What is a "sister" in BDSM terminology?

[Mike_Yates]

In BDSM terminology, what does it mean to be a "brother" or "sister"?

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

It isn't the same for everyone. For some it's a poly family, for some it's that person's play partners.

For me, it is the people who I am closest to, my best friends, those I trust and who I would want as my family. We have each others backs.

 

[Kyla_girl]

I wouldn't call anyone my sister in the BDSM world that I wouldn't call my sister outside the BDSM world, biological family or otherwise.

I have heard some submissive women refer to all submissive women as their sisters (usually met with mixed responses). I have also heard Leathermen who are very close call each other brothers. I think you'll get a different answer from each person you ask.

 

[Super-Surprise]

 

[FurryFury]

I think the term usually applies to women the male dom brings into the relationship that you, in fact, resent.

 

[Mike_Yates]

I think the term usually applies to women the male dom brings into the relationship that you, in fact, resent.

So a "brother" or "sister" is someone who is under the same dom?

 

[CutieMouse]

So a "brother" or "sister" is someone who is under the same dom?

Not necessarily. Some people are under the (mistaken) assumption that being submissive creates some sort of automatic "bond". It's kind of one of those odd internet things, for the most part. Like capitalizing Dom or Master, and not submissive or slave. Or "slashy speak" (W/we would like Y/your opinion of the term "sister"; thank Y/you.)

It is also often used when a submissive woman is told to look for a unicorn - a single, young, hawt, bisexual, submissive, interested in joining an established couple, under the guise of establishing a poly family. In those instances, one may see online posts that are phrased as "seeking my submissive sister for blahblahblah most amazing blahblahblah Master [whom I've known online all of 3 days, and will abandon me if I don't give him the sexy threesome he's demanding]."

However, there are people who do have a familial or hierarchical setup, with multiple sumbissives or slaves, in which the members of the household may use "sister" or "brother" in reference to other members of the household.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I am a member of a Leather family. And in our family (not meaning this is universal in any way), the terms "brother" and "sister" mean that we are bound to one another in a familial way, sharing a mutual love and affection with our family of choice, as opposed to our family by blood.

We are not polyamorous, we do not live in the same house. Like many families, we are rather scattered by distance - I am in North Carolina, most of the family is in South Carolina, some are in Georgia, one is in Texas. Life has taken us where life has taken us. Our family has gay, straight, lesbian, bi, members... some of us are single, some are in relationships, and just like a blood family, the people we are in relationships with are not necessarily considered part of the family, even though we put up with them at family gatherings.

I am also a member of the Tarheel Leather Club. The members of the club are my "brothers" and "sisters", in a similar way to the sense of camaraderie and shared experiences and values that members of a military unit would consider their comrades to be brothers and sisters in arms.

The terms mean what they mean to the person using them, in a given situation. If you don't know what a person is meaning when they are using the terms, ask them.

 

[breastysadie]

I had a "Daddy" once who had three other girls in his "collection" (that's what he called us). We were all married and would sneak out during the day to go see Daddy, and sometimes we saw him together.

He always called the other girls my "sisters". As in, "Give your sister a kiss" and "watch your sister suck my dick."

Eventually I called them my sisters, too. It enhanced the taboo nature of my relationship with Daddy.

 

[spankedboy]

I had a "Daddy" once who had three other girls in his "collection" (that's what he called us). We were all married and would sneak out during the day to go see Daddy, and sometimes we saw him together.

He always called the other girls my "sisters". As in, "Give your sister a kiss" and "watch your sister suck my dick."

Eventually I called them my sisters, too. It enhanced the taboo nature of my relationship with Daddy.

that's hot. Did your husband (or theirs) eventually find out? What would you do had your husband found out?

 

[CollarAndFeather]

To me? A sub that I have a mentor-like bond with that goes both ways, with a touch of something more family-like.

 

[desertslave]

I think the term usually applies to women the male dom brings into the relationship that you, in fact, resent.

ROFL I'm writing that one down!

When I used to chat a bunch on IRC there were subs who insisted on the universal sister-sub thing. I mostly ignored it, but if someone messaged me and made friendly overtures I would try to make the 'sis' thing stop. Sometimes it worked, especially when it was explained to them that this wasn't a Universal Truth(tm) after all. Some got put on ignore.

 

[Kitty]

I think the term usually applies to women the male dom brings into the relationship that you, in fact, resent.

I was going to say.

 

[NickiC]

Many reasons. If you and another woman have the same Master then you are sisters. But for others it is not that. There are no clear answers to this because it is very personal

 

[lovecraft68]

You're all wasting your time and effort

He's looking for an answer that sounds like it came from the incest is best thread so he can take it back to the GB and laugh about it.

 

[LadyVer]

You're all wasting your time and effort

He's looking for an answer that sounds like it came from the incest is best thread so he can take it back to the GB and laugh about it.

I'm surprised to see Mike on a BDSM forum. I'm still not sure what to think of Mike. Is he for real, or is he an alt? We'll probably never know.

Hope you are doing well.

 

[desertslave]

You're all wasting your time and effort

He's looking for an answer that sounds like it came from the incest is best thread so he can take it back to the GB and laugh about it.

Ohhhh that's why I had him on ignore!