What is your most important self-discovery when joining the BDSM lifestyle?

[esclave_PP]

Hi everyone! Another question for everyone...What was one of the most important self-discoveries you made about yourself when you finally joined the BDSM lifestyle? I often wonder about self-discovery and am curious what has been inspirational or eye-opening for Master/Mistress/sub/slave alike....

I know for me personally, it was how comfortable I was completely giving myself over and how deep I would go and how when looking back at my early childhood and teen years, that desire to please and serve was there, so moving into those same behaviors within BDSM as an adult was a natural extension of behaviors past.

How about you guys? Thanks!

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

The freedom to be who I really am
The other fact is, I am it appears a perverted megalomaniac because, God I love having the power

 

[esclave_PP]

very cool....like your new avatar! yes the freedom to be yourself is very powerful in its own right too!! thanks for answering!

 

[MissTaken]

How to begin:

Well, I find comfort in the realization that everything pleasurable is acceptable between two consenting adults. That is to say, being able to find my way out of my vanilla thinking into freer thinking has made an impact on all aspects of my life.

This realization has also brought forth a sense of confidence in myself as well as recognition for my own needs and embracing "ME"

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... that a cold, blinding light is the gift for driving someone into the warm, enveloping dark.

 

[hurtme]

I was amazed at the feeling that comes when you completely give yourself over to a person. It was so hard for me to do, and even though a part of me wanted to, I fought tooth and nail, because it has always been in my personality to be in control all the time, and when I finally did, it was amazing...and I was actually able to get off w/someone (for the first time ever since I lost my virginity)...and the funny thing is, I don't know what I was so worried about, i am not a mouse now, i am not less of a person, I just have a new facet of my personality...

 

[Skitten]

I learned to have more self-confidence in myself and in my sexuality. I have learned to let my inhibitions go and believe in the person I have become. It was not easy giving up to control to another, but it is well worth it because it is who I am and has made me stronger. Giving up control made me feel more free to be the real me without being worried of what it looked like to others. The fact remains it has taught me to be real within myself.

 

[esclave_PP]

skitten that is perhahps one of the most beautiful things I've read today. I am so thrilled for you and your journey you and Wizard are doing together!! Congratulations!

 

[Skitten]

mwbs_slave,
Master Wizard and I have learned and will continue to learn as we grow within each other and in the lifestyle. There are many things you learn as you become who really should be in your life. As our journey continues it will get even more exciting as we become more intouch with ourselves and as a couple.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

My self-discovery hit a high point when I used my slut as a designated driver when I went to the locar bar to drink some BEER.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I'm detecting a theme for this evening in your posts.

Come over, have a BEER with me, and tell me all about your theory.

 

[landcruisergal]

Most Importantly for me, is that I can recognise people trying to manipulate and take advantage of me now.

 

[wolf2002]

Come over, have a BEER with me, and tell me all about your theory.

Just wondering... is there some secret Lit rule that grants you extra points if you use the word BEER in your posts?

If so, I just got myself a point

 

[Ms_Kat]

My biggest discovery

was that I could be incredibly dominant and still be loving. Domination does not mean being a mean person. It means exerting your ability to control another's behavior. You can hold a person to a high standard of conduct and still not be domineering.

This is followed closely by:


I really love using a strap-on.



Hugs,



Kat

 

[spankableBelle]

self-discovery

i am still in the process...after almost four years of exploration, reading, talking, writing...but i have found peace of soul, something which i had never had before in my life. i have also found a little more self-confidence, self-strength, self-acceptance, and a creative expression that fills me with joy. ~smiles~

belle

 

[Impish]

well...

I knew the actual true submission for a given amount of time would not be easy for me, and yet I still felt and feel compelled. hmmmm. What I was surprised about was the conflicting emotions during a recent punishment... It has brought front and center how unconciously hard I have tried to be the "good girl" for years in many many relationships in my life. I think this process keeps you very aware.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[sloan]

What is my MOST??????

So far(im a newby with an inquisitive mind..... therein lies the answer) that my mind is my main sex organ, even when the other fails, for whatever reason! My mind, attached to my love and need to share on this higher plane of sexual reality, is paramount!!!!

 

[esclave_PP]

wow these are all wonderful responses! I hope that the whole community here chimes in!

 

[landcruisergal]

Very interesting observation.

I guess I always seemed to attract the"emotional vampires",the financial leeches,the agony aunt everyone cried to.A friend even admitted she had me jumping through hoops for her.Its taken a lot of soul searching to go down this path, but its a healthy outlet for what my nature demands. Or I could have easily led a life that was not my own...

 

[Never]

I’ll never have that orgy with RisiaSkye, cym, and s’lara so I can stop buying grape jello in bulk.

 

[esclave_PP]

awwwww no more jello? And here I thought i'd buy you that special wading pool Darn

 

[hurtme]

lol...I get the psychic vampire bit, I am often accused of being one myself...I think its part of the reason I love being subbie, I can just suck in all the energy directed at me, gives me a rush...and for anyone that doesn't believe in magick and energy flow and the patterns both can take, I may sound like a ravng loon, but you just...have to be there...

 

[AngelicAssassin]

lol...I get the psychic vampire bit, I am often accused of being one myself...I think its part of the reason I love being subbie, I can just suck in all the energy directed at me, gives me a rush...and for anyone that doesn't believe in magick and energy flow and the patterns both can take, I may sound like a ravng loon, but you just...have to be there...

Different perspective, but nice to hear. i usually think of it in the opposite direction. i would drive her into subspace and leave her warm, dark, and at peace while everything i'd taken would make me glow, not lay still, and wander the house the rest of the night. Then again, i've always been and will be a vampire.