What is LSASS.EXE and

[Sir_Winston54]

why does it keep shutting me down?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

why does it keep shutting me down?

One possible answer.

Click me.

Still using Internet Bend me Over and Explore my Ass?

Possible process to try ... Click me.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Thanks, AA - working on getting rid of the problem (probably Sasser or a variant) now... <sigh> what a pita.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Thanks, AA - working on getting rid of the problem (probably Sasser or a variant) now... <sigh> what a pita.

Hey!

i like pita bread. You can stuff it with all kinds of interesting things. Kinda like ... never mind.

 

[jasonlf]

Yep. That's sasser.

Time for Jay's general computer maintainence plan:

Uninstall ALL antivirus programs.

Go to http://free.grisoft.com and get AVG Free. It's by far the best virus scanner, and it's free.

Then, go to http://www.download.com/Ad-Aware-SE...045910.html?part=dl-ad-aware&subj=dl&tag=top5 here and download AD-Aware .... make sure to click "check for updates" and run the updates, then do a full scan. Delete any offending entries. (run a scan ~once a week)

Next step is to point your computer to http://windowsupdate.microsoft.com, choose express install, and install the patches. (note: go to this URL multiple times, until it says no more updates available)

Finally, go to www.getfirefox.com, and get Mozilla Firefox web browser, and use it in lieu of Internet Explorer. It's better (Tabbed browsing, among others), and it's safer by many degrees of magnitude.

That will keep your computer about as safe as you can get it.

 

[Marquis]

Yep. That's sasser.

Time for Jay's general computer maintainence plan:

Uninstall ALL antivirus programs.

Go to http://free.grisoft.com and get AVG Free. It's by far the best virus scanner, and it's free.

Then, go to http://www.download.com/Ad-Aware-SE...045910.html?part=dl-ad-aware&subj=dl&tag=top5 here and download AD-Aware .... make sure to click "check for updates" and run the updates, then do a full scan. Delete any offending entries. (run a scan ~once a week)

Next step is to point your computer to http://windowsupdate.microsoft.com, choose express install, and install the patches.

Finally, go to www.getfirefox.com, and get Mozilla Firefox web browser, and use it in lieu of Internet Explorer. It's better (Tabbed browsing, among others), and it's safer by many degrees of magnitude.

That will keep your computer about as safe as you can get it.

Is FireFox really better?

I don't want to switch just to fight the monopoly.

 

[jasonlf]

Is FireFox really better?

Firefox doesn't get spyware. It's as simple as that.

Opera. Firefox. Mozilla. Netscape. I don't care which one, but IE is the only browser that has such large vulnerability to spyware.

Yes, Firefox is quite better. In fact, I don't know how I'd surf this forum without tabs (middle click every-newpost-topic to open it in a new tab, then close them as I read them).

 

[ghosst_K&H]

Yep. That's sasser.

Time for Jay's general computer maintainence plan:

Uninstall ALL antivirus programs.

Go to http://free.grisoft.com and get AVG Free. It's by far the best virus scanner, and it's free.

Then, go to http://www.download.com/Ad-Aware-SE...045910.html?part=dl-ad-aware&subj=dl&tag=top5 here and download AD-Aware .... make sure to click "check for updates" and run the updates, then do a full scan. Delete any offending entries. (run a scan ~once a week)

Next step is to point your computer to http://windowsupdate.microsoft.com, choose express install, and install the patches.

Finally, go to www.getfirefox.com, and get Mozilla Firefox web browser, and use it in lieu of Internet Explorer. It's better (Tabbed browsing, among others), and it's safer by many degrees of magnitude.

That will keep your computer about as safe as you can get it.

I agree with most of this post, but not all...

Before you download ANY antivirus, or spyware programs you should update your windows program, preferably with service pack 2.

Then go ahead and download AVG, and another program called Zone Alarm, you can find them here

I'll be honest and say I don't like Ad-Aware, and prefer using Yahoo's anti-spy program.

You may also want to run Registry Mechanic, to fix any problems in your computer's registry, that also can be found at Downloads.com.

 

[ghosst_K&H]

Is FireFox really better?

I don't want to switch just to fight the monopoly.

Yes Firefox is much better.

 

[Marquis]

Alright motherfuckers! I am going to download FireFox!!

If this shit is not better, I am going to be PISSED!!

 

[rosco rathbone]

Haha! the lsass fucking thing.

I had to send my unit to the shop to get rid of that. Now I have full on virus protection, firewall , firefox and all that shit.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Firefox doesn't get spyware. It's as simple as that.

Not quite true. You get asked if you'd like to install plug-ins at some sites. If you don't know what the hell the plug-in does, don't.

Spyblaster and another i used to use both have provisions for Firefox use. i picked up a java based glitch while browsing with FF, but Norton immediately nuked it. The vulnerablities exist, but you can control them. With all the uninformed still using Explorer-my-ass, the individuals producing malware have no need to go after a smaller population.

 

[rosco rathbone]

The only reason firefox "doesnt get spyware" is that the hackers haven't targeted it yet. And in fact, recently, surfing super-high-risk sites (song lyrics =Pointer Sisters "The Neutron Dance"), I got a browser hijack attempt on my firefox that had to be handled by my MacAfee.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... in fact, recently, surfing super-high-risk sites (song lyrics =Pointer Sisters "The Neutron Dance"), I got a browser hijack attempt on my firefox that had to be handled by my MacAfee.

You know what? i think i got clipped looking for lyrics as well. Try this site in the future. The database seems rather inclusive, and i know i didn't get obscenely fondled in the process.

Click me.

It doesn't have them, by the way, but here they are from an alternate source.

NEUTRON DANCE
The Pointer Sisters

I don't want to take it anymore
I'll just stay here locked behind the door
Just no time to stop and get away
'Cause I work so hard to make it everyday

Whoo oooh
Whoo oooh

There's no money falling from the sky
'Cause a man took my heart and robbed me blind
Someone stole my brand new Chevrolet
And the rent is due, I got no place to stay

Whoo oooh
Whoo oooh

(Chorus)
And it's hard to say
Just how some things never change
And it's hard to find
Any strength to draw the line
I'm just burning doin' the neutron dance
I'm just burning doin' the neutron dance

Industry don't pay a price that's fair
All the common people breathing filthy air
Roof caved in on all the simple dreams
And to get ahead your heart starts pumping schemes

Chorus

Whoo oooh
Whoo oooh
I'm on fire
I'm on fire


Chorus

I know there's a pot of gold for me
All I got to do is just believe
I'm so happy doin' the neutron dance
And I'm just burning doin' the neutron dance
I'm so happy doin' the neutron dance
I'm just burning doin' the neutron dance​

 

[Marquis]

Damn! This kinda shit is really going on!

I NEVER thinnk about "hijacks".

This could be why my computer occassionally reboots itself.


There was a time I thought of myself as a computer nerd.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

There was a time I thought of myself as a computer nerd.

Much to learn have you, young padawan.

First lesson. Never pull your light saber unless you plan to use it.

And as an absolute hijack ...

You might be a REDNECK JEDI if ...

• You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
• Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
• You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
• At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
• You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
• You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
• The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
• Wookies are offended by your B.O.
• You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
• You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
• Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
• You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
• If you use R-2 to "light up" an SO's day, you're just DVS.
• You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
• You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
• You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
• Although you'da had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
• Then again, appreciation for his work puts you in the right forum at Lit.
• You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
• You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
• If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father...and your uncle"

 

[TaintedB]

I agree with most of this post, but not all...

Before you download ANY antivirus, or spyware programs you should update your windows program, preferably with service pack 2.

Then go ahead and download AVG, and another program called Zone Alarm, you can find them here

I'll be honest and say I don't like Ad-Aware, and prefer using Yahoo's anti-spy program.

You may also want to run Registry Mechanic, to fix any problems in your computer's registry, that also can be found at Downloads.com.

I use a combo of 3-5 spyware programs as one product never catches them all. The reason I need so many is because I stick with IE. Tried Firefox, kept using it for three weeks even though I hated it (it really screwed with a lot of specialized things I do with a browser and for me, the tabs sucked) simply because of the rep, and finally switched back to The Old Vulnerability.

I'd like a link to the yahoo spyware software if you have it. I sometimes install their popup stopper (then uninstall it for various reasons) but didn't know they'd gone into anti-spyware as well.

With any sort of spyware or virus, all you have to do is google it: type the full name at google and then patiently read through the results. Often the name you type will be a synonym for or a subfile of a larger piece spyware, so as soon as you find the main name, you then have to google that. You'll find numerous solutions to getting rid of it: both manual and automatic.

I got a particuluarly pernicious spy a couple of months ago, crusing clipart carelessly (like lyrics, a very dangerous neighborhood). None of the exisiting anit-spyware programs could get rid of it, none of the specific manual solutions and autofixes worked. It was kind of new then, that was probably why But I kept reading and eventually found the only fix that did it. Apparently in the US spyware companies are requied by law to provide uninstall instructions of their software somewhere on their website. Some guy had found a link to the uninstall instructions on the spyware company's home page, downloaded their uninstaller and applied it the way they said, and it worked perfectly. His link didn't work for me, but once I knew what to aim for a simple serach turned it up. The "if all else fails try the spyware company" solution worked for me, too.

 

[shy slave]

Thanks, AA - working on getting rid of the problem (probably Sasser or a variant) now... <sigh> what a pita.

A spelling error!!

From Sir_W!!!

Then immortalised by AA in a quote post

God, Could my day get any better??

 

[shy slave]

Much to learn have you, young padawan.

First lesson. Never pull your light saber unless you plan to use it.

And as an absolute hijack ...

You might be a REDNECK JEDI if ...

• You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
• Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
• You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
• At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
• You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
• You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
• The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
• Wookies are offended by your B.O.
• You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
• You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
• Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
• You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
• If you use R-2 to "light up" an SO's day, you're just DVS.
• You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
• You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
• You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
• Although you'da had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
• Then again, appreciation for his work puts you in the right forum at Lit.
• You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
• You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
• If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father...and your uncle"

 

[catalina_francisco]

The joys of cyberspace...as F says, you will never be 100% protected, but you do need to use whatever you can to give you the optimal protection. I am just grateful he does this professionally and saves my arse when needed, of course, usually with a bit of a grumble (not always though) and a list of what I should and shouldn't have done. Porn sites are notorious for picking up all the crap, literally.

Catalina

 

[h_i_s]

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. So, here's mine.

That will keep your computer about as safe as you can get it.

Staying offline is the safest. You do offer some good advice jasonlf, and .......
There is not one antivirus program offered which can stand by it's claim of being guaranteed to guard your PC 100% (even with all Microsoft Critical Updates installed).

Every time we connect to the internet, it's like our PC is having sex with many other PCs out there. Even if a condom big enough to fit over an entire PC is finally offered sometime in the next millenium .... we all know, even condoms are not offered as being 100% effective in the interests of safe sex. The only 100% method is abstinence.

It doesn't matter to me which one you run. So many will claim THIS ONE is best, or THAT one sucks ... etc ect. It all depends on what your experiences have been with one or another really. It also comes into play that, some less experienced to PCs will find one or another to be 'easier' in their understanding of how to use whichever program we would be speaking of. i place my opinions of which to use into the category of 'WWFY' .... 'whatever works for you'. i don't care which, as long as it's data bases on recent viruses released to the internet, updates regularly ... it will do just fine. And, for those who may question, yes, i've tried them all. First time i ever touched a PC and stepped online was in early 2001. i was a newbie to the internet, & as green to PCs ... as they come. When i had a problem with my PC it always pissed me off enough for me to get my ass into gear and LEARN to keep my PC as safe as possible. my PC became infected more times than i could count back then (due to user error) yet i never had to run a manufacturer reinstall/reformat even once. i don't have all of the answers and make no claim to such, however ...

Another step, which will increase the odds in safe guarding a PC, is to make use of the option of an additional antivirus program as a second opinion to the first:

i've been using (since 2001) Housecall's PC-cillin in addition to the antivirus program installed on my PC. It's a free online scan. i run it afterwards, just to be sure. On more than one occasion, it has found stuff on my PCs that AVG, Norton, and McAfee have all missed (like the one virus that killed my Compaq CPU, & Motherboard in 2003.. badly enough that the modem & video slots became so overheated that they were melted/warped). --Before anyone takes a shot at making fun of my having a Compaq, it WAS 2001, Compaq was a good deal then compared to most/what i could afford. After that nightmare, i had this PC custom built .. and that's another story which would take us off topic.


And, still another step, which will increase the odds in safe guarding a PC, is to realize that the AV-program you are running may not be capable of detecting and cleaning trogans. Many out there won't. Simplysup offers "Trogan Remover" it's a trogan detector/cleaning program. It was written to aid in the removal of Trojan Horses and Internet Worms when standard anti-virus software has either failed to detect the problem or is unable to effectively eliminate it. You can try it free for 30 days (and if you know how to clean your registry and eliminate it afterwards ... use it again. ), full purchase price is $29.95.

Most AV-programs can't get into the registry and therefore, fail to detect all trogans, worms and viruses. Running a good registry cleaning program is another step which will increase the odds in safe guarding a PC. i use Registry First Aid. It has found what everything else (trogan cleaners & AV-programs, and the second opinions of online scans to be included) has failed to detect, and it corrects most issues, as well.

Off topic on the discussion of pc viruses etc, but ... eliminating adware is also important in keeping your PC purring and in top performance. i use Lavasoft's Ad-Aware . Ad-Aware is designed to provide advanced protection from known Data-mining, aggressive advertising, Parasites, Scumware, selected traditional Trojans, Dialers, Malware, Browser hijackers, and tracking components.

i've been doing all of this since early 2003. and i am lucky to be able to say that my PC has yet to fail me with any major issues concerning virus/trogan/worm infection.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Posted from a friend's computer ...

... because now I can't even boot mine

When I try to boot, I get a blue screen that says something about "Windows has been shut down" blah, blah "unmountable boot volume" blah, blah. I've tried booting in Safe Mode, Safe Mode w/ Networking, Last Known Good Configuration, Normal mode - goes back to the blue screen. This is after running a full AVG scan, AdAware and Spybot and getting rid of all they recommended. Shut down for the night after that, and woke up to this.

I need some good help here, Litsters - without a working computer, I'm completely screwed - no communications device, and no way to make my living. To those of you who are really good at this sort of thing -

HELP!

 

[h_i_s]

Thanks, AA - working on getting rid of the problem (probably Sasser or a variant) now... <sigh> what a pita.

HELP for Sir_Winston54 ...........

Sir_Winston54, if you are still having issues related to that LSASS.EXE ... a good friend of mine is a virus PRO, ie: one of the best. He loves cleaning PCs, and is very capable of doing so in a PM with you at Yahoo. He doesn't get paid for this, is trusted and reputable as well as quite knowledgeable with SASSER and has been VOLUNTEERILY cleaning PCs online ... since at least 2000 (probably longer though, that's just when i found him in an online chat at yahoo). THIS is ALL he does online (yes, he has a life .. and this keeps him out of trouble he says), and last i heard (about 3 months ago) he does it FREE of charge. If he can't help you (and i'm sure he can as he is credited for discovering at least 3 of the variants of the SASSER worm) ... no one online will.

You can contact him here if you like, and if you tell him 'sheer' sent you ... i'm sure he'll help you out. Before contacting him, he has instructions you'd follow to 'prep' your PC prior to his helping you in solving any issues.

Follow instructions at his website: Virus Pros & then, as it says there (scroll down to the bottom) :

You can turn your system on again and get on-line help from between the hours of 4:00pm - 11:00pm EASTERN STANDARD TIME USA Monday thru Saturday at the Yahoo! Chat Server (Yahoo! Chat at http://chat.yahoo.com ), Room Yahoo! Chat Help:1 (found under the listings for "Computers & Internet"), ask for Happy_Virus_99.

If you use Yahoo Messenger, send a request to add him (happy_virus99) to your friends list (& in doing so specify a note saying 'sheer' sent you to him) ... then, private message him from Yahoo Messenger.

i'm guessing you may be on another PC rather than the one which is infected ... and,
Hope this helps you out in time ... i already sent him a PM telling him i am referring you to him .. in case you decide to contact him.... which should bump you up on his list of ppl to help.

 

[ghosst_K&H]

I'd like a link to the yahoo spyware software if you have it. I sometimes install their popup stopper (then uninstall it for various reasons) but didn't know they'd gone into anti-spyware as well.

With any sort of spyware or virus, all you have to do is google it: type the full name at google and then patiently read through the results. Often the name you type will be a synonym for or a subfile of a larger piece spyware, so as soon as you find the main name, you then have to google that. You'll find numerous solutions to getting rid of it: both manual and automatic.

yahoo anti-spy

 

[ghosst_K&H]

... because now I can't even boot mine

When I try to boot, I get a blue screen that says something about "Windows has been shut down" blah, blah "unmountable boot volume" blah, blah. I've tried booting in Safe Mode, Safe Mode w/ Networking, Last Known Good Configuration, Normal mode - goes back to the blue screen. This is after running a full AVG scan, AdAware and Spybot and getting rid of all they recommended. Shut down for the night after that, and woke up to this.

I need some good help here, Litsters - without a working computer, I'm completely screwed - no communications device, and no way to make my living. To those of you who are really good at this sort of thing -

HELP!

Try a registry repair program like Registry First Aid or Registry Mechanic

One of these should help because it's an .exe file you're trying to fix.