What Makes You Stop?

[SEVERUSMAX]

I suppose I should add in that "I just don't like it" is a valid reason not to read a story. It might not be something you bother to analyze (the narrator's voice, word choice, sentence style, etc.) but you know it all the same.

A book I read recently called "The Little Guide To Your Well-Read Life" states that we should give ourselves permission not to read what doesn't appeal to us quickly, because there is so much GOOD writing (good being subjective) that we waste time reading what doesn't appeal to us just because we started it -- that readers should not feel forced to belong to the "clean plate" club.

Good point. Sometimes, you just don't like it.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

A book I read recently called "The Little Guide To Your Well-Read Life" states that we should give ourselves permission not to read what doesn't appeal to us quickly, because there is so much GOOD writing (good being subjective) that we waste time reading what doesn't appeal to us just because we started it -- that readers should not feel forced to belong to the "clean plate" club.

I must be ahead of my time. I have an fair number of books in my possession, and nearly all of them, good or not, have a bookmark somewhere within (not that I'll remember what's happened in the parts I've already read, or anything ).

Sadly, however, many of those books were good, just their reader was lazy or over-expectant.

Q_C

 

[minsue]

Much of what's already been said - 2nd person, lists of attributes, etc. Other issues I have are excessive homonyms (though I did once make it through an entire novel that used "should of" instead of "should've" the whole way through), huge yet somehow perky tits, and any description of sex that makes me stop and try to mentally picture the physical impossibilities of what's being described.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Gee, I'm embarrassed to place in such company! I mean they wrote in a foreign language and everything, poor little ole me just writes in English!

Thanks Rumpy!

Well, one out of three ain't bad. Batting .333 should get you into the baseball hall of fame.

Anthony Trollope (April 24, 1815 – December 6, 1882) was one of the most successful, prolific and respected English novelists of the Victorian era.

Pedantically yours,

Prof. Rumple Foreskin

 

[Norajane]

2 questions: what if the woman in question doesn't do anything about the guy at first, but it comes back to her mind and lingers for a while, until she finally decides to do something about it- after a failed marriage has ended? And how do you decide who is a wannabe stud?

Just curious. I had a story where a girl keeps that image of the cock in her mind for years. And another where she wants to do it with the guy, but not necessarily on the spot. Of course, both of these women were more on the sub side than the Dom, and were more libidinous than the average girl. Not exactly nymphos, but not prudish or sentimental by nature.

I'm talking about stories where she's not interested, but as soon as he whips the cock out, suddenly she's a horny slut and her pussy's all wet, like a Pavlovian response without context. Your stories sound like they have context, plot, and characters.

A wannabe stud is the Penthouse guy - of course those things never happened to him, but boy does he fantasize about it and in his fantasies, he's got women begging to spread their legs and suck his cock for no apparent reason. He's usually the guy who talks about how many times a week he goes to the gym and enumerates inches and cup sizes. You can often tell these guys by the impossible number of times he gets it up in one encounter.

 

[zeb1094]

Well, one out of three ain't bad. Batting .333 should get you into the baseball hall of fame.

Anthony Trollope (April 24, 1815 – December 6, 1882) was one of the most successful, prolific and respected English novelists of the Victorian era.

Pedantically yours,

Prof. Rumple Foreskin

That was in England, right? A foreign country to the U.S.? Just as I thought.

 

[Guest]

Is anyone else amazed by how accurately some people can measure just by looking? Or how many sex scenes include (invisible and unmentioned) tape measures and rulers as sex toys? (I actually remember a novel that used a tape measure as part of a seduction scene -- and never once mentioned a number).

 

[Guest]

2nd person if they dont know how to use it
super ultra perfect women
measurements as part of the story... describe them but dont tell me its ten inches long
when English is not the first language and it REALLY shows

 

[CharleyH]

That's funny. I tend to write letters in the first person, merely siting a second person in the process. And letter-form has a different appeal than prose written involving a second-person character. If someone writes a story in basic first or second person, the "you" is a reference to the reader. But a letter is addressed to a specific person, a character unseen in the writing, but characterized as an individual separate from the reader by the references made by the author. In short, letter-form involves us reading a person's words to another, not their words to us.

Q_C

Coming from a film/theatre background, I certainly appreciate what you say. I, myself write as you describe in letters. However, it would be an intriguing challenge to see if we (all AH writers/ posters ) could write a good (or best, although not required or expected) narrative in 2nd person without leaning on the 'letter format', no?

 

[Norajane]

2nd person if they dont know how to use it
super ultra perfect women
measurements as part of the story... describe them but dont tell me its ten inches long
when English is not the first language and it REALLY shows

I'm also turned off by the super ultra perfect women, and the men as well. Blah, blah, boring.

Most descriptions are a yawn unless they're part of the story, but the perfect people stories focus far too much on looks as a driver of the story rather than what's erotic. It's lazy writing.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I'm talking about stories where she's not interested, but as soon as he whips the cock out, suddenly she's a horny slut and her pussy's all wet, like a Pavlovian response without context. Your stories sound like they have context, plot, and characters.

A wannabe stud is the Penthouse guy - of course those things never happened to him, but boy does he fantasize about it and in his fantasies, he's got women begging to spread their legs and suck his cock for no apparent reason. He's usually the guy who talks about how many times a week he goes to the gym and enumerates inches and cup sizes. You can often tell these guys by the impossible number of times he gets it up in one encounter.

Reminds me of some of my older stories. They were mostly written in an internet cafe (though those are supposed to ban porn, this one winked at it), in a hurry, and from a fantasy perspective more than with credibility in mind (or at least when I was in rush). I have had to revise, edit, catch errors, and other stuff to some of my older shit (frankly an accurate description- they are basically stroke stories), when I haven't spilled a soda laughing at them.

I like to THINK that I have improved. I can definitely tell which of my older stories were written on Saturday (when I had more time to think about the material and be more realistic) and which ones were written in a rush. Even my best earlier work was inferior to what I have written more recently. I guess I could call it practice.

 

[Norajane]

Reminds me of some of my older stories. They were mostly written in an internet cafe (though those are supposed to ban porn, this one winked at it), in a hurry, and from a fantasy perspective more than with credibility in mind (or at least when I was in rush). I have had to revise, edit, catch errors, and other stuff to some of my older shit (frankly an accurate description- they are basically stroke stories), when I haven't spilled a soda laughing at them.

I like to THINK that I have improved. I can definitely tell which of my older stories were written on Saturday (when I had more time to think about the material and be more realistic) and which ones were written in a rush. Even my best earlier work was inferior to what I have written more recently. I guess I could call it practice.

There's nothing wrong with stroke stories; I like a lot of them. It's just the ones that are clearly written by someone who hasn't had much sex but his character is superstud/superslut, that tend to be unbelievable and bore the fuck out of me.

 

[elsol]

ElSol's Rules

Rule #1 -- Engage the Reader Immediately

Rule #2 -- Do Not Give The Reader an Excuse to Disengage Immediately


Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[BlackShanglan]

Just curious. I had a story where a girl keeps that image of the cock in her mind for years. And another where she wants to do it with the guy, but not necessarily on the spot. Of course, both of these women were more on the sub side than the Dom, and were more libidinous than the average girl. Not exactly nymphos, but not prudish or sentimental by nature.

Eh. I'm with the previous poster. The "magic cock" (or other body part) stories are a quick backclick for me. Humans really don't have that astonishingly wide a range of body parts; it's rare to see a single element of someone's body so remarkable that it motivates one strongly in the absence of any other attachment. I would actually find the years-long obsession more problematic rather than less; I can conceivably imagine that someone already on the edge of sexual tension might see a glimpse of a ready cock as an invitation and act on it, but I can't really imagine one individual cock having such remarkable appeal as to remain a subject of fascination for years. Possibly that's just me; I can't think of any person's genitals, male or female, that so fascinated me as to remain in my visual memory. Faces and whole body shapes tend to stick with me longer.

Backclicks for me:

"Laundry list" descriptions in which the author seems determined to list all physical attributes at once and get them over with. This is particularly true if the description uses numeric measurements; I can't backclick fast enough if it comes in the form of the central character gazing adoringly into a mirror and talking about his/her trim ass, tight body, working out, and looking less than his/her age.

The phrase "this is a true story" / "this really happened." Reality has a way of making people forget how to tell a good story.

Frequent spelling or grammatical errors.

Overblown, cliched descriptions - sapphire eyed elven maidens in emerald glades being at one with nature's children, etc.

Lengthy forwards filled with theoretically exotic names and lacking in any significant action: "It was the eight high moon of T'kara'klak, and Grobnock was polishing his ildwetch in anticipation of Parklefick's andlbryndle ceremony at the zenith." Please. Interest me with action and powerful psychological development and create the exotic feel of another world through concrete and intriguing detail, not silly names.



For what it's worth, there are thing that instantly engage me as well. The first and foremost is a powerful and interesting narrative voice. This is one of the many excellent qualities of rgraham's "Abyss"; one simply cannot put it down while that voice is still speaking. I think it is one of the single most important elements of writing; people will listen to damned near anything if the voice saying it is interesting enough. Just look at A Clockwork Orange if you doubt it; it's a brilliant example of how narrative voice can coax us into setting aside our most strenuous objections.

Shanglan

 

[AppleBiter]

Several things make me back-click. I guess I'm sort of picky that way. A few of them are:

1. A story that is just stupid and makes me either laugh or sigh in frustration after the first paragraph or two.

2. Measurements. Puh-leez.

3. A zillion lit pages. I'm not settling in for a day's worth of reading at my computer because A. it's uncomfortable and B. when I'm reading erotica, I'm doing it for a purpose and the quicker that purpose can be served, the better. (And the purpose isn't to read a great book. ) Call me an instant gratification junkie.

4. Stories with rampant spelling &/or grammar errors.

5. Tone. If a story has either a very pompous tone or a very unintelligent tone, I'm back-clicking like mad.

6. Once, I read a Group Sex story where this woman (who was a teacher) was being spanked at this little group party at a friend's house and she imagined one of her students standing in front of her masturbating. *wretch* It didn't say what grade she taught, but that was more than enough for me. OMG, that was awful. Suffice it to say, nasty surprises like that are instant back-clicks.

7. If a story goes overboard. I'm a fan of BDSM and Non-Con and once in a while, a story can go overboard for me and really kill the mood. It's hard to define what "overboard" is, but I know it when I see it. It's when the story stops being hot and starts making you feel bad for the characters.

8. Copious amounts of cum. Good Lord. No one cums 6 gallons.

9. Cheesy dialogue and/or cheesy discription. "Come here, big boy," she whispered. Or, "I shot my load all over her tits." Come on.

10. Stories that begin by telling me "this is a true story." *scoff*

I'm sure there are plenty more, but there you have the biggest back-click triggers for me.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Hah! bad dialogue. one of my favorite reasons to leave the room.

"OOOHHHHH FUCK MY PUSSY HARD I'M CUUUUUUMIIIIINGGGGG!" She screamd at the top of her lungs. "FUUUCK YEAH!" he hollered back "I'M CUMMING IN YOUR ASS BABY!!!"

and here's my real rant for the evening;
I'm trying hard to not take offense at a story that rely on stereotypes for characters- and marks that stereotype by a single stereotypical, wrongly pronounced word- as if "ju" for "you" is all that makes an asshole into a Mexican
... and of course the poor little terrified girl is a sweet blue eyed American...

And don't get me wrong, I've written a few mean fuckin' Latins, and several of them have menaced Gringas! But I wouldn't try it in a story of 500 words or less. There's no room for nuance. It reads a little ignorant. Or else I've lost my sense of humor, always a possibility...

I'm just saying, that's all

 

[3113]

\What is it that stops you?

Beyond all of the above (including categories that just don't interest me)?

Orange juice dialogue.

Hah. Haven't heard of that one, eh. Here's orange juice dialogue:

"Good morning, dear," he said kissing his wife.
"Hi, honey. Did you sleep well?" She loved sharing his cheer, especially on such a bright and sunny day!
"Had some weird dream, ha ha. I'll share them with you tonight." He winked.
"Would you like some orange juice?"
"Thanks. I'd love some!"

Have you opened your veins with a razor yet? I cannot tell you how many stories I see orange juice dialogue in--and how fast I'll click my way out of them. Hint: Just because it's real doesn't make it interesting or worth reading.

Essentially, anytime I feel the writer is "masterbating"--indulging themselves, wallowing in their writing or their characters, rather than trying to tell me a story--that's when I give up on it. And I'll do it fast and with no regrets. I haven't time to read everything, so capture me quick or I'm gone.

 

[3113]

Lengthy forwards filled with theoretically exotic names and lacking in any significant action: "It was the eight high moon of T'kara'klak, and Grobnock was polishing his ildwetch in anticipation of Parklefick's andlbryndle ceremony at the zenith." Please. Interest me with action and powerful psychological development and create the exotic feel of another world through concrete and intriguing detail, not silly names.

LOL! Kudos, Shanglan! That's one of my no-no's as well.

Ah, yes, the bane of bad fantasy stories. Drown 'em in silly words. That's when you know the author is more interested in the world they've spent years creating and living and "masterbating" in (my term for the kind of writing they're doing), than in telling you, the reader, a story.

Many is the fantasy book I've put back on the shelves that started like that. And if I run into any on lit, I'll click right out of them as well.

Oh, and one really personal "pet" peeve...BDSM stories where the girl is called "pet." I won't necessarily stop reading, and I've read a few that were good, but it's really starting to get on my nerves. Maybe it's because I'm not a sub myself and I'd probably do something nasty to any guy who called me that...but honestly...is that the ONLY, er, "pet" name BDSM can come up with for the female subs? It makes them immediately seem...dull. At least to me.

 

[Stella_Omega]

After Tolkien, any fantasy writer worth his salt had to have a glossary at the back of his book, or hide his head in shame...

 

[BlackShanglan]

Have you opened your veins with a razor yet? I cannot tell you how many stories I see orange juice dialogue in--and how fast I'll click my way out of them. Hint: Just because it's real doesn't make it interesting or worth reading.

Excellent description of the problem. Lord, yes, I recognized it as soon as I saw it. Gah!

Ah, yes, the bane of bad fantasy stories. Drown 'em in silly words. That's when you know the author is more interested in the world they've spent years creating and living and "masterbating" in (my term for the kind of writing they're doing), than in telling you, the reader, a story.

Amen. I really think that creating too much detail about the world is as bad as too little. I suppose it ties into the point above, really - the world becomes so real for the author that s/he forgets about telling a story and wallows about telling you every tiny detail of every object, person, race, god, season, ritual, religion, political dispute, and interior decorating style in the planet.

Focus. The key to detail is focus.

Shanglan

 

[3113]

After Tolkien, any fantasy writer worth his salt had to have a glossary at the back of his book, or hide his head in shame...

Yeah, I know. Tolkien was to blame for trilogies as well, though that wasn't his fault--the publisher did that.

Though, really, if fantasy writers read TOLKIEN and not 4th generation Tolkien wannabes, they'd see that he starts out Lord of the Rings in the most mundane way--with the hobbits having a brithday party. As close to our world as anything can be. And all those names and relationships are slipped in little by little along the way, not front-loaded on page one.

And, most of the time, they're explained to the hobbits who are as clueless as we are! Annotations should be there because the reader wants more...not because the book left them confused.

That's how a master of fantasy/science fiction does it (IMHO).

That, or the Clockwork Orange method. Which is true artistry in drawing the reader into an "alien" mind and world, slang and all. I won't got into that here there's not room or time enough for the dissertation I'd want to write on it.

I'm certainly with Shanglan on that one as well. Clockwork is a masterpiece.

 

[Stella_Omega]

So; we have listed as dialogue faults;

• too mundane
• too pretentious
• too didactic
• too stereotypical

and that IIIIM CUMMMING!!!! thing, and I don't even know how to describe it in a single word
anything else?

 

[BlackShanglan]

So; we have listed as dialogue faults;

• too mundane
• too pretentious
• too didactic
• too stereotypical

and that IIIIM CUMMMING!!!! thing, and I don't even know how to describe it in a single word
anything else?

Overblown attempts to render accents phonetically.

Corny, ridiculously persistent, and/or erroneous application of stereotyped regional speech patterns - like having the southern character apply "y'all" to every person, animal, and inanimate object he encounters.

Mis-matches of voice and speech patterns to the character - as in the screenplay I read in which the surly, hulking axe murderer who has escaped from prison with the "brains" of the outfit leading him looks at a tunnel and says, "Surely you don't expect that I will go into that?"

Excessive (meaning more than about once per Lit page) use of italics, boldface, or all caps to indicate stress or excitement. I GET the POINT withOUT the CAPS, honestly.

Ending every sentence in an exclamation point! Dear God! No one is that excited! Honestly!


It's impressive, really, how many ways there are to do dialog badly.

Shanglan

 

[3113]

Is anyone else amazed by how accurately some people can measure just by looking? Or how many sex scenes include (invisible and unmentioned) tape measures and rulers as sex toys?

Hey! I'll have you know I always have a hand-dandy tape measure by the bed--along with the lube and vibrators. If I've learned anything from Lit, it's that ya gotta have standards. Use to be, I'd find a guy, and if I liked him, I just go to bed with him, no sizing him up. But now, I know better. After we strip down, I hand him my bra so he can check the label and rest assured that I'm a 38DD. That usually gets him hard, and then I can measure him.

According to Lit, he's gotta be a 7" minimum. Thickness counts as well.

Don't you know the best penises are "Thick as your arm"? (No wonder baggy pants are currently in style).

Thank you Literotica for showing me what really matters!

 

[Stella_Omega]

"thick as your arm"

Shanglan? Have you anything to say about that?
oh, wait- you're epicene, darn.