What is wrong with us?

[Jenny_Jackson]

We have a war in Iraq. Another war in Afghanistan. The Iranians are telling us to go fuck ourselves. Suicide bombers are blowing up shit all over the world.

So what's the BIG STORY today. Tiger (fucking) Woods screwed around on his wife.

(Shaking head)

 

[lance gt]

I guess people are tired of the wars and want something closer to home to relate to. Tiger and his wood seem to be the right thing to think on. Everyone thought he was Mr. Wholesome and are surprised to find he's a perv like the rest of them. Ahh sex, the great equalizer of man.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Here's the plan.

Elect me Fascist Emperor of the Americas and we'll do this: Conquer effing places worth having. Like France. We'll conquer them and give every American girl cases of perfume, wine, and dresses or lingerie or whatever. Each American soldier gets a lot on the Riviera and a vineyard. Then we'll invade, I dunno, maybe Hawaii or Tahiti. Then, oh!, Bourbon County, Kentucky.

 

[lance gt]

Here's the plan.

Elect me Fascist Emperor of the Americas and we'll do this: Conquer effing places worth having. Like France. We'll conquer them and give every American girl cases of perfume, wine, and dresses or lingerie or whatever. Each American soldier gets a lot on the Riviera and a vineyard. Then we'll invade, I dunno, maybe Hawaii or Tahiti. Then, oh!, Bourbon County, Kentucky.

Ya can't take Canada, And leave our Maple Syrup alone. Take the snow instead, we got plenty of that.

 

[TxRad]

There are slow news days even in wars.

Anyway all of congress is home for the holidays so none of them are available for a fucking around on the wife story. Of course that's old news.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Ya can't take Canada, And leave our Maple Syrup alone. Take the snow instead, we got plenty of that.

I'm gonna get your effing cows and make you move to NewFoundland.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Didn't Seacat already start this thread?

Only he wanted the newspapers to pay attention to murder stories. He didn't really mention bombs or wars.

 

[lance gt]

I'm gonna get your effing cows and make you move to NewFoundland.

Yes, the Big Rock. Great place to be. Our cows will be more than happy to go south for the winter. They get tired and sore from making ice cream flow through their udders.

 

[jacks4u]

sad that is, that the pervs running newsrooms focus on the sensational fallibilities of a fucking golfer rather than important shit. like healthcare reform. like our fucked up economy, unemployment or any number of other things - like the guy they shot dead for killing 4 cops (was he really the perp?

The news media really sux like that.

JBJ,

Try giving every soldier a 'French maid' to ease the pressures of war.

 

[sr71plt]

The biggest story in my region is the Salahis (who I've met--real dingalings) crashing Obama's first White House dinner. That, at least, is a more fun read.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

He hit a hydrant then a tree - couldn't he choose between a wood and a driver?

Normally he never drives less than 300 yards, Whoops.

Tiger has loads of cars. This is a first time he has a hole in one.

Tiger's wife is the first person to beat him with a golf club.

Tiger was really affected by the crash, he's a little below par.

Just a stoopid way of saying what happened in Seattle meant so much more to me than some overpaid celeb having a domestic. Those guys were heros - Tiger is not.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The biggest story in my region is the Shalahis (who I've met--real dingalings) crashing Obama's first White House dinner. That, at least, is a more fun read.

This is my favorite news story of the moment.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

How about we conquer the Sand Democrats and take their oil? Free gas for Americans!

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

This is my favorite news story of the moment.

Those idiots now claim they stopped by the White House all dressed to kill just to see if the made the list.

They didn't get the rejection because their cell phone battery went dead. Presumably once the battery goes dead their voice mail is erased or something.

Un-fucking-believable.

 

[sr71plt]

He hit a hydrant then a tree - couldn't he choose between a wood and a driver?

Normally he never drives less than 300 yards, Whoops.

Tiger has loads of cars. This is a first time he has a hole in one.

Tiger's wife is the first person to beat him with a golf club.

Tiger was really affected by the crash, he's a little below par.

Just a stoopid way of saying what happened in Seattle meant so much more to me than some overpaid celeb having a domestic. Those guys were heros - Tiger is not.

At least it wasn't a Buick he'd crashed. That would have been embarrassing.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Those idiots now claim they stopped by the White House all dressed to kill just to see if the made the list.

They didn't get the rejection because their cell phone battery went dead. Presumably once the battery goes dead their voice mail is erased or something.

Un-fucking-believable.

Well aside from the silliness what really bothers me is this;

This president needs more security than pretty much any president before him. The FBI records daily death threats in the triple digits.

And a fancy-dressed couple bluffed their way right up to him.

Maureen Dowd says;
" Sneaking past the White House gates with the slippery Salahis, we catch a rare glimpse of a Secret Service, a social office and a Pentagon with glaring — and chilling — vulnerabilities and liabilities.

The Washington Post reported the Secret Service guard waved in the Salahis, breaking the rules, because he “was persuaded by the couple’s manner and insistence as well as the pressure of keeping lines moving on a rainy evening.”

Because Barack Obama has broken historic barriers and excites strong passions, he requires a heightened level of Secret Service protection. Now, he isn’t getting the minimum required.

Vetting guests does not involve emotion or leeway. Famous lawmakers like Pat Schroeder have been turned away after showing up without IDs."

(http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/02/opinion/02dowd.html)

 

[bronzeage]

"The Washington Post reported the Secret Service guard waved in the Salahis, breaking the rules, because he “was persuaded by the couple’s manner and insistence as well as the pressure of keeping lines moving on a rainy evening.”

I wouldn't want to be this guy.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I suspect he's back to work at the anti-counterfitting squad, probably effective the morning after the party!

 

[sr71plt]

"The Washington Post reported the Secret Service guard waved in the Salahis, breaking the rules, because he “was persuaded by the couple’s manner and insistence as well as the pressure of keeping lines moving on a rainy evening.”

I wouldn't want to be this guy.

I waiting for the other shoe to hit the floor--for certain parties to notice that Salahi is an Arab (Lebanese).

 

[3113]

Those idiots now claim they stopped by the White House all dressed to kill just to see if the made the list.

They didn't get the rejection because their cell phone battery went dead. Presumably once the battery goes dead their voice mail is erased or something.

Un-fucking-believable.

They got advice on making excuses from balloon-boy's parents

 

[3113]

We have a war in Iraq. Another war in Afghanistan. The Iranians are telling us to go fuck ourselves. Suicide bombers are blowing up shit all over the world....So what's the BIG STORY today. Tiger (fucking) Woods screwed around on his wife.

(Shaking head)

I said this in SeaCat's thread--I don't get why news about Tiger has everyone shaking their head as if the world's coming to an end. This is nothing new. Celebrities of a certain caliber are considered news. They always have been, they always will be. If the whole front page of the newspaper was devoted to Tiger, then I'd be seriously worried. But news of this sort or some other sort will always have a spot on the front page. Doesn't mean that the front page is ignoring Afghanistan or the ambush and murder of police officers.

My newspaper, at least, put news about Tiger down in the corner of the front page, and, after that initial story, all news on him has been in the sports pages. So I think it's not exactly right to say that he's dominating over the important stuff at least in "serious" newspapers and news channels.

Now, of course, we can discuss whether news should ever present celebrity gossip, or why people are so much more interested in celebrity gossip over news of war, etc. I'd certainly find that an interesting discussion. But celebrities (meaning entertainers be it entertaining with sports or in some other way) being news is nothing new. And newspapers (or tv news, or websites) reporting something that they think will attract people, however "un-news-like" isn't new either. This is because there is only one Tiger Woods; he is as "unique" in his way as a Mozart or an Einstein. And that means people are interested in him, emotionally invested, etc. If this was someone you cared about for some reason, some entertainer or someone you'd followed and were interested in, invested in, you'd want to hear that news, too.

But I guarantee you, that if the news from Afghanistan becomes something different than it has been over the last 8 years--which essentially is "someone died," if, for example, someone drops a hydrogen bomb on the region, or a suicide bomber blows up the White House, I promise, promise, promise you that Tiger will vanish completely from the news.

 

[lance gt]

It always makes me wonder, what if America just said, "Fuck you Iraq and Afghanistan, solve your own bullshit problems. We're bringing our men and women home. Your oil isn't worth the lives we've lost fighting your battles."
Do you think that would make the headlines before Tiger and the Sahalis?
I'm sure it would, but would probably share the page with Brittany becoming a mother again, or something similar.
Makes me wonder why the wars still rage over issues that don't involve America directly. Dumb fucks want to stir up shit over there, let them work it out themselves, so we can have our soldiers home where they belong and protect what's really important to the people.
Then reading about Tiger and the rest would be newsworthy.

 

[Skorpion49]

I get all the news I need from the weather report

What is wrong with us is that we allow the media to provoke us. It's very difficult to see the difference between ABC news and Hill Street Blues as an old Irishman once said, in an old song.

And an old Englishman once said this too, in an old song:

While his golden headed scandal sheets
Present their daily bite
To give their righteous news-bleeders
Drugs to keep them white

While outside in the whitewash
Where the guns are always, always right
A shooting star has summoned
Its dark angel from his night

I should point out that the author/poet is white and English but had the courage to attack his own system - which makes it all the more poignant.

The press are doing their job - selling more. It's our fault for buying into it. Just like everything else...

Let's grieve for all the good people who die needlessly each day, and celebrate that while the time slips fast away, there is time enough to laugh and play, around the fireside, making hay, dreaming of tomorrow...and try and make a difference today.

Perhaps by not wasting your money or clicks on those media giants who piss you off anyway??

 

[lance gt]

What is wrong with us is that we allow the media to provoke us. It's very difficult to see the difference between ABC news and Hill Street Blues as an old Irishman once said, in an old song.

And an old Englishman once said this too, in an old song:

While his golden headed scandal sheets
Present their daily bite
To give their righteous news-bleeders
Drugs to keep them white

While outside in the whitewash
Where the guns are always, always right
A shooting star has summoned
Its dark angel from his night

I should point out that the author/poet is white and English but had the courage to attack his own system - which makes it all the more poignant.

The press are doing their job - selling more. It's our fault for buying into it. Just like everything else...

Let's grieve for all the good people who die needlessly each day, and celebrate that while the time slips fast away, there is time enough to laugh and play, around the fireside, making hay, dreaming of tomorrow...and try and make a difference today.

Perhaps by not wasting your money or clicks on those media giants who piss you off anyway??

Good post Skorp. Nicely said

 

[JamesSD]

The word news does contain "new" in it. The Afghanistan and Iraq wars are both pretty old. Tension with Iran? Even older. The Tiger Woods thing is brand new. And it has sex in it.

You know what's great about the internet? If you're not interested in a story you can read something else.