What is this thing?

[tallblonde]

Hi! I don't quite know if this is the right forum for this question. My boyfriend and I are about to have sex for the first time, and I am a virgin (my boyfriend knows) and my boyfriend is a virgin too. Recently, I have asked that he finger me to bring me to orgasm, and he will. But the thing is, he says that when he sticks his fingers in my vagina, he feels a little "flap of skin." He says that it feels hard and that there seems to be a hole there, but he is too afraid to stick his fingers in there.

His fingers are about 6 inches long, and we don't know what this is. I have scheduled an appointment with my ob/gyn for December 13, but I really want to have sex before then. Is this my hymen? He feels this "flap of skin" when he sticks his fingers about 4 inches into me.

He doesn't want to hurt me with his penis (7 inches) so we would like to know what this is. I don't think that this is my cervix. Also, when he puts his fingers to one side on the area with the flap of skin, he can push his fingers in farther.

Thanks so much for your help, we really appreciate it.

Love,
Rita and Chris

 

[jadefirefly]

I'd guess that it probably is your hymen. I'm a bad reference, though, since I think mine was long gone by the time I first had sex. So I'm not really sure.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Sounds like it to me. Sounds fairly intact or maybe partially perforated. When he break through there's going to be some pain and a little bleeding, but that's normal. Just take it slow.

Any of you ladies want to give her some more info/advice on this? I know we've had a few threads on this lately, but this is the first time I've seen someone post about a firly intact hymen. Anything different here ladies?

 

[ickle_stace]

Sounds like it to me. Sounds fairly intact or maybe partially perforated. When he break through there's going to be some pain and a little bleeding, but that's normal. Just take it slow.

Any of you ladies want to give her some more info/advice on this? I know we've had a few threads on this lately, but this is the first time I've seen someone post about a firly intact hymen. Anything different here ladies?

im guessing its your hymen too

it will have had a little hole in the begin with, cos your period has to come from somewhere

just be careful when you have sex the first time, it might hurt a little when you have sex at first, and there will probably be a bit of blood

im guessing thats what it is though

 

[Undomiel]

I never could really figure out the hymen thing. I thought I had one but I didn't bleed or anything after first time sex. I guess I broke it with a tampon or something but everyone is different.

 

[Reba67]

Um, I don't mean to make fun, but are you sure about that finger length? I mean, I have big hands (hardly any women's gloves fit me and I wear a size 13 ring)......my longest finger is just over 3" long. I'm trying to imagine 6" fingers and I can't help but giggle.

 

[iioopp]

Your best bet is to have sex and go slow. It should break unless it's made of steel.

 

[SweetErika]

Ummm...your hymen would be on the outside, with the other external genitalia, NOT four inches in:

http://www.library.mun.ca/hsl/bates/Ch13-p405.jpg
http://www.the-clitoris.com/1r4/hymen/hymen6.jpg
More info on the hymen and lots of pics here

My guess is that he is feeling your cervix from your description. Apart from the vaginal walls, there's nothing else in there to feel if you have normal anatomy. There's a space by the cervix called the fornix (which is probably where he is when he can put his fingers "farther"):
http://www.afraidtoask.com/spSTD/anatwomenside.gif
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/0/06/300px-Cervix.jpg <------- The Cervix

Frankly, I'd wait until after the OBGYN appointment. A few weeks won't hurt anything, and you can continue exploring and preparing until then. Have the doc check you out, answer your questions, and she'd likely be happy to show you your cervix and other anatomy if you're curious. Your bf could even go with you, and could just come in after the exam if you're uncomfortable with him being there the whole time. Make sure you discuss your birth control options with the doctor as well. Even if you're using condoms, you'd be wise to have an effective back up.

 

[Sybarist]

When I was younger I had an extra flap of skin stretched across my vaginal opening. (Actually, it was more like a divider in that you could get in past it on either side) I had always thought it was remnants of my hymen, but when I first had sex, I got the pain and the blood but the dang was still there!!

It was very stretchy and didn't seem to get in the way of sex, but tampons did get caught on it and that was painful sometimes so I stopped using them. I asked my doctor about it and she said if it bothered me I could get it snipped but that it would most likely go on it's own and I would never notice...

Long story short, it finally got snipped when I had my first child. The nurse said these kinds of things are more common than most people realize!!

I would also suggest waiting for the doc's opinion on this one, although it's most likely nothing to be worried about, there are a few conditions out there that make sex a painful and horrible experience so it's better to be safe than sorry.

Syb.

 

[Blangis]

Hi all,

I don't mean to hijack the thread, but owing perhaps to inexperience I would like to know if anyone else here finds the following pictures somewhat unusual. I have seen a reasonable number of vagina's but never one bearing the qualities of this one. These are screenshots taken from the porno Private Classic Stories 16:
----------


http://premium1.uploadit.org/Ruskie//cnut-2.JPG

http://premium1.uploadit.org/Ruskie//cnut3.JPG

---------
Perhaps these two pictures do not fully convey all the subtle details, as you may see it is quite extensively manipulated in the video, but I think you get a decent impression. Is this just a particularly unique example or have I not been watching enough porn?

Thanks

 

[Eilan]

Um, I don't mean to make fun, but are you sure about that finger length? I mean, I have big hands (hardly any women's gloves fit me and I wear a size 13 ring)......my longest finger is just over 3" long. I'm trying to imagine 6" fingers and I can't help but giggle.

I was wondering this as well.

I'll bet Freddie Mercury's fingers were that long, though.

 

[SweetErika]

Blangis, the vulva in the pics doesn't seem particularly unusual, though it does look a little odd upside-down and with the labia spread like that. If you do a google image search for things like vulva, labia spread, etc., you'll see some similarities, plus a huge range in appearance. Vulvas are unique, just like the women they're attached to.

 

[Blangis]

Thanks, SweetErika

 

[TBKahuna123]

You know I never thought that vulva were all that different from each other. I think we need more research on this subject. How about some comparison photos?

OK, who's first?

Sorry, couldn't help it.

 

[TBKahuna123]

OK back on topic. Rereading the original post more closely, this very well might be your cervix. Is it really a flap or a hard button? I would be able to push a bit further around your cervix because it does stick out a bit from the back wall of your vagina (I cant' remember the name of that area ).

The hole he's refering to may just be feeling the indentation of the opening of your cervix, which is closed at the moment. As for depth, if you aren't totally aroused and are a virgin, it's not unlikely that 4" is about the max depth at the moment.

Heck we're all just spitballing here though. This is something you should ask your OBGYN. To be totally serious, without seeing/feeling the area in question, I'm not sure any of us can tell you for 100% sure what it is. I guess the best I can say is that it sounds mornal to me.

 

[tallblonde]

I measure my boyfriends fingers when I scheduled my doctors appointment so I could be sure to tell him about how far in this thing is. My boyfriend has unusually large hands and feet, a bit odd at first but you get used to it.

SweetErika, thanks so much for all your information. My boyfriend and I both looked at the pics, and we think that it might be my cervix. Thanks for the help.

We have both decided that we will wait until after my doctor's appointment. We would much rather be safe than sorry.

Love,
Rita and Chris

 

[tallblonde]

OK back on topic. Rereading the original post more closely, this very well might be your cervix. Is it really a flap or a hard button? I would be able to push a bit further around your cervix because it does stick out a bit from the back wall of your vagina (I cant' remember the name of that area ).

The hole he's refering to may just be feeling the indentation of the opening of your cervix, which is closed at the moment. As for depth, if you aren't totally aroused and are a virgin, it's not unlikely that 4" is about the max depth at the moment.

Heck we're all just spitballing here though. This is something you should ask your OBGYN. To be totally serious, without seeing/feeling the area in question, I'm not sure any of us can tell you for 100% sure what it is. I guess the best I can say is that it sounds mornal to me.

Chris (my bf) thinks that it is more like a hard button (sorry for my bad description).

I was just wondering what you meant about me being a virgin and depth. I don't think that my hymen is intact (after seeing the pics that SweetErika posted, thanks so much!!!) so I was wondering if you meant that my vagina is smaller because I have not had sex or what? Will my vagina ever be able to accomodate my bf (7 inches)?

Thanks so much for all your help! I really really appreciate it!

 

[Kinksville]

I think its great

that you and your BF are being responsible and waiting

 

[jadefirefly]

Chris (my bf) thinks that it is more like a hard button (sorry for my bad description).

I was just wondering what you meant about me being a virgin and depth. I don't think that my hymen is intact (after seeing the pics that SweetErika posted, thanks so much!!!) so I was wondering if you meant that my vagina is smaller because I have not had sex or what? Will my vagina ever be able to accomodate my bf (7 inches)?

Thanks so much for all your help! I really really appreciate it!

Yes, don't worry about that!

The vagina is a very stretchy thing. Much in the same way that it's difficult to tell exactly how large a penis is when it's flaccid, it's difficult to tell exactly how much a vagina will stretch.

For a while, it's entirely possible that you won't be able to accomodate all of him. Don't worry yourself over it. Make sure of two things:
-- Firstly, that there's enough lube. Make sure to get a good, non-flavored, water-based kind, and use plenty. For your first couple of times, it won't be unusual if you don't produce enough.
-- Go slow. And I don't mean just on penetration. Work up to it. Foreplay is not a sports term, and it is not optional!

In time, you two will fit together just fine. It's not a race or anything, so just enjoy the ride and take your time!

Also, -huge- kudos for waiting till you've had a chance to talk to your doc. It's great to see that kind of responsible decision-making.

 

[amiss]

Some Advice

Originally, I had a much longer message posted. Personally, I think that if it's a "flap of skin" it's likely your hymen, since the cervix is hard, distinctly round, etc. It's also not uncommon for a hymen to be situated partially up the vaginal canal. And with the average length of the canal being about 9 inches, I wouldn't worry about accommodating your boyfriend. It just might take some stretching.

As for the first time itself, I'd like to recommend a bottle of lube. You'll no doubt be nervous and somewhat tense, and the lube will really help with that.

Good luck!

*S

 

[amiss]

Lubricants

Firstly, that there's enough lube. Make sure to get a good, non-flavored, water-based kind, and use plenty. For your first couple of times, it won't be unusual if you don't produce enough.

Actually, 99% of water-based lubricants contain glycerin, which is a type of sugar. So they are likely to dry up (due to water evaporation), and then be sticky (because of the sugar). Although they're more expensive, silicone lubricants are much more effective. They are as safe as water-based lubes, but less likely to leave a sticky mess afterwards (the bad kind, anyway! )!

*S

 

[jadefirefly]

Actually, 99% of water-based lubricants contain glycerin, which is a type of sugar. So they are likely to dry up (due to water evaporation), and then be sticky (because of the sugar). Although they're more expensive, silicone lubricants are much more effective. They are as safe as water-based lubes, but less likely to leave a sticky mess afterwards (the bad kind, anyway! )!

*S

That's why I love these boards. SO much better info than you get anywhere else!

Thanks for the correction -- I'll definitely keep that in mind for the future!

 

[tallblonde]

Thanks for all the advice, just one more question: Does the penis fit under the cervix, or does anything fit under the cervix??

Thanks so much! I see the doctor in about 2 weeks, but I was just curious. I did some research on the question but I couldn't find anything.

 

[averageblonde]

All I know is that when you get more aroused the vagina expands and can accomodate up to any size penis. Thats also why some say that the first few thrusts are the most pleasurable because thats when the vaginas tightest. He may not be able to get all of it in you the first time, and I wouldnt even reccomend trying.

 

[TBKahuna123]

And with the average length of the canal being about 9 inches, I wouldn't worry about accommodating your boyfriend. It just might take some stretching.

9 Inches? Hmm... I thought I read somewhere on this board that the average vagina was 4 inches, and expanded to about 6 inches upon arrousal. A little help?

Anyway, I wouldn't worry about being able to accomodate your boyfriend. Take it slow and easy and you'll be just fine.