what should i do ?

[SIC]

Hey all, I havent been around for a couple month so hello to all the ppl that remeber me.

Now i am ready to meet another girl and getting into a light relationship if you understand what i mean. I dont want it to be like my last one. I want this one to spend more time apart with my friends and stuff but at the same time have a girl to be with and to take out with my friends. But when i want to go out with the guys i dont want the whole song and dance and shit like that. Is it possible to be in this kinda realationship? I know at the start that the girl will be kool with it but as time goes by she will want to spend more and more time together thats what happen last time.

Now my problem is i have 3 girls that really like me and i am nice to them all but i keep abit to myself to keep them kinda of the chase. One of them i really like her as a person but the problem for me is that she isnt as pretty in the face as i would like. I really want to out do my ex g/f but she was really beautiful and smart and had all the good stuff but it just hasnt work out to this point. Now is it shallow for to say this? But would like to have somebody and this girls would like to be with me to.

It just seems like i want another beautiful girl. It weird in my family because if i bring a girl home my parents will be like you are carrying the looks in that realationship. I just want a beautiful girl and i meet alot of them but it seems like they just never work out. There is this one girl that i really really like and i dont know whats going on there i dont know if she is playing hard to get or what and i dont no what to do anymore and kinda just gave up. Should i keep on trying for what will really make me happy?

Or should i go for a girl that i find to be amazing person but just not pretty enough in the face for me. She has the not to skinny/skinny body type i like and the perfect hight and all that going for her. She is always asking in around about way if were are going to become more and i just dont awnser her. But i am not rude.

What should i do? or do any of you got advice for me ?

 

[crazybbwgirl]

All beautiful, skinny girls are hideous hags on the inside. Its gods punishment to them for being so beautiful on the outside!

"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife.
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you."

 

[Zergplex]

If it's that important for you look for the skinny, smart, and beautiful women. They are out there, I know a few of them ^_^() smart and beautiful are not in opposition, both can be found in the same person.

-Zergplex

 

[asenath]

I think you should wait till you're 18 before you post here.

 

[cloudy]

One of them i really like her as a person but the problem for me is that she isnt as pretty in the face as i would like. I really want to out do my ex g/f but she was really beautiful and smart and had all the good stuff but it just hasnt work out to this point. Now is it shallow for to say this? But would like to have somebody and this girls would like to be with me to.

Shallow? Yes, very.

Physical beauty fades, true beauty will only grow greater over time.

 

[SweetErika]

A good girlfriend or wife who loves you won't begrudge you for spending time with your friends (within reason). But that usually requires a real relationship, and it sounds like you don't want one of those.

If you're that concerned with physical appearance and sex, you should be looking for a trophy fuck buddy. But then you can't really expect her to do relationship things like meeting your parents or going out with your friends, unless she is one of your friends.

Your best bet is to wait for awhile and find a woman you're attracted to both mentally and physically and become friends with her. If she's interested, fool around, but don't have sex for awhile. Be honest with her about wanting to take it slow and share your concerns about not being able to spend time with your friends.

Regarding the girl who isn't pretty enough in the face, tell her you don't know what you want right now and you wouldn't want to hurt her, which is the truth. Chemistry is very important, but that usually comes from a mental connection, not a physical one. If you're that into finding a woman with a perfect face, body, brains, and a good heart, you'd better prepare yourself for a long search and wait. Not that they're not out there, but they usually don't go for guys who are primarily concerned with looks and sex.

 

[vargas111]

I think you should wait until you are old enough to spell and punctuate.

Relationships are much harder than writing properly.

 

[dollface007]

I'm going to keep my response short because, after reading your post, i think i might need to leave my computer to go VOMIT.

First of all, get over yourself.

After that, follow your heart. Don't think about it so much. However, you absolutely must be completely honest with anyone you are dating. If you just want to screw around, you have to be upfront about it. Otherwise, you'll just be one of those evil people that strings others along.

 

[SIC]

Alright well its not how you guys are taking it. You are all trying to make me sound like a bad person and thats not the truth. I was with my ex for 2 years and i loved her with my whole heart and it didnt work out so w/e. But now i want a good looking girl that doesnt feel like i have a backpack on all the time. Also i am not looking for a wife right now i am 20 if the right girl came along and we were together for years then i would think about getting married.

I just want a girlfriends that is willing to go for a adventure with my and not bitch the hole time. Like i want to go out to the mountains for a month or so and she has to be willing to let me go or come with. I dont want another tie down relationship.

The looks thing isnt what you are thinking. I wont go out with a fuckin smokin hot girl that doesnt have anything up stairs. It is all about sex because if i want to have sex with girl i could do it.

I just want a smart beautiful girl thats all. I want a pretty face to wake up to.

 

[Noor]

what do you plan to offer this pretty face to induce her to be in a shallow yet sleep-over relationship with you?

power, position, and/or money are the usual accepted means of attaining such a woman.

 

[hewolf]

other means

what do you plan to offer this pretty face to induce her to be in a shallow yet sleep-over relationship with you?

power, position, and/or money are the usual accepted means of attaining such a woman.

There are other means as well that generally work better than power position and/or money

 

[SweetErika]

Now i am ready to meet another girl and getting into a light relationship if you understand what i mean.

I want this one to spend more time apart with my friends and stuff but at the same time have a girl to be with and to take out with my friends. But when i want to go out with the guys i dont want the whole song and dance and shit like that. Is it possible to be in this kinda realationship? I know at the start that the girl will be kool with it but as time goes by she will want to spend more and more time together thats what happen last time.

Now my problem is i have 3 girls that really like me and i am nice to them all but i keep abit to myself to keep them kinda of the chase.

One of them i really like her as a person but the problem for me is that she isnt as pretty in the face as i would like.

I really want to out do my ex g/f but she was really beautiful and smart and had all the good stuff but it just hasnt work out to this point.

It just seems like i want another beautiful girl.

It weird in my family because if i bring a girl home my parents will be like you are carrying the looks in that realationship.

Or should i go for a girl that i find to be amazing person but just not pretty enough in the face for me. She has the not to skinny/skinny body type i like and the perfect hight and all that going for her. She is always asking in around about way if were are going to become more and i just dont awnser her. But i am not rude.

Ok, SIC, these are the quotes we're drawing on when we're saying it's shallow and you're kind of a player. For every one comment about personality or brains, you seem to have ten about image or looks. I'd venture to say most of us don't understand it well, but when you ask if you're shallow, what kind of replies do you expect to get?

What really strikes me is how hung up you seem to be on image...you feel you have to "outdo" your ex, impress your friends, and she has to be beautiful enough for your parents (umm...can we say BAD parents?). Simply put, quit worrying about what others think, and start living for yourself! You need to take some time out and work on your self-esteem issues before you break hearts.

Good luck to you, SIC!

 

[hewolf]

looks

I think Sweet Erika has a point here.

Make no mistake, looks are important, but are just one part out of many that make a person. So if you do not see beyond just looks, you are shortchanging yourself, and your prospective lovers.

Besides, as a practical matter, if you do not see beyond looks, you are unlikely to elicit beautiful women's interest. They get approached by men 10 times a day who are similarly excited by their beauty, so it
is old news to them. OTOH, if you are not overawed by their looks and will see and treat them as ordinary human beings, you will definitely stand out from the rest of competition.

 

[Noor]

Re: other means

There are other means as well that generally work better than power position and/or money

really? such as? He certainly can't demostrate his sexual prowless without having sex.

 

[Xartaan]

Hahahah im am rolling around on the floor laughing. I didnt know there were so many uglies and fatties posting here. Listen to them all : calling you shallow, making fun of beautiful wome, say all pretty thin girls are evil, and beauty fades. Dude, dont listen to them, everyone gets jealous from time to time.

First off, you litertotica Haters. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have been attracted to many women my friends thought were plain, or unnattractive, and I dont always approve of the women my friends are dating either.

Second, how dare you call him shallow. If you think someones looks shouldnt determine wether you date them you are either ugly, fat, both, or just plain uneducated. Why do I say this?

Real Simple : If I am at a party, or a club, or a bar, or hell, a library...

The first thing you notice and the last thing you forget about the people you see during the day are their looks and how that makes you feel. Did they look hot, scary, sad... you will remember that long after you forget details.

Based on your first impression is how you determine if you want to meet this person. If you arent attracted to them physically, are you honestly going to go up and say hey ther, your ugly as sin, but I wanted to meet you just in case you have a charming personality? BULLSHIT! You dont even consider it, your brain files them away in the "not attracted to" folder and you go about your day.

That was a long post, but you imature people need to get off your high horses and stop calling this guy out. All he wanted was some help, not a mob of "Victims of the Ugly-Stick" yelling at him because he wants to date someone attractive.

 

[Zergplex]

Hahahah im am rolling around on the floor laughing. I didnt know there were so many uglies and fatties posting here. Listen to them all : calling you shallow, making fun of beautiful wome, say all pretty thin girls are evil, and beauty fades. Dude, dont listen to them, everyone gets jealous from time to time.

First off, you litertotica Haters. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have been attracted to many women my friends thought were plain, or unnattractive, and I dont always approve of the women my friends are dating either.

Second, how dare you call him shallow. If you think someones looks shouldnt determine wether you date them you are either ugly, fat, both, or just plain uneducated. Why do I say this?

Real Simple : If I am at a party, or a club, or a bar, or hell, a library...

The first thing you notice and the last thing you forget about the people you see during the day are their looks and how that makes you feel. Did they look hot, scary, sad... you will remember that long after you forget details.

Based on your first impression is how you determine if you want to meet this person. If you arent attracted to them physically, are you honestly going to go up and say hey ther, your ugly as sin, but I wanted to meet you just in case you have a charming personality? BULLSHIT! You dont even consider it, your brain files them away in the "not attracted to" folder and you go about your day.

That was a long post, but you imature people need to get off your high horses and stop calling this guy out. All he wanted was some help, not a mob of "Victims of the Ugly-Stick" yelling at him because he wants to date someone attractive.

If your saying Noor, Erika, or CBBW are 'victems of the ugly stick' then I feel very very bad for you, because you have one skewed appreciation for beauty.

So for us calling the poster shallow there is a very simple reason, the post WAS shallow. Yes looks and standards are important but if thats all your looking for then your life is VERY shallow. Notice that other then one or two posters we really didn't 'pass judgement' on him but gave advice, some of it quite good. When 95% of the people responding to your thread call you shallow there might be a reason ^_^()

Try reading the thread, then you might be able to make some really insulting comments rather then the drivel you just spouted off.

-Zergplex

 

[hewolf]

Re: Re: other means

really? such as? He certainly can't demostrate his sexual prowless without having sex.

Noor,

take a look at your own life- have you only been attracted to men who had wealth,fame, or power?

Or would you like me to go into more detail on that?

HW

 

[tendril]

A good girlfriend or wife who loves you won't begrudge you for spending time with your friends (within reason). But that usually requires a real relationship, and it sounds like you don't want one of those.

If you're that concerned with physical appearance and sex, you should be looking for a trophy fuck buddy. But then you can't really expect her to do relationship things like meeting your parents or going out with your friends, unless she is one of your friends.

Your best bet is to wait for awhile and find a woman you're attracted to both mentally and physically and become friends with her. If she's interested, fool around, but don't have sex for awhile. Be honest with her about wanting to take it slow and share your concerns about not being able to spend time with your friends.

Regarding the girl who isn't pretty enough in the face, tell her you don't know what you want right now and you wouldn't want to hurt her, which is the truth. Chemistry is very important, but that usually comes from a mental connection, not a physical one. If you're that into finding a woman with a perfect face, body, brains, and a good heart, you'd better prepare yourself for a long search and wait. Not that they're not out there, but they usually don't go for guys who are primarily concerned with looks and sex.

Good advice.

It's immaterial whether your preference for good looks is shallow or not.

If you are attracted to only beautiful women then so be it. The only problem I can see is if you're the frog prince.

 

[SweetErika]

Hahahah im am rolling around on the floor laughing. I didnt know there were so many uglies and fatties posting here. Listen to them all : calling you shallow, making fun of beautiful wome, say all pretty thin girls are evil, and beauty fades. Dude, dont listen to them, everyone gets jealous from time to time.

First off, you litertotica Haters. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have been attracted to many women my friends thought were plain, or unnattractive, and I dont always approve of the women my friends are dating either.

Second, how dare you call him shallow. If you think someones looks shouldnt determine wether you date them you are either ugly, fat, both, or just plain uneducated. Why do I say this?

Real Simple : If I am at a party, or a club, or a bar, or hell, a library...

The first thing you notice and the last thing you forget about the people you see during the day are their looks and how that makes you feel. Did they look hot, scary, sad... you will remember that long after you forget details.

Based on your first impression is how you determine if you want to meet this person. If you arent attracted to them physically, are you honestly going to go up and say hey ther, your ugly as sin, but I wanted to meet you just in case you have a charming personality? BULLSHIT! You dont even consider it, your brain files them away in the "not attracted to" folder and you go about your day.

That was a long post, but you imature people need to get off your high horses and stop calling this guy out. All he wanted was some help, not a mob of "Victims of the Ugly-Stick" yelling at him because he wants to date someone attractive.

Uncalled for and pathetic. Take care in insulting people, especially for being immature, when you're all of 20, haven't contributed to this community, and just made the most immature post I have ever seen on Lit. Before you insult our appearances, post your picture up so we can give you our honest first impressions. All of us can judge based on appearance, it's just that most of us choose not to...we know better than that at this point in our lives. But we'll make an exception, just for you, ok?

SIC has asked for a lot of advice here. He's a member of the community, and is always respectful. We like him and want to help...that's why we take the time to respond to his questions and give him advice BASED ON EXPERIENCE.

 

[SIC]

Ok everyone i dont think anyone is really understanding what i am saying.

There have been alot of good points made here like:

Xartaan: "If you arent attracted to them physically, are you honestly going to go up and say hey ther, your ugly as sin, but I wanted to meet you just in case you have a charming personality? BULLSHIT!"

Like really you will never go up to a girl that is not attractive to you. At first it always starts with looks and then you go from there and find out what kinda person they are.

SweetErika : "Ok, SIC, these are the quotes we're drawing on when we're saying it's shallow and you're kind of a player. For every one comment about personality or brains, you seem to have ten about image or looks. I'd venture to say most of us don't understand it well, but when you ask if you're shallow, what kind of replies do you expect to get?"

Its not all about looks after you get into a relationship but at first yes i do want a beautiful girl and if she turns out to be a "bitch" and all about her looks then i woulddt want to be with her.

I guess what i really want is to find a beautiful girl on the outside but on the inside she has to be an amazing person and kind to me and my family but where do i find this person?

SweetErika: "(umm...can we say BAD parents?). "

I am sry but i dont want you to ever say anything about my parents again. You dont know who they are and this is toldally uncalled for. My mom is the most amazing person in the world and would help anybody out. She tought me that there is more then just looks and all that. But i dont want to hear anybody ever say anything about my parents again case closed.

I guess i cant really explain what i want to tell you the truth.

But i GTG

 

[dollface007]

Hahahah im am rolling around on the floor laughing. I didnt know there were so many uglies and fatties posting here. Listen to them all : calling you shallow, making fun of beautiful wome, say all pretty thin girls are evil, and beauty fades. Dude, dont listen to them, everyone gets jealous from time to time.

First off, you litertotica Haters. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have been attracted to many women my friends thought were plain, or unnattractive, and I dont always approve of the women my friends are dating either.

Second, how dare you call him shallow. If you think someones looks shouldnt determine wether you date them you are either ugly, fat, both, or just plain uneducated. Why do I say this?

Real Simple : If I am at a party, or a club, or a bar, or hell, a library...

The first thing you notice and the last thing you forget about the people you see during the day are their looks and how that makes you feel. Did they look hot, scary, sad... you will remember that long after you forget details.

Based on your first impression is how you determine if you want to meet this person. If you arent attracted to them physically, are you honestly going to go up and say hey ther, your ugly as sin, but I wanted to meet you just in case you have a charming personality? BULLSHIT! You dont even consider it, your brain files them away in the "not attracted to" folder and you go about your day.

That was a long post, but you imature people need to get off your high horses and stop calling this guy out. All he wanted was some help, not a mob of "Victims of the Ugly-Stick" yelling at him because he wants to date someone attractive.

Alright asshole...let's see your picture. I'm not ugly, nor fat. Nor does the belief that personality should be judged before appearance imply that the person holding that belief is ugly or fat. I gave SIC my honest reaction and I will not apologize for it. Nobody here is saying that looks don't matter and that SIC should date somebody who he finds physically repulsive. After reading a lot of his posts, I know that SIC is a good guy and has his heart in the right place. YOU, however, do not. You have to earn respect around here, and you've just blown your chance.

I really doubt that people here with hundreds or THOUSANDS of posts could be called "literotica haters." Who the hell do you think you are?

Sorry for the OT post, SIC.

 

[SweetErika]

SweetErika: "(umm...can we say BAD parents?). "

I am sry but i dont want you to every say anything about me parents again. You dont know how they are and this is toldally uncalled for. I mom is the most amazing person in the world and would help anybody out. She teached me that there is more then just looks and all that. But i dont want to hear anybody ever say anything about my parents again case close.

If I misunderstood your comment to mean your parents imply some of the women you bring home are not pretty enough for you, I apologize SIC. My only intention was to point out that people who make that kind of judgment shouldn't factor into your decision of who to date, not to be hurtful or mean. I should have phrased it differently.

You're right in calling me on the judgment I made though, and I appreciate it. Thank you, and I'm sorry.

 

[SIC]

Hey SweetErika and doolface007 I do have alot of respect for you as well and i am thankful that you guys think i am a good guy and my heart is in the right place.

I dont want anybody to think i am shallow i have help out alot of ppl in the past by getting them back on there feet and what not. Its also not all about looks i know this.

SweetErika: "If I misunderstood your comment to mean your parents imply some of the women you bring home are not pretty enough for you, I apologize SIC. My only intention was to point out that people who make that kind of judgment shouldn't factor into your decision of who to date, not to be hurtful or mean. I should have phrased it differently.

You're right in calling me on the judgment I made though, and I appreciate it. Thank you, and I'm sorry."

Like they dont say it like that they have made comments in the past but that doesnt change my opion on the person. Like With my EX my mom didnt really like her because of some of the stuff she had done to other guys. But after time my mom and her were inseprable they did lots of stuff together like go for the weekend shopping to the U.S or just watch movies together and all kindas of stuff like that.

Also i knew that you didnt mean it like that but i just dont let anybody talk shit about my parents and i dont think anybody should lets anybody "DOG" other ppls parents.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[psyche]

When you are in love with someone, their looks are not important. I have been in many relationships and when I love someone I grow to love the way they look. Beauty fades but the person inside remains constant............looks are not important, it's how you feel about someone and the qualities that they have that draw you to them in the first place........