What positive side effect came from your experience with BDSM?

[snoozebutton]

I for one have had such a freeing experience with My body. I would louge naked all the time if practical. Besides that I notice that now I always look a lady in the eyes. I want to see her reactions that her eyes show Me as I interact with her. Be it a total stranger or someone I've always known. Just curious to others benefits from their experiences.

 

[lark sparrow]

Good Question - A few.

How to begin to compromise and negotiate in more positive, productive ways - learning and even enjoying a bit of humility, better at staying away from those death before "dishonor" power struggles. How to trust and create boundaries more effectively. There's so many ways that it taps into "life lessons" as will anything that moves and stretches one.

It's also been amazing to open the world of sensation - physical, psychological and emotional - delving into and exploring beyond the given "good" - and coming out the other side with expanded definitions of pleasure and satisfaction.

 

[snoozebutton]

Ahhhhh sensations now there is subject that raises the eyebrows .

 

[aerofreak]

My biggest benifit has been that I openly (well, kind of - it's not a public thing... yet) acknowledge My Domme-ness (is that a word??). I has been a huge boost to My self-confidence to finally know what I am and what I want. I am no longer in denial of My nature, and as corney as it may sound, I am soo much happier now that I have admitted it.

 

[bunny bondage]

probably the most largely felt benifit of my bdsm nature is my ability to deal with other everyday situations. it's how i talk my way out of traffic tickets, how i interview for jobs, how i act toward strangers, it's that sense of understanding exaxtly what the other person wants from me and being able to comply while maintaining a sense of control. i'm the only one playing the game, they don't even know the rules.

 

[UCE]

I was finally able to orgasm with a partner?

 

[dragonlace]

i totally agree with the freeness that one feels when they let go of the inhibitions and fear in turn allowing themselves to truely feel and be without anything holding them back. Its kinda funny that i feel freer as a sub than i have ever felt before in my life. Sometimes giving control to another is the most freeing experience of all *smiles*.

lace

 

[MissTaken]

I have learned to communicate clearly in a relationship and that my needs are important.

 

[snoozebutton]

It's nice to see all the positives the lifestyle bring to Myself and O/others.

 

[lark sparrow]

It's nice to see all the positives the lifestyle bring to Myself and O/others.

I do hope you've looked over the Christmas Wish List thread, as we have lots of requests from excited, eager perverts - some naughty, some nice.

lark "what happened to your pants, Santa?" sparrow

 

[RisiaSkye]

BDSM negotiation has been very good for my ability to communicate with my partner, without all that built-in fear of going against social expectations and the other bags of shit we're handed whether we want them or not.

 

[Desdemona]

I have learned the importance of honesty and trust. I've learned that my limits are self imposed and can be pushed if done carefully. I've learned to share in ways that I never before thought were possible. I've had fantasies fulfilled and learned that I'm not sick or twisted because I enjoy certain activities. This lifestyle has been good for me in many ways.

 

[sluttygirl4u22]

for me although i've known of my submissive nature for years i always put it aside and hid it, well i still hide it from most people but now i am accepting of myself. i realise that 'nilla sex just doesn't do it for me and i need more. so along with self discovery also came freedom. i walk around naked whenever i can now, with the blinds open, i never would have thought i would do that before but i figure if anyone wants to look in, or people across the way want to take out binnoculars (my old roommate used to do that to see what the neighbours were doing) then if they can't handle what they see they better not look again. it makes me a little wet thinking someone can see me, ok more than a little

 

[WriterDom]

It gave me more freedom to please, which sounds funny coming from a Dom, but most of my early fantasies were about pleasing. Someone once asked what is in it for the Dom, well, any needs I have are met, but the biggest turn on is turning her into a quivering mess.

 

[pierced_boy]

So much

But here are a few bits

I found great relief in submission, a coming home type experience.

I found great fulfillment and empowerment in dominance being given the gift of submission and the responsiblity for outcomes

I found romance is enhanced no matter which way the play is headed. And not just when we play but all the time.

I felt relief at being accepted and understood.

I found more sensations than I ever dreamed about

I found many more fantasies

h

 

[Marquis]

I found the absolute best sex I ever thought possible. The sex I have had during a really good scene has been at least 10 times better than the best 'nilla sex I ever had.

 

[kayte]

SB Sir ~ What a wonderful thread You have started. I have learned much about myself that was always there, but I didn't acknowledge. That has engendered such a sense of freedom and completeness. I learned how powerful letting go is. I have found what pure joy is to be found in how and what I feel and how I can enjoy myself and my body.

I have learned how important honesty, communication, trust and respect are. Communication, explaining things is still a bit of a stretch, but there is always something to work on and something to learn.

I have met and made so many friends, online and in real life.

 

[snoozebutton]

Santa only needs clothes for those homes with little kiddies, being filled with the happiness of the Christmas spirit is all the warmth He needs. As to My true Christmas wish it would be the replacement of pantyhose with stockings everywhere .

 

[NemoAlia]

snoozebutton! How lovely to see you!

Hmm... my greatest benefit from being involved in D/s has probably been patience, although my boyfriend would laugh if he heard me say it. Okay, so it might not be the most visible sort of change, but I feel like I'm more patient, anyway. Meditation is definitely becoming easier, as is orgasm with a partner.

 

[snoozebutton]

Why thank you for the welcome.

 

[redelicious]

Hi SB

Hmmm...

I think learning about my submissiveness has helped me understand more about my nature in general. I am fairly strong and independant. I had to ask myself WHY do I want this, what is it about me that NEEDS this?

I think I am restating what someone else said, but having enough trust in someone to completely let go of control is such a liberating experience. Sounds crazy but it's so true.

 

[TantaLiza]

I must admit that the most revealing thing I've learned thru D/s is that I can give up control and still survive...

I've also learned how to be more comfortable with my body and being naked around Him...I even want to be....

The whole experience has been quite satisfying and look forward to learning more everyday thru experience and research.... He makes it easy...

I'm going to make a special effort to thank Him more for taking me where He understand that I need to go....

Liza

 

[snoozebutton]

Hmmmmmm a BDSM Nudist Colony: "Au La Natural Domly Arms"

 

[KingII]

this is a good one .....

A few years ago I watched a little tight assed bitch become a very good submissive over a period of a year and ahalf. Her nature went from a tense over stressed pain in the ass to a soft spoken person with a very pleasing sense of honest passion and intelligent sense of humor.

She changed from trying to be something that she thought she wanted to be ....... to what is to day.

How did this help me .....?

I watched her change and listened to how she felt ...... she explained her feelings as she went through her changes. And as she explained her awakening as they say in some web pages.

Her interest in BDSM brought out what she is today.......... a very confident person.

She admitted and fell into the submissive part of her personality with ease. But when she started to search for people to enjoy the ropes and chains, her ability to control situations until she felt comfortable really brought out the new girl we/I know today.

I enjoyed playing around alot with many aspects of Ds and BDSM but through my attraction to her I learned alot about submissives and those that offer themselves to others.

Although I cannot call her a real bitch today and mean it like I used to ...... I did get to spank her ass a few of times for her past sins, I just reminded her of them as we went opened a few doors together............ smile


L

 

[Desdemona]

The Domly Arms

Sign me up. I could use a vacation in the Domly Arms.