What is the opposite of a mistress?

[R. Richard]

The whole idea of a Mistress was (and presumably still is) that she's a second wife, belonging to the one man and not seeing other men. He provides for her as long as they're together, the same as he provides for a wife. Thus, a Mistress, was, and still to some extent, a relatively respectable term among a certain class of people. The respectability of a Mistress was (is?) in her "wife-like" position of being dependent on one man. But, obviously, the opposite was not usually true. Women didn't usually have control of the money, nor the opportunity to earn enough money to keep a man. So they rarely got the chance to have the male equivalent of a mistress. And men who relied such women for upkeep were looked down on. It was not "manly" to be supported by a woman.

You nailed it, 3113! A mistress is a second wife. She provides 'wife like services' for a rich, powerful man. Her role may also be social, as well as sexual.
If a woman attempts to hire 'husband like services,' the immediate question is always, "Why can't she attract a real man?" Thus, the man who provides husband like services is less than a real man.
A woman might accept the idea of her husband having a 'second wife.' In a few occasions, I have had lovers try to get me to accept a 'second lover.' My reply always has been and always will be short and to the point, "Goodbye."

 

[Stella_Omega]

Back in my het days I had boyfriends who told me I couldn't see anyone else and be with them. My reply was similar to Richard's; "Bye!"

 

[hotdamnazgirl]

Spare man?

The Earl

I personally like this one

 

[Verdad]

I was going to say “paramour”, but I thought you're just seeking a word other than “lover”. The who's keeping whom aspect didn't occur to me.

 

[itismeinnz]

I was going to say “paramour”, but I thought you're just seeking a word other than “lover”. The who's keeping whom aspect didn't occur to me.

Smile, as you posted this I was looking up paramour. My dictionary simply defines it as lover, but for some reason it stuck in my mind as meaning a bit more, such as "kept". Seems I was wrong.

 

[mynameisben]

If a married man is seeing someone, she is his mistress. If a married woman is seeing someone, what is his "title"?

If we're talking about the same married couple, then his title would most likely be Mr. Divorce Attorney.