What Makes a Sexy Correspondent?

[rgraham666]

You men are so visual!

I had to think about this, and remember my own experiences.

And in my case that's not true. I'm much more a tactile person. If anything turns me on it's the feel of a woman; the silk of her skin, the taste of her sweat and come, the trembling and jerking of her body in my arms, the warmth and wetness of her around my cock when I'm inside her.

I love the sound of a woman when we're making love as well.

The only visual clue that gets to me is a woman's face; her eyes blank and fluttering, her mouth loose with passion, gritting her teeth when she comes, the smile when her orgasm fades.

You can see that in my stories. I spend very little time on how a woman looks other than beautiful. Most visual descriptions involve telling the reader of a woman's emotional reaction to something.

Um, 'scuse me. Need a short break.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I had to think about this, and remember my own experiences.

And in my case that's not true. I'm much more a tactile person. If anything turns me on it's the feel of a woman; the silk of her skin, the taste of her sweat and come, the trembling and jerking of her body in my arms, the warmth and wetness of her around my cock when I'm inside her.

I love the sound of a woman when we're making love as well.

The only visual clue that gets to me is a woman's face; her eyes blank and fluttering, her mouth loose with passion, gritting her teeth when she comes, the smile when her orgasm fades.

You can see that in my stories. I spend very little time on how a woman looks other than beautiful. Most visual descriptions involve telling the reader of a woman's emotional reaction to something.

Um, 'scuse me. Need a short break.

It's hot in here, isn't it??

*fanning self*

 

[Guest]

I had to think about this, and remember my own experiences.

And in my case that's not true. I'm much more a tactile person. If anything turns me on it's the feel of a woman; the silk of her skin, the taste of her sweat and come, the trembling and jerking of her body in my arms, the warmth and wetness of her around my cock when I'm inside her.

I love the sound of a woman when we're making love as well.

The only visual clue that gets to me is a woman's face; her eyes blank and fluttering, her mouth loose with passion, gritting her teeth when she comes, the smile when her orgasm fades.

You can see that in my stories. I spend very little time on how a woman looks other than beautiful. Most visual descriptions involve telling the reader of a woman's emotional reaction to something.

Um, 'scuse me. Need a short break.

Wow.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Have you found a sexy mind to probe lately, Doc?

God, that sounds delicious, doesn't it? No, I haven't, damn it!

But I've been helping someone with a story, and in doing so it was just driven home to me how when we write, we edit reality and mark it as our own. We put our stamp on it so it goes from being raw reality to someone's perception of it, and because it's been passed through someone's intelligence, it's suddenly very personal and full of hidden meanings and inferences that the reader now gets to figure out.

Just like two painters will produce different paintings of the same scene, different writers will produce different descriptions of the same situation, full of meaning and nuance, that tells all about them.

Life doesn't mean anything, but a story does. A story is what you get when intelligence operates on life, recognizing patterns in it and extracting meaning from it. In fact, you might say the ability to make stories is the acid test of intelligence. If you can't derive the meaning from an occurrence, then you're dealing with a complete absence of intelligence.

My sexiest correspondents have a way of making the world sexy, and I'm not even sure what I mean by "sexy" here. There was one person I wrote (and I don't think she's reading this)--we used to talk about the sky at night a lot. The sky and the rooftops and the clouds, the trees that tossed in the wind. It became a very obvious joke or image for our feelings about each other.

But you know, I'd read her letters and then I'd go out and walk the dog and look up at the sky and feel the wind and my world was that much brighter, because damned if she wasn't right there then, right where I could feel her, and feeling how the wind was, I could imagine her mood. And that was very sexy. Just through using her intelligence she filled my world with her presence.

 

[secretme]

God, that sounds delicious, doesn't it? No, I haven't, damn it!

But I've been helping someone with a story, and in doing so it was just driven home to me how when we write, we edit reality and mark it as our own. We put our stamp on it so it goes from being raw reality to someone's perception of it, and because it's been passed through someone's intelligence, it's suddenly very personal and full of hidden meanings and inferences that the reader now gets to figure out.

Just like two painters will produce different paintings of the same scene, different writers will produce different descriptions of the same situation, full of meaning and nuance, that tells all about them.

Life doesn't mean anything, but a story does. A story is what you get when intelligence operates on life, recognizing patterns in it and extracting meaning from it. In fact, you might say the ability to make stories is the acid test of intelligence. If you can't derive the meaning from an occurrence, then you're dealing with a complete absence of intelligence.

My sexiest correspondents have a way of making the world sexy, and I'm not even sure what I mean by "sexy" here. There was one person I wrote (and I don't think she's reading this)--we used to talk about the sky at night a lot. The sky and the rooftops and the clouds, the trees that tossed in the wind. It became a very obvious joke or image for our feelings about each other.

But you know, I'd read her letters and then I'd go out and walk the dog and look up at the sky and feel the wind and my world was that much brighter, because damned if she wasn't right there then, right where I could feel her, and feeling how the wind was, I could imagine her mood. And that was very sexy. Just through using her intelligence she filled my world with her presence.

There you go sounding all Kerouac again. I'm just going to have to pull out HOWL and read it again or maybe ON THE ROAD. You've got me all nostalgic.

I love writing with other people. The only thing I have published was written with a coauthor who wrote the lead male character to my lead female. I definitely think that there was an added level of tension between the two that just wouldn't have happened if I had written both parts, myself.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

First of all, Trust: I'm not generally attracted to someone if trust and integrity is not present.

Then, there are a whole lot of intangible elements. I need an unmistakable connection - the type of intense intimacy that makes your head spin. Perceptive and intuitive. I like unique. I like sensitivity, intensity and gentility. Passion - not only for sex, but a passion for life. And I want to see humanness, perhaps in the form of a subtle vulnerability.

I want someone who takes the time and effort to get to know me and what makes me hot. And then someone who takes the time and effort to play with that knowledge, and apply it. It's also about "us" - our specific chemistry, because it's different with different people. There will be dimensions that we share specifically -things that are exclusive to us. I want that acknowledged, and I want it to be genuine and natural.

Boundary pushing and a willingness to be lustful and sexy and sensual. Multilayer. Different. Non conventional. Non conformist. The balance or unbalance of fantasy and reality is of much significance. Fantasy is good, yet I like when real life is included in our interactions and we personify situations and circumstances.

They have to be able to completely loose themselves in the moment with me. And switching is a must.

In our interactions, there has to be some kind of progress and growth or change, even when it's just "play". I don't like being stagnant.

 

[impressive]

You men are so visual!

Aren't they, though?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

God, that sounds delicious, doesn't it? No, I haven't, damn it!

But I've been helping someone with a story, and in doing so it was just driven home to me how when we write, we edit reality and mark it as our own. We put our stamp on it so it goes from being raw reality to someone's perception of it, and because it's been passed through someone's intelligence, it's suddenly very personal and full of hidden meanings and inferences that the reader now gets to figure out.

Just like two painters will produce different paintings of the same scene, different writers will produce different descriptions of the same situation, full of meaning and nuance, that tells all about them.

Life doesn't mean anything, but a story does. A story is what you get when intelligence operates on life, recognizing patterns in it and extracting meaning from it. In fact, you might say the ability to make stories is the acid test of intelligence. If you can't derive the meaning from an occurrence, then you're dealing with a complete absence of intelligence.

My sexiest correspondents have a way of making the world sexy, and I'm not even sure what I mean by "sexy" here. There was one person I wrote (and I don't think she's reading this)--we used to talk about the sky at night a lot. The sky and the rooftops and the clouds, the trees that tossed in the wind. It became a very obvious joke or image for our feelings about each other.

But you know, I'd read her letters and then I'd go out and walk the dog and look up at the sky and feel the wind and my world was that much brighter, because damned if she wasn't right there then, right where I could feel her, and feeling how the wind was, I could imagine her mood. And that was very sexy. Just through using her intelligence she filled my world with her presence.

That's lovely, Doc. You're both gifted for it. I've found editing like that, too, on both ends.

And it's still and always about connection...

You use the word intelligence, but I think it goes beyond, deeper, than just our minds meeting. You used music as a metaphor, and it resonated with me (and many others, too!) and it made me think of a tuning fork... or that old way they used to look for water... seeking that vibration...

that's what we're seeking, I think... that energy vibration, the part of someone else that resonates in us, that IS us... (if it doesn't sound to crunchy and woo-woo to say!)

And I hope you do find something delicious.

 

[Vermilion]

It's also really important to have feedback. As in life, so it is in more cyber-style relationships - you find attractive those who let you know that *you* are attractive. One of my best online friends at the moment, with whom I have a delightful flirt most days, makes me feel intelligent, funny, attractive and that feeds back into the feelings I have for him.

x
V

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Aren't they, though?

Yes and yet no.

I admit that I am visual. My mind at its root works in images and visuals, and I look at so many things. Women with certain looks, images, personnas that they project in wardrobe, accessories and attitude appeal to me on first blush.

there is also the auditory, that cannot be discounted. there are women I've not seen but heard their voices and I find them attractive, compelling. The accent, the cadence, the slight blush that comes through in a giggle or a husky laugh that gives a hint that there is a arousal on her part as well is like a bonfire to the moth of my libido.

and the tactile. the silken hair, the way her hand touches mine, that soft fabric that women's clothes do so well and yet men cannot quite wear (cashmere in particular). Fingernails on my back, lips on my neck, so many many touches that can inflame passion.

And olfactory..... I once followed a women through 4 shops in a mall just because she smelled sooooo good, and it was like that cartoon cliche of the smoke tral that becomes a and and lifts me up to make me float behind her...

and the ethereal. that jene sai quoi that magic, I can't even describe it but its so powerful and have nothing to do with any of the above qualities.

Or I'm just very very strange.

 

[Vermilion]

Yes and yet no.

I admit that I am visual. My mind at its root works in images and visuals, and I look at so many things. Women with certain looks, images, personnas that they project in wardrobe, accessories and attitude appeal to me on first blush.

there is also the auditory, that cannot be discounted. there are women I've not seen but heard their voices and I find them attractive, compelling. The accent, the cadence, the slight blush that comes through in a giggle or a husky laugh that gives a hint that there is a arousal on her part as well is like a bonfire to the moth of my libido.

and the tactile. the silken hair, the way her hand touches mine, that soft fabric that women's clothes do so well and yet men cannot quite wear (cashmere in particular). Fingernails on my back, lips on my neck, so many many touches that can inflame passion.

And olfactory..... I once followed a women through 4 shops in a mall just because she smelled sooooo good, and it was like that cartoon cliche of the smoke tral that becomes a and and lifts me up to make me float behind her...

and the ethereal. that jene sai quoi that magic, I can't even describe it but its so powerful and have nothing to do with any of the above qualities.

Or I'm just very very strange.

hah! simultaneous post - jinx!
x
V

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Yes and yet no.

I admit that I am visual. My mind at its root works in images and visuals, and I look at so many things. Women with certain looks, images, personnas that they project in wardrobe, accessories and attitude appeal to me on first blush.

there is also the auditory, that cannot be discounted. there are women I've not seen but heard their voices and I find them attractive, compelling. The accent, the cadence, the slight blush that comes through in a giggle or a husky laugh that gives a hint that there is a arousal on her part as well is like a bonfire to the moth of my libido.

and the tactile. the silken hair, the way her hand touches mine, that soft fabric that women's clothes do so well and yet men cannot quite wear (cashmere in particular). Fingernails on my back, lips on my neck, so many many touches that can inflame passion.

And olfactory..... I once followed a women through 4 shops in a mall just because she smelled sooooo good, and it was like that cartoon cliche of the smoke tral that becomes a and and lifts me up to make me float behind her...

and the ethereal. that jene sai quoi that magic, I can't even describe it but its so powerful and have nothing to do with any of the above qualities.

Or I'm just very very strange.

Okay, I'll apologize for making the generalization... I was just nudging TxRd about his "web cam" comment...

But I don't think all men are "just" or even "primarily" visual. I've been with my husband long enough to know that his hands finding my bare flesh in the dark can be much more of a turnon than me prancing around in my underwear.

Saying "men are visual" does a disservice to each gender, and reduces both. I apologize.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Hmmmm, i need to feel that initial spark that only grows- not only into a fire of passionate intimacy, but spreading into other arena's of what makes the person.

Trust and safety is important, i need to trust and feel safe with her, and i need to feel trusted and that i am considered safe to be that intimate with.

I need to feel that she is interested in me- what makes me me, what makes me weak, what makes me strong, what makes me proud, what i am interested in, what can take me to another place and fully strip me of my capacities and focus me on one thing or one moment,- not just a cyber fuck. Sure there have been times where in the distant past i experimented purely for hedonistic pleasure (and not just with women- with men too- i was confused ), and not for a deeper intimacy and connection.

I like it when she gets lost in her writting as she writes for me, that it gets fast, it gets passionate, it touches deeper, it gets typo-d and breathless. Even though this is a writting community that prides itself on and appreciates correct spelling and grammar, i love to know that she can get so lost and caught up in what she needs to convey that she loses all desire to keep to acceptable writting manners.

I like to keep scenario's ground in plausable reality or idealistic reality. It helps me picture it, feel it, get involved with it.

I like being able to joke around, even if its about myself or her, and know that it's only kidding and its not meant in malice- i.e. be that comfortable with each other.

I like to be left with a part of her after our interactions, something that will make me laugh, or smile, or a piece of knowledge of her. And i like to think i leave my mark with her in the same way too.

There's more i just can't articulate it right now.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Okay, I'll apologize for making the generalization... I was just nudging TxRd about his "web cam" comment...

But I don't think all men are "just" or even "primarily" visual. I've been with my husband long enough to know that his hands finding my bare flesh in the dark can be much more of a turnon than me prancing around in my underwear.

Saying "men are visual" does a disservice to each gender, and reduces both. I apologize.

No apologies are necessary. I am visual. I make a lot of snap judgments based on avatars and profile pictures here, and it has embarrassed me and let me down. I think if a woman offered me pictures I would jump at the chance faster than if I offered them to her.

I just wanted that the knowledge that we men are more complex, and yet in someways very simple. We're pains in the ass like that

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I've thought about this for a couple of days. I think it's a tiny bit of an accent. Look at Brian Williams and Peter Jennings. Both are/were Canadia with just a touch of accent.

 

[CharleyH]

What makes a sexy correspondent for online flirtation?

For me, it's intelligence and imagination, of course, and humor--that's essential--and a certain level of emotion and responsiveness (definitely). But also they're curious and just a little pushy. Mystery has very little to do with it for me (comes across as evasiveness). Nor is too much honestly necessarily appreciated. (I don't especially want to know about someone's marital history right out of the gate. In fact, that's a danger signal.)

They have to be interested in you, and--most essential--they have to be the kind of person you'd be interested in.

But other than that, what do you look for in terms of cyber heat?

Well, Intelligence is utmost for me. This question encompasses words though, and a sexy, sensual and erotically symbolic contact is much more a turn on than a direct one for me.

 

[Lady Regicide]

I like it when she gets lost in her writting as she writes for me, that it gets fast, it gets passionate, it touches deeper, it gets typo-d and breathless. Even though this is a writting community that prides itself on and appreciates correct spelling and grammar, i love to know that she can get so lost and caught up in what she needs to convey that she loses all desire to keep to acceptable writting manners.

I'm sorry, I know you meant this as a serious post, but the irony in that paragraph made me laugh:

This is not a writting community, it is a writing community. Please learn to spell if you're going to call yourself a writer. If you can't spell the medium you claim to express yourself in, I can't see how you'd be any good at all. I'm not saying that you're a bad writer - I can't say as I haven't read anything of yours yet - but that's the image you're conveying. If you want people to take you seriously, I suggest spell checking and writing down a list of words you frequently spell wrong, so that you can reference it and thus learn from your mistakes instead of repeating them. ^.^

I noticed you also had some problems with pluralising - you should never use an apostrophe to pluralise. Apostrophes are only ever used to indicate possession or contractions.

I'm sorry if this came across as bitchy - I don't mean to be. I promise I really am a nice person! My profession unfortunately requires me to bit of a grammar Nazi and I can't help but carry it into my personal life ::hangs head in shame::

If you ever want to chat about grammar (or you know, interesting stuff too ^.~ ) feel free to drop me a PM or email/MSN me on lady_regicide@hotmail.com

 

[Guest]

. . .

If you ever want to chat about grammar (or you know, interesting stuff too ^.~ ) feel free to drop me a PM or email/MSN me on lady_regicide@hotmail.com

One wonders if she'll take you up on your kind offer.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

I'm sorry, I know you meant this as a serious post, but the irony in that paragraph made me laugh:

This is not a writting community, it is a writing community. Please learn to spell if you're going to call yourself a writer. If you can't spell the medium you claim to express yourself in, I can't see how you'd be any good at all. I'm not saying that you're a bad writer - I can't say as I haven't read anything of yours yet - but that's the image you're conveying. If you want people to take you seriously, I suggest spell checking and writing down a list of words you frequently spell wrong, so that you can reference it and thus learn from your mistakes instead of repeating them. ^.^

I noticed you also had some problems with pluralising - you should never use an apostrophe to pluralise. Apostrophes are only ever used to indicate possession or contractions.

I'm sorry if this came across as bitchy - I don't mean to be. I promise I really am a nice person! My profession unfortunately requires me to bit of a grammar Nazi and I can't help but carry it into my personal life ::hangs head in shame::

If you ever want to chat about grammar (or you know, interesting stuff too ^.~ ) feel free to drop me a PM or email/MSN me on lady_regicide@hotmail.com

I didn't call myself a writer in my post, I beleive I said

Even though this is a writting community that prides itself on and appreciates correct spelling and grammar...

Perhaps it would be a good idea to read what another writes before commenting as you have- i imagine your profession also involves reading if it indeed involves being a 'grammar Nazi'.

Apologies for sounding bitchy, I hadn't intended my reply as such. (what a way to QUALIFY sounding bitchy...~)

Oh, and please don't fucking patronise me.

 

[Vermilion]

Just a quick note to the 'grammar-Nazi'... although this is a writing community and is therefore populated mostly with authors it is not all authors and we are not writing everlasting prose here, we're 'hanging out,' as it says on the door. We just have a chat and a gossip and, as long as something is not overly offensive to the eye, or utterly unintelligible, we let it go. We are, after all, just nattering. Who wants to spellcheck that?

I've read Grace's stories. No problems that I noticed. Perhaps she just doesn't feel the need to be anal here, amongst friends.

Just... relax a bit... You won't enjoy yourself much here if you critique every error as if you were proofreading a TS. I, for example, constantly use a semi-colon instead of an apostrophe. I very rarely bother going back to correct it in posts...

x
V

 

[CharleyH]

One wonders if she'll take you up on your kind offer.

Yeah, grammar gets me into bed every time - lol. IT'S COMING not CUMMING honey.

 

[Guest]

Yeah, grammar gets me into bed every time - lol. IT'S COMING not CUMMING honey.

I thought we decided cum was the noun, come was the verb, yes?

Oooh. Grammar makes me so hot.

 

[CharleyH]

I thought we decided cum was the noun, come was the verb, yes?

Oooh. Grammar makes me so hot.

LOL. Gramme...god, you are HOT!

 

[Guest]

LOL. Gramme...god, you are HOT!

Laughing -

Back atcha babe.

 

[Lady Regicide]

I didn't call myself a writer in my post, I beleive I said



Perhaps it would be a good idea to read what another writes before commenting as you have- i imagine your profession also involves reading if it indeed involves being a 'grammar Nazi'.

Apologies for sounding bitchy, I hadn't intended my reply as such. (what a way to QUALIFY sounding bitchy...~)

Oh, and please don't fucking patronise me.

I did notice that you had some stories and you post in the Author's Hangout - therefore one must conclude that you do indeed consider yourself a writer. I just don't understand how you could be an adult (I assume?) and a writer and yet not know how to spell the word writing. My 5-year-old niece can spell it...it's not exactly difficult. There's no need to be rude - if you didn't want people pointing out your atrocious spelling and punctuation, you should learn - or attempt to learn - the correct way so that it does not happen again.

Like I said, if you need help, I would be glad to offer my assistance. You obviously need it. I'm not trying to be mean, much as you may think it so. I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot. ^.^