What started you?

[Sami78]

What started you into BDSM?

Me, I'm fairly new at it. My hubby and I have only tried a few things, but I'm nervous about telling him what I want. I love to feel submissive and love it when he "owns" me, but I can't seem to find the words to tell him everything I'm feeling. He'd take it really well, and enjoy it as well, but I'm shy. Weird. I've been with him 10 years, he's my best friend, I can tell him anything, but about this, I'm shy. LOL.

This board intrigued my interest in it. I knew how I felt, but this board has expanded my knowledge and made me want it more!

 

[Desdemona]

Sami, its a great question. I always had these secret urges but I kept repressing them. Finally, I was reading the infamous Sleeping Beauty books and I could no longer deny the fact that this stuff turns me on. I found Lit and the rest is history.

I find that when something is hard for me to say or I'm afraid I'll mess it up, I can write it out pretty clearly. That may help you communicate your deviant desires to your hubby.

Good luck! Glad to have you here.

 

[A Desert Rose]

This is why I was against the cafe idea and still am.

This is a thread that should be on the front page. And the thread about someone's halloween pictures belongs in here.

But who am I to stand in the way of progress?

 

[SweetCherry]

I think I've always felt this way. When I was younger, it was less of a sexual thing, really, and more of a need to please those I loved the most. As I grew tho, it became more of a desire to give myself totally to someone who would accept me for what I was, and let me explore sides of myself that were for the most part, unexplored.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

It is a refrain one will here from many of us, I suppose.

"I always knew I was this way"

I just didn't know what "this way" was. The label. I knew that my life as I knew it was changing...massively. Newly sober, newly divorced, I bugged out of Alaska, and headed for the lower 48, new computer in tow.

I wandered out on the 'net and found myself. At every site that I now quote to newbies that come here. Submissive. That was me. I could finally put a word to my *self*. It felt damn good.

Lit? Well, that came much later, along with Him.

~anelize

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I got into BDSM activities without knowing that they WERE BDSMish. I just enjoyed what my ex got me involved in.. rough sex, being spanked, being told what to do, things like that. Then I came here, some time after that, and I began understanding that side of myself, through much reading. I realized it's a part of my life that HAS to exist and be satisfied... and my Man has finally come around, and we're exploring the lifestyle together.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I had my earliest fantasies in the BDSM realm in early childhood, pre double figure age, nad before I knew what sex was or that it existed. Needless to say, I became very secretive about the hidden feelings, confused, and convinced I had a bad person deep inside me. Life continued, I read 'The Story of O'when I was aroiund 16 and knew this was the life I had been dreaming of all my life, but still had no clue if or where it existed in reality. I met the occasional person who lightly experimented, but all were basically the vanilla animal in search of a little kink only.

Then after many years of sexual experimentation to the fullest, marriage, children, divorce, only resulting in more frustration and the feeling something was seriously missing, I discovered the internet. Initially I was snowed under with study issues, but found time to sign up for some internet pals similar to the penpal habits of my life. I found someone very special who I connected to in a way I was not expecting. He was a Dominant, and became my mentor, educating me, guiding me, answering my questions, giving me some direction that would eventually fulfil my desires.

He is the one responsible for my search, and my finding Master. We are still friends, and I owe him so much for helping me open the right door to the rest of my life, keeping me focused on the final goal. There is never a moment I am not overwhelmed by the thought of how much I would have possibly missed if our paths had never crossed. It reinforced my belief that everything happens for a reason, no matter how obscure that purpose may be at the time.

Catalina

And I agree with ADR this would be great in the Talk forum.

 

[landcruisergal]

One of my primal pubescent fantasies was that classic Norse rape/ pillage/ plunder scenario. Smoke-fire-screams.I have improved on the visualisation over the years too.Always had a tendency to go for 'bad boys', sex with that edge of danger, of either discovery, with a dangerous guy, or just plain rough play. Then I started reading erotica and leant towards those with a bdsm bent. I got some piercings and liked the pain involved and the body mod scene, from there to goth/fetish art and writing.I was lurking in a body art chat room and this man asked me to check his profile..I dont usually chat to locals but he piqued my curiosity. an invite to explore.What can I say, I put on my hiking boots, packed my backpack and disappeared into the jungle......
( we really just started with a coffee in a cafe)

 

[spankableBelle]

About 4 years ago, i asked some friends in the Lit chatroom why she was 'kneeling' and calling him Master and why he was calling her 'pet' and why there seemed to be a whole different dynamic that set them apart from the other 'couples', why i was drawn to them and their ways, why i felt envious of her subservience and his dominance...they sent me to read at castlerealm and BAM! (Emerlized) i read and read and read and sat back and said...'hey, that's me!' and i knew i'd found 'home'...and now, years later, i've found my Him...~smiles~

belle

 

[esclave_PP]

I started with a whack, literally lol. I was dating this man for a bit, when I was 18, we went out to a New Years party, got back to my place, and we were in the living room. He had always hinted at kinky things and we did a blindfold now and then or some play cuffs, which I adored, I always loved being submissive, just didn't know HOW much giggles. In any case, we're in my living room and he comes up behind me whacks my bottom hard puts his hand on my shoulders and said, "Undress, get on your knees and kneel, bitch." Wow, I was like oh wow oh wow oh wow and just smiled...and did it, He was my first Master. Been in the lifestyle ever since.

 

[bunny bondage]

This is why I was against the cafe idea and still am.

This is a thread that should be on the front page. And the thread about someone's halloween pictures belongs in here.

But who am I to stand in the way of progress?

yes, i accidently posted my thread in the wrong forum. MissT already pm'ed me about it. it will be moved. as for this thread, we all found it without any trouble.

 

[A Desert Rose]

yes, i accidently posted my thread in the wrong forum. MissT already pm'ed me about it. it will be moved. as for this thread, we all found it without any trouble.

And my point again, since you don't seem to get it, is...

If there was only one forum, there would be no issue in this.

 

[bunny bondage]

I started with a whack, literally lol. I was dating this man for a bit, when I was 18, we went out to a New Years party, got back to my place, and we were in the living room. He had always hinted at kinky things and we did a blindfold now and then or some play cuffs, which I adored, I always loved being submissive, just didn't know HOW much giggles. In any case, we're in my living room and he comes up behind me whacks my bottom hard puts his hand on my shoulders and said, "Undress, get on your knees and kneel, bitch." Wow, I was like oh wow oh wow oh wow and just smiled...and did it, He was my first Master. Been in the lifestyle ever since.

what a fairy tale beginning! that's so sweet!

 

[Kajira Callista]

Got involved in the kinky sex type stuff in my teens...but always knew its where i would fit. The movie 9 1/2 weeks kinda let me see i wasnt the only one in the world who liked this stuff. I remember all my friends saying how horrible he was to her and how i was sitting there giggling and saying to myself...well gosh there ya go thats how its supposed to feel, what is wrong with these girls...this is wonderful.
Then at 21 i met this man...and from the first second our eyes came in contact i knew i was his. He taught me that i didnt need to put myself in danger or lower myself to be who i was. That there were safe ways and people who actually accepted what i was. I was owned by him for 6 years, and in those 6 years i learned more from him then i could ever imagine i would in a lifetime. There is more...but i dont wanna clog up the thread lol

 

[esclave_PP]

Thanks Bunny! It started out okay but if you read my thread on MsT's disappointments thread this same man became horribly addicted to cocaine and I had to pretty much beg release and flee for my own safety. Was really sad. But, before he got hooked I learned an awful lot and also really grew to love the lifestyle.

 

[lilredwolph]

a hard elbow to the jaw

this story is going to loose something by me typing it instead of telling it but oh well...

i was at my boyfriends house and we were in the basement which was used as a TV room. we were messing around and for some reason he was sitting between my legs with his back to me (who knows what we were doing we were 14 and clueless) the stairs coming down to the basement were behind me. there was a noise he spun around to look at the stairs thinking his parents were home, and caught me square in the jaw with a hard sharp elbow, i shook, quaked and left a wet spot. shocked and big eyed i sat there with him just gawking at me in total disdain and horror when he said "you did not?", "ummmm, yeah i did" to which he followed with "your fucked up". well his parents weren't home it was the dog but we got dressed anyway because being told i was fucked up kinda killed the mood (plus i got off so what did i care).
well a day or 2 later he decided to put this little discovery thru a test. he tied me to his weight bench (again in the basement) and he was sexually teasing me for about 30 minutes and all of a sudden he back handed me acrossed the face, and once again i shook, quaked and left a wet spot. he told me i was a freak and ended our relationship right than and there.
a couple weeks later i was talking to an older male friend of mine and he asked me why D and i had broke up, and after i beat around the bush for awhile i finally just told him and waited for him to tell me i was a freak... he became my Top for the next 3 yrs

 

[ghosst_K&H]

The first time I saw Julie Newmar tie up Adam West and try to kill him... seriously, ever since I was a young lad, I've had a thing for femme fatailes