What makes me submissive

[Funinpanties]

I beleive that when I smoke pot I become more in to my fantasy life. when I don't life is a drag and I can't get into the fetish mode. I have tried to not smoke pot for long periods. ( over three months. my conclusion is that I have a boring life I accomplish maybe a little more material things but my sex life is locked up and life is not as much fun. I am more stressed about life and not able to get into my fantasy life as much. Conclusion is that i want to escape into my fantasy world it is fun it may be weird but it is fun. If anyone has any thoughts let them fly FIP

 

[Vixandra]

Ya know, if you need to get high to have fun, you may need to change your lifestyle.

Yeah, I'm the one that doesn't do drugs or even drink that much.

Life's got far too much to do to waste time getting high, which serves no purpose (unless its pain relief, that's different).

 

[Funinpanties]

Probably right

You are probably right I just wish I could get into it better without it. Don't get me wrong I still fantasize when sober just not as often or as pasionate. I don't know why that just what i have found in my road to my real self

 

[CreativeSubmissions]

It should be within that makes someone submissve because someone needs to show the world...their power they have so it could surrender to one.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Probably right

I don't know why that just what i have found in my road to my real self

If it's drug induced, it's usually artifical. I'd think hard about whether it's helping you on the "road to your real self."

 

[catalina_francisco]

Could it be at 45 you are having a midlife crisis phase where you are questioning what you have done in your life, your frustrations with those things you haven't done, and a surge to do as much as you can before it is too late?...and no, I am actually older than you so am not being ageist, just a thought from seeing others do the same. Is not that unusual, and if so, you need to deal with it before you waste anymore time.

Like others have said, if you need some artificial means to get to where you go into fetish mode, you need to find out why....could be a matter of feeling uncomfortable releasing those needs inside yourself without something which will lower the barriers. I would tend to think if it is where you go once the inhibitions are lowered, that you do have a real desire (though the motivation for such could vary), but until you can find the key to unlock it sufficiently without induced methods, you are treading water.

Catalina

 

[NCShin]

I'm so highly against drugs that I really don't even associate with anyone who does them.

If I went out with a woman and she needed drugs to do anything, be that sexual or otherwise, I'd move on.

I obviously can't speak for anyone else here, let alone any of the Dommes but I think that if you did a poll, a good 95% of dominants here would not practice any form of BDSM with a sub who was on any illegal drugs.

 

[Funinpanties]

Oh my God get a life its just pot. I beleive it just lets down my inhibitions a little. I have and do support five girls. I own a sucessful business. I just want to have fun. I read the same porn when I am high as when I am not. I get a hard on the same. I am not a drug adict. I am just a man who smokes alittle herb and loves to be submissive. Give me a break.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Oh my God get a life its just pot. I beleive it just lets down my inhibitions a little. I have and do support five girls. I own a sucessful business. I just want to have fun. I read the same porn when I am high as when I am not. I get a hard on the same. I am not a drug adict. I am just a man who smokes alittle herb and loves to be submissive. Give me a break.

are you sure you are 45?

 

[catalina_francisco]

are you sure you are 45?

Signs from both threads are not supporting it are they? Regardless of age, the majority of those seriously involved in real time play at the very least, as NCShin says, do not incorporate drug use into play for either Dominant or submissive simply from a safety perspective. I know we have both had no interest in being involved with people who take drugs as we prefer to know they are fully aware of what they are doing, and don't need something to get them through it. Like any substance used to get you past/through issues, be it food, drugs, alcohol, it signals a need to deal with the issues, not find a comfort or prop to push them to the background for awhile. You asked fip, and as you find here, ask and you shall be answered.....you can't stipulate ahead of time what answers you want to hear otherwise it makes it pointless to ask.

Catalina

 

[Funinpanties]

Why do you ask if I am 45 do I act younger. Maybe I am just immature. I can't beleive that pot is such a big deal and why are you all hung up on whether I am sober or not. I am not going to meet you can't you just pretend to not know I smoke pot. God how judgemental. Lets have a little fun if I had not told you about it you would never have known. so why should I be honest all it does is give you guys opportunity to not play with me am I right?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Why do you ask if I am 45 do I act younger. Maybe I am just immature. I can't beleive that pot is such a big deal and why are you all hung up on whether I am sober or not. I am not going to meet you can't you just pretend to not know I smoke pot. God how judgemental. Lets have a little fun if I had not told you about it you would never have known. so why should I be honest all it does is give you guys opportunity to not play with me am I right?

LOL, well you are too far away for me to even worry about playing with. That aside though, I questioned in your other thread about your reality as it seemed to be in question, and you admitted what you had said was not real. One of the first things you learn is many in the lifestyle are very perceptive, especially if they have realtime experience...second is, if you bend the truth, it often makes people wary of you. Not judgemental in the sense you mean, either over honesty or your substance abuse, but is a matter of safety and self protection which most are aware are necesssary if you are going to play with others. If someone can't be trusted, they are too risky to play with. The choice then becomes yours.

Catalina

 

[Nackereia]

You brought up pot in your own thread, fip.

And you should be honest because it's a moral. In a BDSM relationship, honesty is everything. If someone isn't honest, they aren't trustworthy, and then they aren't someone you should play with. Personally, I don't like to associate myself with dishonest people. And "just a little pot" may be fine on the side, but adding in sexual play, be it BDSM or not, is just dangerous.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Why do you ask if I am 45 do I act younger. Maybe I am just immature. I can't beleive that pot is such a big deal and why are you all hung up on whether I am sober or not. I am not going to meet you can't you just pretend to not know I smoke pot. God how judgemental. Lets have a little fun if I had not told you about it you would never have known. so why should I be honest all it does is give you guys opportunity to not play with me am I right?

I have nothing against anyone who smokes pot.

But using drugs as a way to "find yourself" is not going to get you where you want to end up. From your original post it most definately sounds as though this is the only way you can feel liberated enough to experience your fantasies.

I can't offer you any advice. I'll leave that to the ones who know better than I do. Good luck.

And come along... I'll play with you.

 

[NemoAlia]

Yeah, I guess I can see how altering your mind would help you get out of reality and into fantasy more...

I, for one, am struggling hard to get out of fantasy and more into reality. It seems like it would be really worthwhile to be able to enjoy reality as much as I like my fantasy life. So pot's not somewhere I'm gonna go, at least until I've tried reality. I'd like to be able to choose, rather than being dependent on one or the other.

 

[CreativeSubmissions]

The thing about me I am always struggling to find myself since I am usually found a dream,but drugs aren't they way to do it...and Ex of mine had a heart attack a month ago at 23 for some of the stuff he did. I don't judge people its their life....but....don't use it as an excuse please.

 

[Etoile]

My Daddy dabbles a bit with pot now and then. (Okay, more often then I would like, but that's just because it smells nasty.) But never while playing - e will only get high if we're just planning on snuggling in front of a movie or something. As NCShin and Catalina pointed out, mind-altering substances and BDSM do not mix well for most people.

And yeah, Fip, I'd say you are very immature if you're really 45. Quit fucking whining just because people are telling you something other than what you want to hear. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/arg.gif

 

[rosco rathbone]

Still smoking bones at 45 eh?

Christ; I'd be embarrassed to be a pothead at 30. Come now; switch to martinis and act your age.

I hate potheads

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

I have nothing against anyone who smokes pot.

But using drugs as a way to "find yourself" is not going to get you where you want to end up. From your original post it most definately sounds as though this is the only way you can feel liberated enough to experience your fantasies.

I can't offer you any advice. I'll leave that to the ones who know better than I do. Good luck.

I concur on both points. You still have a lot of hang-ups to deal with if you require drugs to get in the BDSM mood. Or maybe you're not as into it as you think you are and are really just searching for something different and exciting.

I was with a group of experienced BDSM people when I got into it (with my husband). One of the things they taught us immedately was not to be under the influence of drugs during a scene. They told us even drinking much alcohol could be dangerous. Why? As a dom, it can make go farther than you know you should when you're sober. As a sub, it can help you take pain, but often more pain than you're really able to take, precipitating a trip to the ER.

If you're really going to give BDSm a shot, drop the drugs for a while. Do your research on the net. You might consider finding a group (they can be easily found via the net these days).

And, Desert Rose, ~stalk~

 

[Xelebes]

I deal with people who do drugs on a recreational basis and some addicts. It instills a sens e of pathos for them. Some I know will die before they reach 25 because of a drug deal gone wrong or od'd on some crap. Why do I deal with them? I don't know. Maybe it's because they are the only ones who can relate to what I am (being a sub and all). I'm 19, I don't know many people and hopefully I'll meet some more people who aren't so sketchy. I personally never want to take drugs and adamant in that position.

As for the responses by fip - hmm, about the same responses, if not worse than some of druggie friends would say.

 

[NCShin]

Oh my God get a life its just pot. I beleive it just lets down my inhibitions a little. I have and do support five girls. I own a sucessful business. I just want to have fun. I read the same porn when I am high as when I am not. I get a hard on the same. I am not a drug adict. I am just a man who smokes alittle herb and loves to be submissive. Give me a break.

OK, here is PART of the deal...

It's just pot dude, ya know the traditional peer pressure line. Try it, it's just pot dude.

I heard that in high school. And hell, it IS just pot, so I tried it.

I almost died. I my blood pressure fell so low I was white, passed out, cracked my head open, and couldn't hold anything inside my body. (yeah it's as gross as you're thinking)

Lucky for me there were people around who didn't drink and didn't do drugs that were concerned enough to get me to a hospital. If the potheads had their way I'd have died there.

So it's just pot dude...

<edit>
and before you go trying to tell me there was something else mixed in, my sister had a similar but less severe reaction.
</edit>

 

[Funinpanties]

You people need to get a life. My God I am 45 and I'll bet I can out work and out run 75% of you and the reason I said that is because of the depressed people telling me I am going to die at 25. Hello I am 45 and sure tommorrow is pormised to no one but come on. I work outside every day I clean windows for a living. I am healthy. Why have I not heard from those who think pot is an mood enhancer not party killer. Listen I am just an average guy who is trying to play with a few of my fetishes. And I have never kept the fact that I smoke alittle pot from any of my Doms. And to tell you the truth i can't smoke too much because I rush enough when I get put through the paces. And Pot is not what i am about. It is .001%. Out

 

[Xelebes]

You people need to get a life. My God I am 45 and I'll bet I can out work and out run 75% of you and the reason I said that is because of the depressed people telling me I am going to die at 25. Hello I am 45 and sure tommorrow is pormised to no one but come on. I work outside every day I clean windows for a living. I am healthy. Why have I not heard from those who think pot is an mood enhancer not party killer. Listen I am just an average guy who is trying to play with a few of my fetishes. And I have never kept the fact that I smoke alittle pot from any of my Doms. And to tell you the truth i can't smoke too much because I rush enough when I get put through the paces. And Pot is not what i am about. It is .001%. Out

I'm not saying you're gonna die at 45, just that your explanations are very weak, especially for someone your age and for the way it is consumed, especially in the realm of when and why.

 

[catalina_francisco]

You people need to get a life. My God I am 45 and I'll bet I can out work and out run 75% of you and the reason I said that is because of the depressed people telling me I am going to die at 25. Hello I am 45 and sure tommorrow is pormised to no one but come on. I work outside every day I clean windows for a living. I am healthy. Why have I not heard from those who think pot is an mood enhancer not party killer. Listen I am just an average guy who is trying to play with a few of my fetishes. And I have never kept the fact that I smoke alittle pot from any of my Doms. And to tell you the truth i can't smoke too much because I rush enough when I get put through the paces. And Pot is not what i am about. It is .001%. Out

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=8864054#post8864054

I have a confession to make. I am new to this type of writing. I thought that I could get through this by telling you guys that i have a Mistress. i don't I just wish I had a online mistress.

fip, let me begin by saying, as this thread, and the other one referenced above show, it is not the posters here who need to get a life. They already have lives, and ones that are not only functioning and of their conscious choice, but do not need to be propped up by mind altering drug induced states, or dishonesty in how they represent themselves. If you are genuine in hoping to find a real Mistress, I suggest being honest and sober might be a good place to start.

Saying you have one, then confessing it was a lie but a wish, then telling us you have had Doms {And I have never kept the fact that I smoke alittle pot from any of my Doms...your words as posted above} does not generate a feeling you are very mature, trustworthy, or stable.

People in this forum will generally open themselves up to help anyone who asks for it, even after some rudeness as has been demonstrated here...they are very tolerant and generous people on the whole, so do not deserve your abuse or tantrum like responses when you do not get what appears to be the fix you are seeking. I wish you luck in finding what it is you seek...perhaps a good Domme is what you need to bring you into line, but whether they will think it worth their time I am not so sure of at this point in your journey.

Catalina

 

[Luvinit]

I'm not gonna offer advice. I'm just gonna point out that for me, post was a mood killer. I never felt frisky after smoking weed. I smoked, I ate about 10 pounds of food, I fell asleep. So much for me as a party animal.