What techniques do you use to avoid repeating characters' names?

[AG31]

So I have a story where there are basically two characters, one of whom is doing stuff to the other. The author knows everything that is going on plus the inner thoughts and reactions of the MC. There's a term for this....

My question is how do you avoid constantly repeating the two characters' names? Pronouns are often ambiguous.

And is there a term for this writing challenge that i could use to Google it? Or search YouTube for a relevant Story Grid video? (@SyleusSnow).

tia
ag

 

[SyleusSnow]

You rang?

I don't know it there's a literary term for this, but yeah it gets tricky when both are the same sex... otherwise you can use "he" and "she" or whatever pronouns a lot to avoid constantly repeating names.

One possible trick is to focus on one character one paragraph at a time, similar to how you avoid "head hopping" in a story that includes multiple character perspectives: concentrate one paragraph entirely on one character's feeling and actions, what they're doing and what the other character is doing to them, then in the next paragraph flip point of view to the other character. Repeat as necessary.

 

[Sinstories]

Definitely a challenge, especially with same sex scenes. I don't know if I have the answer, but I tend to try to overcome that problem by focusing paragraphs on the actions of one character vs the other and starting the paragraph in a way that lets the reader know which character is acting, plus keeping the paragraphs short.

btw, the term you are looking for is 3rd person Limited Omniscient (omniscient you have insight into all characters, limited you elevate 1 character)

 

[StillStunned]

Would the story work if told in 1P?

 

[KeithD]

Often it's the "young blond guy" and the "older man." I major issue with same-sex characters.

 

[SimonDoom]

My view: people worry too much about repetition. If it's necessary to let the reader know who the character is, then it's fine. Alternate between Proper names and pronouns, or perhaps use descriptive titles. For instance, if I were writing a western erotic romance between a cowboy and a woman I might refer to him in a scene as "the cowboy" as well as his name and "he" and "him."

Also, mix up the sentence structure, and it will go down better. If every sentence begins with the noun/subject, then you magnify the problem. Mix up the sentence structure, and it will help.

 

[AG31]

Would the story work if told in 1P?

Interesting idea, but it's all written and I'm just fine tuning it. I've never written a 1st person story. Hadn't even considered it. But it's an interesting solution.

 

[AG31]

r perhaps use descriptive titles.

I'm going to explore this.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I usually try and add a descriptor when there is more than one male or female involved.
The blonde woman began to...
The older man felt...
As long as you have clearly assigned the relevant characteristics earlier in the story it works.

 

[StillStunned]

Interesting idea, but it's all written and I'm just fine tuning it. I've never written a 1st person story. Hadn't even considered it. But it's an interesting solution.

If you're not in any particular hurry to publish or move on to your next project, it could be an interesting exercise. Changing from 3P to 1P isn't just a matter of changing pronouns. You have to examine every line to see how the perspective shift changes the details: what the narrator sees, thinks, feels, even what they smell and taste. It can be rewarding, and you might find it useful just to see what it involves, but it's quite a lot of work.

 

[ElectricBlue]

My view: people worry too much about repetition. If it's necessary to let the reader know who the character is, then it's fine. Alternate between Proper names and pronouns, or perhaps use descriptive titles. For instance, if I were writing a western erotic romance between a cowboy and a woman I might refer to him in a scene as "the cowboy" as well as his name and "he" and "him."

Also, mix up the sentence structure, and it will go down better. If every sentence begins with the noun/subject, then you magnify the problem. Mix up the sentence structure, and it will help.

This. Just repeat the names more often than you might want to, but after a short while, the eye parses the name the same way it copes with he said, she said as a dialogue tag. Keep it simple.

The "cleverer" you get using physical descriptors as tags very quickly becomes forced and artificial, just as it does with dialogue (he opined). As @Kelliezgirl says up above, keep the descriptors few and simple.

 

[AG31]

This. Just repeat the names more often than you might want to, but after a short while, the eye parses the name the same way it copes with he said, she said as a dialogue tag. Keep it simple.

The "cleverer" you get using physical descriptors as tags very quickly becomes forced and artificial, just as it does with dialogue (he opined). As @Kelliezgirl says up above, keep the descriptors few and simple.

Excellent insights!

 

[SimonDoom]

Be careful about taking the desire for variety too far, or you can end up with something like this:

Bill took off his dusty Stetson and approached the bed. On it lay Lily, wearing stockings and nothing else.

"You came to see me?" the eager prostitute inquired with a saucy look.

"You bet," replied the dirty cowboy.

The horny drover shucked off his pants.

"Oooh, that's a big one," the whore squealed.

"It's all for you, little lady," growled the weary, ho-hungry cattle man, jumping on the bed.

 

[ronde]

Unless you change characters in the middle of a paragraph, using pronouns after identifying the subject of the paragraph by name should work fine. If you change characters in mid-paragraph, you'll need to identify the new subject character by name or by some other differentiating term.

In first person, since the reader already knows who the narrator is, pronouns can be used freely, though it can get tiring to read, "he .... and then he...." repeatedly. I like to use the secondary character's name once in a while in order to avoid that.

 

[PennameWombat]

So I have a story where there are basically two characters, one of whom is doing stuff to the other. The author knows everything that is going on plus the inner thoughts and reactions of the MC. There's a term for this....

My question is how do you avoid constantly repeating the two characters' names? Pronouns are often ambiguous.

And is there a term for this writing challenge that i could use to Google it? Or search YouTube for a relevant Story Grid video? (@SyleusSnow).

tia
ag

As others have said, this is third person limited.

On your broader question, I wrote a story and never named the three MCs at any point, it's third person limited from the POV of the younger F.

Through the Woods

The first part was easy, a MF couple. The second half pulled in a second F. I'd already established physical differences (older/younger, thin/curvy, short/tall, hair color, etc.) so I used those on occasion.

But I also established physical positions and used those by reference, which expected the reader to keep that in mind. The story is popular enough to have the red H, so didn’t seem to bother too many people.

 

[Cagivagurl]

Luck

 

[Bramblethorn]

Context can go a long way in clarifying who's who.

For instance, one of my stories has a scene with three female characters - one narrator, two "she"s. Two of them have a sugar-baby arrangement; they tell the third one this, she thinks they're lying to her, so they decide to prove it to her then and there. One is taking a dominant role, one a submissive role, and both of them are trying to discomfort the third, who's mostly a voyeur.

Each of those is a very different role, so when "she"/"her" comes up, it's easy to tell who it refers to simply by what that "she"/"her" is doing or having done to them.

 

[Rob_Royale]

What I try to focus on the most, is not starting each paragraph with a name. Stacy did this, John said that. So I try to start it with a descriptive line. Then the name and the next time they are referenced is a him or her. Then when I start dialog I use anything besides a name, to help flesh out the scene. Then the following dialog I may plug the name back in.

The sun was just setting when Stacy stepped into the room. Hearing her heels on the hardwood floor, John looked up and his eyes went wide. The red dress looked terrific on her, bold and tight, and with effort, he kept his mouth from dropping open. "Got a match, handsome?" the stunning redhead asked with a cool look.
The overworked gumshoe sighed and pushed his fedora back on his head. "I don't smoke, sweetheart. That stuff will kill ya."
Stacy laughed and leaned over his desk, offering a glimpse of her legendary cleavage. "Well, I wanted to use it to burn off this thread, on my dress." John forced his eyes to look at her sleeve where her petite hand was pointing.

But a lot of this happens in the second/third/fourth draft. On the first, I just want to get the scene down. Making the scene flow well is more work and I don't worry about it initially. This seems to work for me.

 

[HordHolm]

[DELETED] Wrong thread. Sorry.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

I made peace with the shortcomings of writing third person where certain words might be repeated ad nausium. Throw some "she" and "hers" in there, as annoying as "Karla did, Karla touched, Karla licked," can be, it does help the readers follow the story. Much like "said", you can only eliminate so much of it, but it's gonna be there.

 

[AchtungNight]

Why avoid names in the first place? Is there something wrong with using them?

 

[AG31]

I try to avoid repeating anything too much in the same paragrph.

 

[Northstar4695]

I'm not sure if it's what you're getting at, but I try to cut out dialogue tags whenever I can, especially if only two people are talking. I find it makes the flow of conversations sharper. That might be one way to cut down on the number of times you use names.

Overly simple example:

"Hello," said Jack.

"Hi," said Jill.

"How are you?" Jack asked.

"Good," Jill said, "and you?"

"I'm well," Jack said.

Instead:

"Hello," said Jack.

"Hi," said Jill.

"How are you?"

"Good. And you?"

"I'm well."

 

[AchtungNight]

I try to avoid repeating anything too much in the same paragrph.

Ok, I get that. Still, sometimes you have to repeat yourself. References to characters is an example. It sometimes makes it hard when they go by the same nickname- my femslash fanfic “Two Cats in Heat” about sports stars hooking up during Olympic Games downtime had that particular challenge by my personal choice. I had to refer to the characters by their last names to help myself out and when a beta reader had issues with that, call them “Cat” & “Cat Two” for the sequel (I didn’t particularly like doing that, but hey, it’s cool to plug Dr. Seuss, right?).

It also gets old reminding readers of characters’ personal details- hair color, national origin, ethnicity, etc. And when you have more than two characters in a dialogue you need to keep the tags for obvious reasons. So remember, if you have good reasons to use the names, don’t be afraid to do it.

Reading over this thread, I see many other excellent bits of advice.

 

[AG31]

I'm not sure if it's what you're getting at, but I try to cut out dialogue tags whenever I can, especially if only two people are talking. I find it makes the flow of conversations sharper. That might be one way to cut down on the number of times you use names.

Overly simple example:

"Hello," said Jack.

"Hi," said Jill.

"How are you?" Jack asked.

"Good," Jill said, "and you?"

"I'm well," Jack said.

Instead:

"Hello," said Jack.

"Hi," said Jill.

"How are you?"

"Good. And you?"

"I'm well."

Yes, when it's dialogue I adopt your approach. But this has to do with actions.