Well, just a small update. My girlfriend called my father and told him. He called me and told me what she said, I hung up on him and called my ex. I'm in so much pain, I can't believe what I did, I can barely type this without crying. I just feel like dying now, I can't even express what I'm feeling. I don't know anymore, I don't know.
What should I do?
- Thread starter Astrum
- Start date
Bobmi357
Knit one, Perl two...
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2003
- Posts
- 2,529
Oh man what a hot potato this thread has turned out to be.
If you snoop through someone else's email you might learn things they would wish you don't learn. What would have done had you stumbled onto an email to her gay lover? Or one complaining that you were a lousy lover?
If you were married or even living together it might be a little more acceptable, but you need to learn to respect the privacy rights of people. Especially one that you were not seeing, were not involved in at the time. So she had a fling a month and a half after you broke up, so what? She didn't break up with you with the intention of remaining chaste or joining a convent.
The real problem here is, in my mind at least, that you CANNOT REMAIN FRIENDS WITH THIS GIRL. It is far too painful to you, it is rubbing salt in an open wound. The longer you continue to remain friends with her, the crappier you are going to feel and will not be able to get on with your life.
You have two options as I see it. You can (a) stay friends and maybe drive yourself into a suicidal depression because of it, or (b) cut her off entirely and start the process of rebuilding your self esteem and life.
If I were you, I'd resort to email once again. I would email her telling her that for your own sake you cannot have anything to do with her anymore. Tell her that she should not email, not call, please leave your family out of this etc. In other words, cut off all contact. Wish her good luck and a happy life etc. Next go out and get yourself a really good drunk, you deserve it, then tomorrow its time for you to pull yourself up and start standing tall again.
If you snoop through someone else's email you might learn things they would wish you don't learn. What would have done had you stumbled onto an email to her gay lover? Or one complaining that you were a lousy lover?
If you were married or even living together it might be a little more acceptable, but you need to learn to respect the privacy rights of people. Especially one that you were not seeing, were not involved in at the time. So she had a fling a month and a half after you broke up, so what? She didn't break up with you with the intention of remaining chaste or joining a convent.
The real problem here is, in my mind at least, that you CANNOT REMAIN FRIENDS WITH THIS GIRL. It is far too painful to you, it is rubbing salt in an open wound. The longer you continue to remain friends with her, the crappier you are going to feel and will not be able to get on with your life.
You have two options as I see it. You can (a) stay friends and maybe drive yourself into a suicidal depression because of it, or (b) cut her off entirely and start the process of rebuilding your self esteem and life.
If I were you, I'd resort to email once again. I would email her telling her that for your own sake you cannot have anything to do with her anymore. Tell her that she should not email, not call, please leave your family out of this etc. In other words, cut off all contact. Wish her good luck and a happy life etc. Next go out and get yourself a really good drunk, you deserve it, then tomorrow its time for you to pull yourself up and start standing tall again.
Lynnezertorte
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2004
- Posts
- 190
Wulf7 said:She called your old man..oookay..So are we in kindergarten now..tattle telling?
I agree with Bobmi. Move on and drop all contact with her. You made a mistake, live and learn.
I agree with Wulf......You made a mistake.....it's what we do as human's. It may feel like the end of the world today but as they say "time heals all wounds".
Our lives shoul be about "living, hopefully learning and then moving on".
You read an email, so what. And although it wasn't the smartest move you could have made it certainly wasn't the worst thing in the world.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, an move on with your life.
Noor
Citizen of the World
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
- Posts
- 33,045
Astrum said:
Ok, you did it, you told her, you apoligized. I am sure you told both her and your dad that it will never happen again. If not, write them both and tell them. Then write everything you feel about this to get it out of your system and burn it, let the bad feelings go up in smoke.
Everyone does stuff at some point that they know they shouldn't have, sometimes they know when they are doing it, sometimes only in hind sight.
I wonder why you snooped after she was gone, maybe she was worried and that is why she told your dad, but it doesn't matter. What matters is you need to accept and forgive yourself then move on.
This is not something that is going to matter 10 yrs from now unless you let it.
So dry your tears and find a new life without her, you are young, there are many more women in the world for you to meet, get out there and meet some. maybe they won't be the right one at first, but they could introduce you to someone who is. Stop feeling bad, start circulating, and have some fun.
Noor, who knows this is all easier said then done but sometimes just going through the motions will start the renewal process.
Similar threads
