her friend

I can. I wouldn't be friends with a woman like that, and I sure as hell wouldn't be providing cover for her little sleazy trysts with other guys. While your girlfriend may not be cheating on you, and maybe never would, I would still be concerned by the fact that she is condoning this woman's behavior and facilitating it. What does that say about her?