What Makes a Sexy Correspondent?

[dr_mabeuse]

What makes a sexy correspondent for online flirtation?

For me, it's intelligence and imagination, of course, and humor--that's essential--and a certain level of emotion and responsiveness (definitely). But also they're curious and just a little pushy. Mystery has very little to do with it for me (comes across as evasiveness). Nor is too much honestly necessarily appreciated. (I don't especially want to know about someone's marital history right out of the gate. In fact, that's a danger signal.)

They have to be interested in you, and--most essential--they have to be the kind of person you'd be interested in.

But other than that, what do you look for in terms of cyber heat?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

You pretty much nailed it, Doc... although I like a little mystery...

I also like confidence, a little cockiness, definitely humor (but not self-depracating). I like someone direct, but not too direct... purple prose puts me off... so does "hey baby, let's fuck!"

Really it's just about connection... you can tell when someone is a kindred spirit, when there's that "click" between you... and when there isn't.

And since it's in the cyber world, please, god, someone who can really write... and also can type fast and at least spell moderately well!

 

[English Lady]

A confident man who plays a good Private eye

*grins*

 

[tickledkitty]

I like a little mystery too, along with everything else you both said. I need to know that person wants more from me than just THAT. I've become very picky and tend to stick with just one person for a long time. And sometimes, when you find the right one, and you hear that "click" Selena mentioned? Mmmmm...magic.

 

[glynndah]

Ah, but a simple statement "Sweetie, I'm a 50 year old lunch lady. You can do better" does filter out a lot of people without much finesse or imagination. So does "I'm Amish. I don't believe in cameras".

 

[kendo1]

Big tits.

 

[rgraham666]

I find I'm pretty dominant in cyber relationships. With a fair bit of romanticism.

So I like a woman who can engage is 'foreplay'. Who can flirt, tease, help me build the scenario.

Once we get started I tend to be pretty dominant. So all she needs to to is send the occasional 'l.hjhyhygtfh' to me as she slams a hand on the keyboard to keep me happy.

A 'Holy Christ! I can't believe ho hard I came.' afterwards is nice too.

 

[TxRad]

The mind is a strange and wonderful playground.

A good webcam helps a lot also.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

A good webcam helps a lot also.

You men are so visual!

 

[Liar]

That one little thing.

I mean, imaginative, intelligent, witty and engaging people are everywhere. Just look at this place, a frickin' clusterfuck of potential. Doesn't mean I'll engage in cyber-flirting (or any other kind) with them on any serious level. And I don't think you can ever find a spark just because the flirt in question matches a set of benchmarks.

Nah, I want that thing, that one quirky detail in the personality that piques the interrest.

 

[English Lady]

That one little thing.

I mean, imaginative, intelligent, witty and engaging people are everywhere. Just look at this place, a frickin' clusterfuck of potential. Doesn't mean I'll engage in cyber-flirting (or any other kind) with them on any serious level. And I don't think you can ever find a spark just because the flirt in question matches a set of benchmarks.

Nah, I want that thing, that one quirky detail in the personality that piques the interrest.

Bingo!

 

[carsonshepherd]

Someone who can write better than I can. Smart is sexy. We can't impress each other with physical prowess so by default it has to be the proper spelling and use of words like "indefatigable."

Someone who figures out quickly how to push my buttons. If he's paying attention, it isn't difficult to find out what makes me hot.

Someone who doesn't push too hard, too fast. I'm shy and guarded and I need to come around on my own.

But if the connection isn't there, it's just not there, and it will never be there, no matter how they fit the bill otherwise. Just like in face-to-face communication, I either find someone charming or I don't.

 

[secretme]

You men are so visual!

I SOOOOOOO agree! I'd rather read a porn than watch one. I like a person who can write something that can turn me on without being blatant about it. Not an easy thing to do. Intelligent, interesting, and mystery can definitely be good!

Oh yeah, he has to be capable of creative vocabulary words. Just thought I'd add that one!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

You men are so visual!

The reason I started this thread was to try and define what I thought of as a sexy mind. It's not someone who has sex on their mind all the time. It's partly a sensual mind. It's a curious mind. It's a passionate mind. And I think it's a mind that longs to know other minds. But beyond that I can't describe it.

 

[cloudy]

It's partly a sensual mind. It's a curious mind. It's a passionate mind. And I think it's a mind that longs to know other minds.

Yes. And intelligence. That's very sexy.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I think it's a mind that longs to know other minds. But beyond that I can't describe it.

But I think that's the point, no? It's something we writers have longed to put into words forever, and we all keep trying because we almost get there... almost... almost... hovering ever right on the edge...

and once in a while, once in a great while, there's an epiphany... when the words take us past the words, transcend it all...

and then it's gone again, and we're trying to put it into words once more...

 

[Guest]

But I think that's the point, no? It's something we writers have longed to put into words forever, and we all keep trying because we almost get there... almost... almost... hovering ever right on the edge...

and once in a while, once in a great while, there's an epiphany... when the words take us past the words, transcend it all...

and then it's gone again, and we're trying to put it into words once more...

Wow! What she said !

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Wow! What she said !

 

[dr_mabeuse]

But I think that's the point, no? It's something we writers have longed to put into words forever, and we all keep trying because we almost get there... almost... almost... hovering ever right on the edge...

and once in a while, once in a great while, there's an epiphany... when the words take us past the words, transcend it all...

and then it's gone again, and we're trying to put it into words once more...

You know, I was thinking abut stories in general tonight, what they are, what we do when we write them, and it occurred to me (& this is kind of obvious), that all they are is reality filtered through another person's mind, through another person's intelligence. A story is like tasting someone else's experience of reality, and a sexy mind is something like that. You get to taste someone else's world through the way they say and describe things, the things they pay attention to, and they might just be talking abut the weather or what they saw at the store but you're there with them. They invite you into their world with them and you feel this intimacy.

You feel the embrace of their mind in whatever they say, and it just feels right to you, inviting and comfortable and intriguing and exciting. Like music. Like the best music in the world.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

You know, I was thinking abut stories in general tonight, what they are, what we do when we write them, and it occurred to me (& this is kind of obvious), that all they are is reality filtered through another person's mind, through another person's intelligence. A story is like tasting someone else's experience of reality, and a sexy mind is something like that. You get to taste someone else's world through the way they say and describe things, the things they pay attention to, and they might just be talking abut the weather or what they saw at the store but you're there with them. They invite you into their world with them and you feel this intimacy.

You feel the embrace of their mind in whatever they say, and it just feels right to you, inviting and comfortable and intriguing and exciting. Like music. Like the best music in the world.

Ah but your Mozart might be my... sheesh, I can't even put a metaphor in here without possibly offending someone!

Each of our tastes is sooo different...

But there is something universal in it all, too, isn't there? The same notes... we're all using the same notes to make the most beautiful music, and yet they're all different tunes.

Have you found a sexy mind to probe lately, Doc?

 

[The_Fool]

You know, I was thinking abut stories in general tonight, what they are, what we do when we write them, and it occurred to me (& this is kind of obvious), that all they are is reality filtered through another person's mind, through another person's intelligence. A story is like tasting someone else's experience of reality, and a sexy mind is something like that. You get to taste someone else's world through the way they say and describe things, the things they pay attention to, and they might just be talking abut the weather or what they saw at the store but you're there with them. They invite you into their world with them and you feel this intimacy.

You feel the embrace of their mind in whatever they say, and it just feels right to you, inviting and comfortable and intriguing and exciting. Like music. Like the best music in the world.

This hits very close to home for some thoughts I have had for another fool rool. That is, there are primary and secondary sources of inspiration. From me or from you. There there is the filtered and unfiltered information. Except nothing is unfiltered. We all bend and twist to suit, sometimes knowing sometimes not.

Sorry for the digression....

 

[Liar]

This hits very close to home for some thoughts I have had for another fool rool. That is, there are primary and secondary sources of inspiration. From me or from you. There there is the filtered and unfiltered information. Except nothing is unfiltered. We all bend and twist to suit, sometimes knowing sometimes not.

Sorry for the digression....

Trim it down a little, add some illustrating examples, and you have yourself a first class rool there.

 

[elsol]

What makes a sexy correspondent for online flirtation?

For me, it's intelligence and imagination, of course, and humor--that's essential--and a certain level of emotion and responsiveness (definitely). But also they're curious and just a little pushy. Mystery has very little to do with it for me (comes across as evasiveness). Nor is too much honestly necessarily appreciated. (I don't especially want to know about someone's marital history right out of the gate. In fact, that's a danger signal.)

They have to be interested in you, and--most essential--they have to be the kind of person you'd be interested in.

But other than that, what do you look for in terms of cyber heat?

Some women perceive my writing Voice as me and they react to that perception.

I always want to know what someone is thinking... and here's a circumstance where the individuals feel that I'm being SO honest with them, that they must reciprocate. They're not necessarily honest about their lives, but about who they are in their own heads.

To them, the stories are my deepest fantasies and darkest thoughts... so they feel safer sharing with me.

They're always very different, so it's not something like intelligence or imagination that I find attractive... it's that desire to connect with the male Voice from the story.

 

[champagne1982]

You know, I was thinking abut stories in general tonight, what they are, what we do when we write them, and it occurred to me (& this is kind of obvious), that all they are is reality filtered through another person's mind, through another person's intelligence. A story is like tasting someone else's experience of reality, and a sexy mind is something like that. You get to taste someone else's world through the way they say and describe things, the things they pay attention to, and they might just be talking abut the weather or what they saw at the store but you're there with them. They invite you into their world with them and you feel this intimacy.

You feel the embrace of their mind in whatever they say, and it just feels right to you, inviting and comfortable and intriguing and exciting. Like music. Like the best music in the world.

This explains my thoughts about correspondence; erotic, lovemaking or general; conversations all are better when you can perceive the other party's comprehension. Their feedback through the filters becomes the pure essence of what makes them unique in your experience. Thanks for the insight Doc.

 

[Guest]

You know, I was thinking abut stories in general tonight, what they are, what we do when we write them, and it occurred to me (& this is kind of obvious), that all they are is reality filtered through another person's mind, through another person's intelligence. A story is like tasting someone else's experience of reality, and a sexy mind is something like that. You get to taste someone else's world through the way they say and describe things, the things they pay attention to, and they might just be talking abut the weather or what they saw at the store but you're there with them. They invite you into their world with them and you feel this intimacy.

You feel the embrace of their mind in whatever they say, and it just feels right to you, inviting and comfortable and intriguing and exciting. Like music. Like the best music in the world.

Being a musician, of course I like this analogy.

Good musicians give of themselves in their performances. I believe good writers do the same.