What should a sub do during session?

[Dana25]

Hi,
I'm 25 F and I'm new to all this BDSM stuff.
Can you please help me understand - as a sub, what should I do during a session beside just lay there let him guide me? how can I make my dom (I don't have one) pleasure?

 

[LWulf]

By doing exactly what you are asked to do (and that you are willing to do). You shouldn't have to "know" what to do to pleasure them. Nobody expects you to have telepathy (though some might act like it).

For instance
"Yes, ...what???"
"Yes, Sir/Ma'am/Miss!"

That should be the limit of telepathy.

edit 2: though some brats here might give you more concise directions on how to push buttons to egg on if more punishments are your goal.

for instance:
"Yes, ...what???"
"Yes, Ma'am/Miss/Sir!"
"I am not a female/male, I am a male/female, and you are so going to get it now!"

Besides, it's not fair to give you answers that would stop you from squirming. Making a submissive squirm, is one of the perks of being a dominant. heh


edit: ...and WE know some of you like to squirm. We know who you are, and we ARE watching you!!.

 

[Dana25]

But if I want to give my dom some pleasure? to show him how much I want him? to worship him.

 

[LWulf]

Then he/she will tell you what to do, or you can ask them. Don't try to second guess a dominant. That's a good way to get on their bad side.

All dominants are different, after all. One's dominant's pleasure is another dominant's worst headache.

 

[CutieMouse]

The best person to discuss this with, is your partner. And every partner may want/need different things.

If you're looking for sexual service ideas, work on your oral skills, learn erotic massage, take a pole dancing class, study yoga (for flexibility) or tantric sex.

If you're interested in making his life easier, talk to him about what would accomplish that. Running errands? Meal prep? Bookkeeping? Housework? Grocery shopping? Studying subjects he's interested in? Keeping abreast of current events? Organizing?

 

[spellslave]

Generally the 'what's are negotiated before the D/s dynamic actually starts, so then everyone is aware of what their roles are and what is expected before, during and after a session. Some Dom's prefer slaves/submissives to actively initiate say, oral sex or body worship. Some, prefer for the s-partner to be completely still until and only when they order them. Sit them down, not even necessarily in a D/S setting, and discuss this out properly so then you're all openly communicating and aware.

 

[babslovesherdaddy]

Personally, I do what I'm told. And try very hard not to stop what I am enjoying just because it's painful, if that makes any sense. Sometimes my reflexes betray me.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Hi,
I'm 25 F and I'm new to all this BDSM stuff.
Can you please help me understand - as a sub, what should I do during a session beside just lay there let him guide me? how can I make my dom (I don't have one) pleasure?

You've been given good advice. Want to give me pleasure? Do household chores before I have to tell you it needs to be done.

Give my gal Tori pleasure? Fix her coffee in the morning.

Give my buddy SirStudly pleasure? Be able to suck like a Hoover, and be bisexual so he can do Mff scenes...

Give my friend Lightning pleasure? Do a triple penetration with the other 2 guys he brings in for a small fMMMgang bang... This week. Next week you might be pulling a 10 or 20 guy train...

Are you beginning to understand?

If you ask random strangers on the internet questions about the preferences of some imaginary, potential partner, you can expect entirely random, and quite possibly utterly irrelevant to that partner answers, when they become a reality.

The best thing you can do in the meantime is learn what pleases YOU, learn what turns YOU on, and learn what you are, and are NOT, willing to do so you can clearly communicate your own wants, needs, desires, and BOUNDARIES.

You don't want to hook up with a guy and tell him "I'll do anything for you." and then try to back out when he pulls out the scalpel and announces that he wants to cut his initials into your flesh.

Know what YOUR limits are before you say "yes" to anything. Those limits may change as trust is established and you take the time to come to know how your partner thinks and what his or her needs and desires are.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Very well stated, Geoff.

 

[MagnificentCensorship]

You've been given good advice. Want to give me pleasure? Do household chores before I have to tell you it needs to be done.

Give my gal Tori pleasure? Fix her coffee in the morning.

Give my buddy SirStudly pleasure? Be able to suck like a Hoover, and be bisexual so he can do Mff scenes...

Give my friend Lightning pleasure? Do a triple penetration with the other 2 guys he brings in for a small fMMMgang bang... This week. Next week you might be pulling a 10 or 20 guy train...

Are you beginning to understand?

If you ask random strangers on the internet questions about the preferences of some imaginary, potential partner, you can expect entirely random, and quite possibly utterly irrelevant to that partner answers, when they become a reality.

The best thing you can do in the meantime is learn what pleases YOU, learn what turns YOU on, and learn what you are, and are NOT, willing to do so you can clearly communicate your own wants, needs, desires, and BOUNDARIES.

You don't want to hook up with a guy and tell him "I'll do anything for you." and then try to back out when he pulls out the scalpel and announces that he wants to cut his initials into your flesh.

Know what YOUR limits are before you say "yes" to anything. Those limits may change as trust is established and you take the time to come to know how your partner thinks and what his or her needs and desires are.

You have some fun friends.

 

[JorjaRayne]

Well said Geoff. =)