What now?

[MattS]

Hello all.
What do I do now? I am totally smitten with this girl I have been seeing for about 6 weeks. Everything was going along brilliantly until last week. We saw each other on Sunday, went great, then bang, something has happened. We talk all the time on the phone, but she doesn't seem to want to see me. She has started a new job where she has to study during her training, and she tells me that she has to get this and that done and I am too much of a distraction when I am there. Sounds awfully like a thanks but no thanks to me. She says she loves me ringing but hates me nagging her. I only nag her because I want to see her.
What the hell is a guy supposed to do?

Any advice?? As yet I have been unable to crack the female code to find out what she really means.

 

[Jaded Jayne]

Hello all.
What do I do now? I am totally smitten with this girl I have been seeing for about 6 weeks. Everything was going along brilliantly until last week. We saw each other on Sunday, went great, then bang, something has happened. We talk all the time on the phone, but she doesn't seem to want to see me. She has started a new job where she has to study during her training, and she tells me that she has to get this and that done and I am too much of a distraction when I am there. Sounds awfully like a thanks but no thanks to me. She says she loves me ringing but hates me nagging her. I only nag her because I want to see her.
What the hell is a guy supposed to do?

Any advice?? As yet I have been unable to crack the female code to find out what she really means.

Hi Matt.

That is so sweet that you feel smitten. It reads a little more like obsession, however. It sounds like you've had some fun together, you like each other, there may even be a little chemistry...this is an easy one.

We always want what we can't have. You are always available, always around. We like the chase, it's part of the mating game. You probably are distracting her. You even admit to nagging her. Who wants that? Take a day or two off from calling, seeing, following or stalking her. Every time you reach for that phone stop! Let her do what she has to do. It sounds like she is legitimately busy.

There's an old line I used to say when breaking up with a guy - "when the phone doesn't ring you'll know it's me not calling." In other words, let her wonder about you for a while. Back off. She's given you a hundred clues so far - and that's just in what I read.....

take a deep breath - and put that phone down. now.

 

[JennyRocks]

If she starts to feel like you're nagging her after 6 weeks be really careful or she will bolt.

 

[peachykeen]

Any advice?? As yet I have been unable to crack the female code to find out what she really means.

What she really means is "Leave me alone."

Painful for you to hear maybe, but pretty flippin' obvious.

 

[human_male]

You've been seeing her for six weeks but were you still in the getting-to-know-each-other phase? Coz women can be pretty fickle when they're just getting to know you. You probably did something, or didn't do something that may seem totally insignificant to us but was a huge big deal to her, and now she's done with you.

Your course of action is the same as if she's just sick of you pestering her. And that is, stop pestering her. Just ignore her in fact. If she then reaches out to you, fine. If not forget her and move on.

And keep in mind I'm giving you this advice as a guy who's had very very little experience with women.

 

[Noor]

Hello all.
What do I do now? I am totally smitten with this girl I have been seeing for about 6 weeks. Everything was going along brilliantly until last week. We saw each other on Sunday, went great, then bang, something has happened. We talk all the time on the phone, but she doesn't seem to want to see me. She has started a new job where she has to study during her training, and she tells me that she has to get this and that done and I am too much of a distraction when I am there. Sounds awfully like a thanks but no thanks to me. She says she loves me ringing but hates me nagging her. I only nag her because I want to see her.
What the hell is a guy supposed to do?

Any advice?? As yet I have been unable to crack the female code to find out what she really means.

It doesn't sound like you need a female code book, it sounds like you need to listen!!!!!!

It could be that you are too big of a distraction! She is still talking to you on the phone. She has a new job which is always hard, especially if there is serious training. If you really like her, back off and give her some space!

 

[Poussin]

.....

 

[MattS]

Thanks for the advice. Seems as though its an overwhelming vote to the leave her alone side. Although she was the one in the first few weeks always calling me, wanting me to go out with her, introducing me to all her friends and stuff.
It'll be hard advice to take, but I'll give it a shot and see how it goes.