What is it about bondage that you like?

[InnerDarkness]

I have read some threads about bondage in the library, but I have some questions:

what is it about bondage exactly that you enjoy or like?

I have had very little experience with bondage (being bound) personally, but I have read about it, looked at pictures, watched to see what others like to use, techniques they use, etc etc etc

What feelings are produced when you are bound (or if you are the one doing the binding, expound on that)?

Does the intensity of the bondage create different experiences? ie...handcuffs and scarfs on the wrists versus spreader bars and chains, versus suspension?

If you are a PYL, why do you use bondage? I know all relationships are different, but why do YOU use bondage? And if you do not, why not?

I am just trying to get a little discussion going more on why people LIKE it, what they get out of it, and how the experience makes them feel on different levels.

I hope some of you can help me with my quest for info in this area

 

[NCShin]

I love to use bondage on my girl. She loves it too and while I can only speculate on her side of things, here is mine.

She looks awesome! I got some books on Shinbari, and bought some rope, cheap stuff at walmart and off we went. Our first time she was quite nervous, but of course i picked things that were fairly tame at first.

It was incredibly exciting for her (judging solely on clues her body let drip down her legs) and I was right with her.

In that particular bondage, she did say she got bored with it after a while, but I swear I could have just watched her for another few hours I never saw anything so sexy in my life.

The second time I think I made some of the knots too tight as she complained of pain in her shoulders and some friction and our session was cut a bit shorter than I had wanted.

Since then we've tried various other bondages all with great success. We usually spend a bit of time after discussing the good and bad points of how it all went. I'm still a beginner and we haven't done anything really serious with highly restricted movement but we'll get there.

I view it as fun, and sexy, not totally sexual if that makes sense.

I think she likes the loss of control, and I think it allows her to enjoy certain things that she might otherwise be self consious about.

 

[WriterDom]

I use leather restraints, play collars, and metal connectors. Ropes with pre-tied D rings, 2 spreader bars and an over the door D ring. And my the hog-tie leather + I like so much. It is so common in my play that I don't even think of it as bondage. That is what I like about restraints Vs direct. So easy and the possibilities are only limited by your imagination.

 

[Xelebes]

I think she likes the loss of control, and I think it allows her to enjoy certain things that she might otherwise be self consious about.

that's pretty much it for me. when you're bound, it feels like you can do no wrong. Bound to be free... heh heh.

 

[Netzach]

I prefer rope and mummification with pantyhose or tape or plastic, and I love latex/leather/lycra sacks, though I don't own one yet (c hecks payable to...heh) I'm dying to get someone in a vacbed. I also have leather cuffs and rings at the posts of my futon, but frankly M is the only one I use those on much, "sexable" bondage is hot, but even then more sexy to me if it's also artistic. Bondage is the destination, it's not just a convenient way to hold someone down and fuck them.

Why do I like bondage? Human sculpture, beautification, and a heavy level of objectification esp the latter. I was reading about a small female bondage collective in Japan, trained by a master rigger...these ladies tie inaninmate objects, not only people, as an art form, and when they tie people they tie them as they would objects. That jived with me.

 

[InnerDarkness]

So I am getting that for those doing the binding, it is more about creation...or enjoying the way their pyl looks...not, as Netzach said, just a convenient way to hold someone down to fuck them...
creating something aestetically (sp?) pleasing...

are there certain cirumstances that lead you to bondage? Is it part of your regular sexual interactions with your pyl?

for those being bound, what do you enjoy about it? The fact that your PYL wants to do it? Do you simply enjoy the fact that they enjoy the way you look?

Does anyone use bondage as their punishment rather than for your pleasure?

 

[princess4u]

i enjoy being bound because it reinforces my feeling of being owned - of truly belonging to him - i enjoy the feeling of being restrained when i really want to reach down to him or touch his face or touch myself - i love the feeling of being used by him in this manner

i love when he uses leather cuffs to bind me to the headboard and then uses a spreader bar

in our relationship, bondage is never used as a punishment

 

[shy slave]

I love being bound.
It makes me feel free of responsibilty and all decision-making.
I understand princess's view of being owned but, for me, there are other aspects of BDSM that reinforce 'ownership' more strongly than bondage.
When I am tied I feel mentally free.
The thought of being bound was one of the things that attracted me to this life style.
There is alot of info about sub-space but the pleasure of being tied and allowed to relax in bondage as part of a scene has, on one, occassion taken me to an almost meditative state.
Having all areas on display and obects attacted or inserted heightens the mind freedom it gives me. Verbally responding to Him is difficult at that point
After one scene I was allowed to wear the cuffs (undone) to a restaurant under some long sleeves. It was a wonderfully relaxing experience.
He binds my breasts and allows them to jut forward making the nipples very prominent. I cannot speak for Him but like other Dom/Mes who have posted He appears to enjoy the visual look of rope bondage.
Rope work is new to both of us, He understands I enjoy it and He is willing to gradually experiment and include into other aspects of our lives.

 

[PyroDemon]

Damn, I think the when I was a kid and I saw the Indians tie up some woman I was instantly turned on. Even all thru scouts every knot I learned I kept thinking how nice it would be to use to tie someone up. I like silk rope myself , leather cuffs and restraints, and sometimes what ever is around. How and why I use bondage determines what it is for. Punishment or pleasure. I like the creativity involved mostly.

 

[James G 5]

well, for one thing, it makes DAMN sure they hold still when I have the knife out

for another, when I put her in position & start wrapping the ropes around her, it's great mental preperation, helps us both to move in to the right space

it also gives me a much heightened feeling of both power AND responsibility to have her now truly "helpless" before me

a note here, I've read some interesting literature about women who can only have orgasms when they're in bondage
the women thus described have a lot of ghuilt & shame about sex, and so won't let themselves feel it enough to come
when they're bound, even tho they allowed it, their minds throw a switch...they are "helpless" and being "forced" so it's OK for them to come, since they dont' really want it & can't help it
of course, that just feeds back in to the shame loop

 

[JoseIsWild]

I like to tie my gf up for two reasons: 1) It is easier and more exciting to play with her because she can't cover herself and she is very ticklish so it helps to hold her still while I do anything I want to her body; and 2) as NCShin said, she looks awesome! There's nothing sexier than a gorgeous girl with her hands tied back.

Now, we don't do any extensive bondage with rope or anything. We only have about 3 pairs of handcuffs (2 leather, 1-metal) and a pair of ankle restraints. Or if I wanted to be more discreet...like were going out, she has some bracelets that could be connected together.

 

[Arles]

Damn, I think the when I was a kid and I saw the Indians tie up some woman I was instantly turned on. ...

LOL -- yes, now that I think of it, so did I!

I like it for a number of reasons already mentioned: the aesthetics of it, how she looks (shaking like a leaf and dripping like a leaky faucet), objectification, the mental space it puts us in.

Something about the way trust operates, or the way bondage works to build trust, is a key, I guess. Knowing that I can use her however I want, knowing that she wants to be used however I want, and trusting that I'll use her in ways that will be mutually enjoyable or interesting to us.

 

[James G 5]

Oh, and as I've mentioned before, my very first bondage play (before the age of sexual maturity) involved tieing girls up im imitation of Adam West with his Bat-Lasso

 

[Netzach]

My first bondage play was with me. I'm still the only bottom who does exactly what I want, every time.

 

[James G 5]

My first bondage play was with me. I'm still the only bottom who does exactly what I want, every time.

So you never have to punish yourself?
Where's the fun in that?

 

[cellis]

When I am bound, I am in his/her complete control. I feel safe and cared for.

 

[Netzach]

So you never have to punish yourself?
Where's the fun in that?

I'm Jewish. We believe in mental punishment.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

The feeling of helplessness. That wild, 'the top of my head's about to come off' feeling of total submission. To be bound and not in control from this point forward. The anticipation of what's coming next, digging new ropes and ties and straps out of the toy bag. His excitment growing with every new length of rope, each new knot. I'd really like to take some pictures next time......

 

[James G 5]

I'm Jewish. We believe in mental punishment.

Ah yes, like the play title, "Self Torture and Strenuous Exercise"
LOL

 

[posie]

it changes depending on restraints + day of the week! binding with rope is great as so ritualistic + looks amazing, i have some cuffs/restraints but then it's just the power being taken away from me, the actual stretching and tension of my body in an unrelaxed position adds to the sensations and i feel like a purely sexual object to be used in any way.
when using non-specific restraints like gaffer tape, stockings, torn clothes i feel even more violated + is amazing for 'forced' scenarios