What is the most damage your cat has ever done to your privates?

[Hamletmaschine]

Okay, so I'm sitting here in my chair, working away at the computer--or passing time here at lit.--and my cat comes in (15 lbs. of heavenly joy) and jumps in my lap.

I'm sitting here in boxer shorts and a t-shirt and my balls get squished when this bowling ball of a cat lands on 'em. But I love my cat, so I don't throw her up against the wall or anything, and so she takes that as her cue to start that titty-sucking thing with her claws, right on my crotch.

So now I've got squished balls and her claws buried in my dick, and I know if I try to remove them, it's only gonna get worse.

So ... while I'm sitting here wondering what to do, tell me how much damage your cat has done to your privates....

 

[Starblayde]

her claws buried in my dick

i once got a cat scratch on the old johnson.... not without pain....

 

[AzureAngel]

In an experiment to lenghten Pensi (The Cock Monster), I coated him with a special serum and had my cat (Niles) chomp down on the head and hang there for a day. It didn't work. And now, when I urinate, it goes in 5 directions. Sigh.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

[Starblayde]

rotflmfao

 

[navarre]

My little darling Masha was walking on top of the headboard last night.
She decided that she wanted down.
Dad was half asleep so........
She took a flying leap.....
and landed smack on my balls!
*GROAN*

 

[badasschick]

so she takes that as her cue to start that titty-sucking thing with her claws, right on my crotch.

I know what you mean.

The DUDE has a cat and appearrently I'm the only one she likes, so when I sleep over she hops up on the bed and sleeps between my legs and kneads my crotch all night.

He says that she's only done this with me. I don't understand, I mean its not like I'm "fishy" down dere. I guess she just learned by his example.

When I'm not around she sleeps in her cat bed.

 

[Starblayde]

lucky pussy...

 

[freescorfr]

Okay, so I'm sitting here in my chair, working away at the computer--or passing time here at lit.--and my cat comes in (15 lbs. of heavenly joy) and jumps in my lap.

I'm sitting here in boxer shorts and a t-shirt and my balls get squished when this bowling ball of a cat lands on 'em. But I love my cat, so I don't throw her up against the wall or anything, and so she takes that as her cue to start that titty-sucking thing with her claws, right on my crotch.

So now I've got squished balls and her claws buried in my dick, and I know if I try to remove them, it's only gonna get worse.

So ... while I'm sitting here wondering what to do, tell me how much damage your cat has done to your privates....

You are a master of narrative fiction Hamletsmachine. I think your doctor might almost believe you.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I am incabable of writing fiction, Free. I have been known to depart from a literalist interpretation of the facts on occasion, but I don't make it up whole cloth.

 

[lovetoread]

I have had two sets of claw marks on my breasts.

Yep one on each boob.

Damn kitties.

 

[roxie]

Mine have been known to use me for a launchpad..not so good if you sleep in the buff. For the most part, they get my legs tho, they have this thing for using my legs for a speed bump.

 

[windsandstarz]

I don't have a cat.

There is only ONE kind of pussy gettin' anywheres NEAR my privates.

 

[Cheyenne]

My cats are declawed. They also like to walk on top of me while I sleep. I end up with bruises just the size of kitty paws. I tend to bruise easily on my breasts, for some reason.

 

[Sillyman]

They have occasionally used me as a in-between space from going from one point to another, but most of the older cats in the house know bettter than to do that twice.

My cat of course is prone to biting and clawing and anything that touches him, although only lightly, so I know to handle him with kid gloves.

 

[TantaLiza]

Understand the wild pussy thing....lol

Got a couple of them myself...they like to lay all over me at one time or another...sometimes both at the same time!...Have plenty of scars on legs, belly and breasts...killer claws at times!! My kitty man is the worst...he loves to sleep between my thighs! Warmest place in the whole house....

Liza

 

[jubilee]

Most damage?

I'd say that was my telephone bill