What sucks the most about being Transgendered

[DustyWolfe]

Okay, so this is like a total rant....

You know what I really hate about being FtM? being such a minority and how sexualized and commercialized being TG is... you search TG stuff and all you come up with is She-Male this and transvestite that... Even searching FtM you come up with MtF porn.

I cant even begin to imagine being MtF and trying to find resources. All you would ever come up with is porn. It's rather sickening. And damn.... Can you imagine if someone was trying to find FtM porn? It doesn't exist, except for a certain livejournal community lol.

Anyways... such is my rant. I just really despise how commercialized this all is to the point of it being a detriment to transgender people.

 

[John Doe]

Everything is commercialized. It's one of the downsides of living in a Capitalist society.

 

[DustyWolfe]

Everything is commercialized. It's one of the downsides of living in a Capitalist society.

No kidding... It really sucks

 

[DirkPryde]

.

 

[DustyWolfe]

Re: can't imagine

I can't imagine how frustrating it would be for you.
When looking up or should I say TRYING to look up information about sex and sexuality I always get hit with the usual porn wall.

Have you had any luck recently ? maybe the people here on lit can help you look ? just a thought

By The Way - I love Werewolves and adopted one because of your sig, so thanks ... hehe

Yeah... and even when I try to look up FtM it still comes up she-male porn lol. It's really annoying.

Fortunately I have found some good yahoo groups about FtM and have joined some good live journal groups as well. I even found an FtM porn group which is really interesting lol.

I love werewolves too, I'm glad my werewolf madness is spreading I even have a werewolf (sorta, one of the characters is a garou) rp on here in the SRP forum, just need to revive it lol.

 

[DirkPryde]

.

 

[DustyWolfe]

Well it's good you have found others to talk to I am reading some of your stuff from the links in your sig ATM. I have not read all of it but I must say you must be a great person to rise above your past.

Cool, NorthernFang is the name of my Garou character ... I have the Werewolf RPG books hehe and GM games now and then.
He is an Ahroun, Get of Fenris Quite a fiesty character !

Thank you very much, that makes me feel very good to read what you just wrote. It's taken alot of time and effort on not only my part, but the part of my partner. I'm trying to motivate myself to move the broken subs page to a real server and change some names though, because one set is too close to someone's real name and it was causing some confusion lol.

I really want to play garou, but I am having a hard time finding the books now that they have been discontinued. So now they are expensive *grumbles*

One of my garou characters is named Nashoa (literally meaning Shewolf in Cherokee) and the other is Kameron, which is basically my personality, and a ftm just to make things fun lol.

I only get to play a garou in role playing on mucks and such, but someday I hope to get into the RPG

 

[Netzach]

Crass....commercial.....hey it's porn! We all need porn!

...but when you said there's not FtM porn....you were almost not wrong, there's not a lot...but there is Buck.

Just for you to drool over....I sure do.

DROOL!!!

 

[Etoile]

Lots of information can be found in the links here:
http://dmoz.org/Society/Transgendered

also here, but somewhat more porn-oriented:
http://dmoz.org/Adult/Society/Sexuality/Transgendered/

 

[DustyWolfe]

Crass....commercial.....hey it's porn! We all need porn!

...but when you said there's not FtM porn....you were almost not wrong, there's not a lot...but there is Buck.

Just for you to drool over....I sure do.

DROOL!!!

Hehe thanks, I was wanting it to mainly show Jess the things that will happen, she can lust over it till my body is further along in the transition

 

[DustyWolfe]

Lots of information can be found in the links here:
http://dmoz.org/Society/Transgendered

also here, but somewhat more porn-oriented:
http://dmoz.org/Adult/Society/Sexuality/Transgendered/

Thank you Etoile, I started looking at the porn out of curiousity, have yet to find anything FtM. It's all Shemale stuff so far lol. Which is my original complaint

 

[Netzach]

I'm so glad I could put a little smile on your face.

It's got a long way to go, but I think the bottom line is that everyone thinks the market for porn is only so big, so many people (guys) and that it only has so many interests. Alternatively gendered and whatevered people want to look at images of people like us and get off, that's what no one realizes. Also, women like porn. It's starting to come out, and the "rules for woman friendly porn" are being re-written a lot.

There's not a bazillion dollars to be made in that, but the porn tends to be a labor or love and it's hot because it's real. I think really specific and DIY-feeling sites like this are neat, and I really think there's an amazing blurring of who looks at who. I can see lesbians liking these images. I can see trans guys and girls liking these images. I can see certain gay men getting off on them too or at least giving them a long second look, having their ideas of what's masculine really thrown for a loop.

There was this really hot image on there a few months ago of Buck and another bearish leather guy (transguy?) playing with a cigar, doing leather/bear things. That was really interesting to me, tugged at my faghag voyeur strings in a huge way, totally turned this whole idea that having a pussy or a dick determines what we're into at all.

 

[DustyWolfe]

I'm so glad I could put a little smile on your face.

It's got a long way to go, but I think the bottom line is that everyone thinks the market for porn is only so big, so many people (guys) and that it only has so many interests. Alternatively gendered and whatevered people want to look at images of people like us and get off, that's what no one realizes. Also, women like porn. It's starting to come out, and the "rules for woman friendly porn" are being re-written a lot.

There's not a bazillion dollars to be made in that, but the porn tends to be a labor or love and it's hot because it's real. I think really specific and DIY-feeling sites like this are neat, and I really think there's an amazing blurring of who looks at who. I can see lesbians liking these images. I can see trans guys and girls liking these images. I can see certain gay men getting off on them too or at least giving them a long second look, having their ideas of what's masculine really thrown for a loop.

There was this really hot image on there a few months ago of Buck and another bearish leather guy (transguy?) playing with a cigar, doing leather/bear things. That was really interesting to me, tugged at my faghag voyeur strings in a huge way, totally turned this whole idea that having a pussy or a dick determines what we're into at all.

I will have to eventually do a month on that site and see what it's all about. I started looking at the dvds that he has for sale and found that he hasn't had the bottom surgery. That's cool

Well, I tend to believe that my body isn't what makes me what I am. Yeah... I have a small dick from Testosterone, but it's real and it's mine. I also have a vagina at the moment, so I'm intersexed, a hermaphrodite? It's a bit humorous how we try to label everything to the point where labels actually get in the way.

So... I will have to show that site to a friend of mine that's a transhag and see what she thinks lol

 

[deezire1900]

play

I went and saw a wonderful play on Saturday evening called "Life's a Drag" It was so good. It was mainly FTM actors, and they put on a spectacular show. I can't wait to go to their next project.

Oh, and HOT, HOT, HOT...those boys (as they choose) tripped my trigger, which was so funny.

Deezire

 

[DustyWolfe]

Re: play

I went and saw a wonderful play on Saturday evening called "Life's a Drag" It was so good. It was mainly FTM actors, and they put on a spectacular show. I can't wait to go to their next project.

Oh, and HOT, HOT, HOT...those boys (as they choose) tripped my trigger, which was so funny.

Deezire

Sounds like a very interesting play that I would like to say.

Hey, I hope I am that HOT someday

A few years ago, way before I started my transition (which I am only two weeks into) I was in a drag show. Won third place, then a few hours later we went to a different gay bar and I was still in drag. Had all sorts of gay guys hitting on me. LOL. Pissed my gf off

 

[MCunnilinguist]

Sometimes the market needs some shaking up, often a need will be fulfilled when that need is made known. Often people just complain that something is not there and forget about it, when it seems that no one is listening.

You have to make your voices heard, better still get more involved, this may be an opportunity in waiting for you or someone like yourself to bring about some positive changes.

 

[RobHammer]

Buck Angel

I have in my possesion the Adventures of Buck Naked parts 1 and 2. My wife and I watched part 1 as soon as it came and I must say I wasn't impressed (my wife's take -- bad, bad). It was interesting to say the least, but not really that erotic. It is very amatuer in it's production. Buck does have a dominant streak. I'll be reviewing them for Adult DVD Talk. If anyone is interested in reading my reviews let me know. It may be a while before I get to both.

 

[RobHammer]

Buck Angel

Links to reviews of Buck's movies:

The Adventures Of Buck Naked

The Adventures Of Buck Naked 2

If you dont want to shell out the $30 to buy it, there is a pay-per-view link on the first review.

 

[WetDenise]

Samuel is absolutely gorgeous!!!!!! What a little sweetheart! You lucked out when you found that little ball of fluff!!

 

[Mallory69]

I was going to suggest that you check out the Yahoo groups but you did that already. Good for you. I have a beef of my own being mtf.

When I'm in my drabs, hair tied back, maybe need a shave, acting as any male would and so forth, I will hear people make comments behind my back about how I look like a girl. I work in retail and I do not "fit' the image that the managers would have me. I can't prove anything because they havn't said anything directly to me but I know that it is the reason that after being there 10 years I get such a negative attitude and get turned down for advanced positions on the sales floor . To prove this point I was in a position where I needed to cut my hair for a character I played in a theatrical production with my local theatre company. Suddenly I notice that the manager and all of his little followers are a lot more friendly to me.

Then there is the irony of the reactions I get from the general public. As I mentioned about how people often comment about my looks when I'm not even trying, I noticed a couple of older gentlemen in our sporting goods department looking around. So, in following with our customer relations policy and my own good naturedness I asked them if they needed any help to which one of them asked "Your'e a man?" "Yes." I replied "How may I be of assistance?" Again he asked. "You're a guy?" Again I answered "Yes, did you need any help locating something?" He askes a third time, at which point I'm getting kind of annoyed but sort of flattered at the same time, "You're a fella?" "YES!" I answered more assertively. "Do you need any help with anything?" to which he answered "No, we're just looking around at the moment." "Very well, have a good day." I replied and walked away. I was kind of amused at the whole situation among all of the other things that were running through my mind and went through the rest of the week without any more hassles.

Some time later, I was at the only gay bar in my city and was fully dressed and made up in my fem persona. I like what I see when I go out and am even more flattered when a woman or two might try to hit on me or want to dance with me which makes me feel like the woman I wish I could be. Here comes the irony. Okay so here I am at the bar, dressed up, feeling sexy and pretty when I need to go to the washroom. As I approach the ladies' room the bouncer tells me that I am not to use that one but the mens' room instead. I am not impressed. When I'm out and about, dressed as I am, I AM a woman. I just happen to be inside this corporeal male form. I'm not going there to get my jollies. I just need to do my business, check my lipstick and go back to the dance floor and have a good time. Hell, I've seen some women looking more masculine than I do when I'm in my drabs going in there and nobody bats an eye. I mean what's with that?

Granted, if I wre a real woman or if I had the courage to go all the way with SRS or something, I'd be a lesbian, Oh, I so much envy pretty women and all their attributes, when I ee a pretty woman I see a finely created sculpture worthy of being displayed in the finest galleries around the world. Beauty, grace and poetry all in one package. I'm in total awe of their perscence. At the very least I'd be bi with a heavy tilt towards other women or with pretty 'girls' like myself who put a lot of effort into creating their female image. It just doesn't seem fair to be caught between genders like this.

I want to be loved and accepted just as much as anyone else. I'm an incurable romantic but it seems that romance and people like me who still believe in such things are of a dying breed. I am envious of those women who are so totally in love with each other, I want to be held like that too. I want to be able to be in my fem persona and hold hands with a pretty woman and feel all of those little tingles one gets when they're in love. I want to be hugged too. It has been ages since I've shared a kiss with a woman. I feel like I'm in the desert dying of thirst when I find an oasis but am not allowed to drink because I don't meet the standards of what is required. I'm dying inside. I have met other girls like me but not quite. They are covered in a lot of messy, ugly body hair and I am unfulfilled. Sure I might have sex with them but this too is not as fulfilling, at least not for me. I want to make love to a woman AS a woman. I would glady exchange this little appendage that I have between my legs for something more delicate and responsive. Hell, most of the time it doesn't work properly anyway. I've been a cyclist for over 30 years it takes a lot of the proper stimuli to become functional. I'd much rather have a little nub that is more sensitive to gentle caresses than the effort it takes to get this thing going.

Why is it that we transgendered people or more to the point, two spirited, are among the last recognized and accepted people among the alternative lifestyle community? Bisexual people fare just a little bit better than us but not by much. You'd think that a community that advocates and fights for tolerance, acceptance and equality would be more tolerant towards those of us who are the invisible minority yet they aren't.

I'm sorry if I babble on too much.

May we all find the happiness and acceptance we seek.

I just wonder when it will be my turn.

 

[Honeydew56]

Too bad society has such a long way to go. They think they are so accepting. My CD husband would never step outside our house dressed fem, he would get the crap beat out of him.
If we want to go to a group meeting with other CD couples then he has to dress at the meeting or partly dress at home and finish later. But we do live in the midwest where anything different is looked down on.
We have found more acceptance in other places where no one says a word and discrimination is not put up with, thus unisex bathrooms. Although I would take my DH by the hand and lead him to the ladies room with me, loan him my lipstick and smile pretty.
We all need to be educated about differences and be more accepting of it all.
Hollywood does not help either when it makes movies showing transgendered persons as a joke or weird.
Maybe in 20's year my husband will walk out our door with pride.
We all have to work to make that happen.
Honey

 

[Joannac]

I couldn't agree more...... especially hate the objectification aspects of the whole porn thing..... I hate when people call me a shemale.....

 

[Etoile]

I couldn't agree more...... especially hate the objectification aspects of the whole porn thing..... I hate when people call me a shemale.....

Welcome to the board, Joannac! I'll be sending you a PM shortly.

 

[Mallory69]

I also dislike that people refer to all people who are transgendered and use the term "DRAG QUEEN" as if there is only one term. I wish people would get informed before making any statements or comments about this issue.

Mallory

 

[Netzach]

While there's an annoying aspect to being painted with a broad brush, I'm also becoming a bit sensitized to a rift in the T community where those who DO "just dress" or those who are 'Kings and 'Queens get villified for their more performative, more sexual take on gender.

While standing up for one's right to "normalcy" it's also important not to alienate those who really don't care how happy or comfrotable the mainstream is with your sexuality.