What is it?

[impressive]

What is it about love that won't let us just LET GO -- just TURN IT OFF -- when it's clear that we're being harmed? Why doesn't some self preservation mechanism kick in to save us from ourselves? We pull our hands from fire to avoid being burned, after all.

And what would the world look like if we COULD?

 

[Guest]

I thought "What is it" was the start of a Leslie Neilsen tribute ("Its a large white building with sick people, but that isn't important now.")

To answer your question, I think it is the species preservation instinct that drives two people together and tries to keep them together no matter what. The fundamental, instinctive drive to reproduce.

What would the world look like without it? Maybe 1/3 the people, less homelessness, less starvation.

 

[sophia jane]

Wow. Imp- are you living in my head?? Because I could sure use the answer to this.
My big love quesiton is- how much pain is it(love) really worth before the price is too high?

Wish I could give you an answer, but I'm totally lost on this.

SJ

 

[impressive]

My big love quesiton is- how much pain is it(love) really worth before the price is too high?

How much counter-productive obsessing? How much angst? How much waiting and wanting and hoping and crying?

I want an ON/OFF switch, please!

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Its teh basic power of love itself that makes it so difficult to extinguish. That spark, that urge, whatever may have ignited it, it refuses to be extinguished because it is the thing that we all crave, to love and be loved.

And for those times when that fire is lit by a an errant ember, it is a fire none the less. As much as we want to put it out it is the self same fire even though we know it burns destructively. Were it easy to snuff so too would our beneficial loves.

Call me a romantic but without it, the world would be a much darker place.

 

[sophia jane]

How much counter-productive obsessing? How much angst? How much waiting and wanting and hoping and crying?

I want an ON/OFF switch, please!

Me too, Imp. Me too.

SJ

 

[minsue]

Love is not elective. It would be easier if it was, but nowhere near as exhilarating or powerful.

 

[impressive]

Love is not elective. It would be easier if it was, but nowhere near as exhilarating or powerful.

... or destructive. *sigh*

 

[minsue]

... or destructive. *sigh*

Yes, that too.

 

[impressive]

Call me a romantic but without it, the world would be a much darker place.

Darker for those in the arms of their loves. For those the need is killing, however ...

 

[mlady_france]

How much counter-productive obsessing? How much angst? How much waiting and wanting and hoping and crying?

I want an ON/OFF switch, please!

And when does it end.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

How much counter-productive obsessing? How much angst? How much waiting and wanting and hoping and crying?

I want an ON/OFF switch, please!

Me too!

 

[sophia jane]

Something I wrote a few weeks ago, when I was thinking of these thing.

most days I say
the risk is worth
the reward.

but I am empty:
all of me
taken,
given,
yours-
what’s left for me?

who is here
to pick up my pieces?
who is here
to hold,
touch,
reassure-

there is none
and I am full
of loneliness,
too tired for tears,
too afraid to let go,
knowing that there are days
when simply loving you is enough.


SJ

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Are we sure it's love with the power and not hope?

 

[Guest]

Are we sure it's love with the power and not hope?

You nailed it!

There's nothing wrong with love in my book.

 

[Liar]

It's the age old conflict of a society and human spirit that evolved way much faster than our monkey brain did. So our instincts react in a way that was healthy for us a hundred thousand years ago, but aren't healthy at all today.

A confused heart is the price we have to pay for being the pinnacle of the creation, it seems. It sucks, but it's the homo sapiens sapiens' cross to bear.

#L

ps.

 

[impressive]

Are we sure it's love with the power and not hope?

When they co-exist, how can you be certain? One is inexorably tied to the other.

--

Liar, TY

 

[lucky-E-leven]

When they co-exist, how can you be certain? One is inexorably tied to the other.

--

Liar, TY

I have been in love before, and the situation was such that there was absolutely no hope. The love never did let go, but when the hope was gone the 'OFF' switch was activated. The love is still present even today.

~lucky

 

[impressive]

I have been in love before, and the situation was such that there was absolutely no hope. The love never did let go, but when the hope was gone the 'OFF' switch was activated. The love is still present even today.

~lucky

I don't share your experience, but I trust that it is your truth.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

And just what do you do if rationally you know there is no hope or things would be better by now, but you still cling to hope anyway?

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I don't share your experience, but I trust that it is your truth.

I'm not trying to be right, only see it from a different side. I see your side as well, and I've beat my head up against the same brick wall. Wanna know what I came up with? More hurt.

I wish it weren't so, but I think if there were a switch as you say, for self preservation, we'd not really learn anything. Just kind of bumble along, blissfully unaware of our own capacity for love. I guess in my mind, it's not about 'on' or 'off' but about somehow finding balance. I sometimes think love is so damn nagging simply for the purpose of self preservation. Without fighting for the love that won't be shut off, some suffer the end of their capacity to love even themselves.



Guess I'm not making things any better here. My thoughts are with all who suffer unrequited love or love that makes them hurt.

~lucky

 

[mlady_france]

I have been in love before, and the situation was such that there was absolutely no hope. The love never did let go, but when the hope was gone the 'OFF' switch was activated. The love is still present even today.

~lucky

That's exactly it, lucky. Love lasts, but hope can slowly fade away.

 

[Belegon]

The love I feel has caused me great pain at times...but also has brought great joy. Even if I could shut it off, I don't think I would. What I really can't define is the why. I don't think I'm masochistic. I definitely am full of hope. Still, I am lost for the why. I just can't nail it down.

But so much of my best has come out of it too. Not just my best poetry, or prose, but some of the acts that I feel are my best. Some of the times I feel I have made the best impact on a person's life.

I could do without all the heart-rending struggle perhaps. But I know so much more about myself and others through it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it....but I can't give it up...I crave that emotional edge like a skydiver craves the rush of jumping out of that perfectly good airplane. And I won't die from the fall....just the landing.

 

[TxRad]

To love, to be loved, to be part of something that makes us a whole, this is waht we all want, need and in the end crave. But and there is always a but, Love is an emotional tie and ties are sometimes broken or simply come unraveled. then we are left with the emotion and no contol and nowhere to place it.
At one time i thought i could never love, I thought that i had this missing piece or place but in hind sight I find I was wrong. I lost a wife of 25 years a while back and it broke me for a while. not because of a lost love but because she went and left me. Anger blinded me. That was 15 years ago. Now I just miss her and finally understand that love is something that you are given freely as a gift and it can be taken away.
You also give it as a gift and hopfully it is excepted and returned. When it's not or when it's betrayed you are left in limbo. Then only time or a new love can replace it. You can never turn it off as such, you can only forget it.
If you could turn it off you would lose part, maybe even the best part of what makes us human and special...

I'm not going to reread this as it's something i've never put into words before... i just hope it makes sense to someone...

 

[Guest]

To love, to be loved, to be part of something that makes us a whole, this is waht we all want, need and in the end crave. But and there is always a but, Love is an emotional tie and ties are sometimes broken or simply come unraveled. then we are left with the emotion and no contol and nowhere to place it.
At one time i thought i could never love, I thought that i had this missing piece or place but in hind sight I find I was wrong. I lost a wife of 25 years a while back and it broke me for a while. not because of a lost love but because she went and left me. Anger blinded me. That was 15 years ago. Now I just miss her and finally understand that love is something that you are given freely as a gift and it can be taken away.
You also give it as a gift and hopfully it is excepted and returned. When it's not or when it's betrayed you are left in limbo. Then only time or a new love can replace it. You can never turn it off as such, you can only forget it.
If you could turn it off you would lose part, maybe even the best part of what makes us human and special...

I'm not going to reread this as it's something i've never put into words before... i just hope it makes sense to someone...

It made perfect sense to me.