What is a man to do? Tough Moral and Ethical Choices

[scorpiosting]

I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post this. I'm sure a mod. will let me know.

Last fall, my wife was hit by a drunk driver. She went from being a vivacious lively woman to now having a traumatic brain injury, paralyzed on her right side, wheelchair bound, caught between having logic and understanding of a pre-teen/adult. Most of the time, she cannot tell you the consequences of cause and effect.

Sure I could go out and cheat on her in order to get sex. But than I would feel like shit. It isn't her fault.

Appreciate life and what you have in life while you have it, because it may all be taken from you in the blink of an eye.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

You want permission to sleep with her sister.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post this. I'm sure a mod. will let me know.

Last fall, my wife was hit by a drunk driver. She went from being a vivacious lively woman to now having a traumatic brain injury, paralyzed on her right side, wheelchair bound, caught between having logic and understanding of a pre-teen/adult. Most of the time, she cannot tell you the consequences of cause and effect.

Sure I could go out and cheat on her in order to get sex. But than I would feel like shit. It isn't her fault.

Appreciate life and what you have in life while you have it, because it may all be taken from you in the blink of an eye.

RuUuby, don't take your love to town.

 

[Recidiva]

Ask yourself who she was when she was that woman you remember. Would she want you to be unhappy sexually and socially on top of being miserable for her loss?

I can't imagine loving someone and wanting them to suffer in all ways from being denied their company, or the company of others.

I'm sure she didn't want to be disabled, but it happened. What would she want for you if she could choose?

 

[cleaver]

no...
this one is an adult
with the wisdom and understandings of a pre-teen...
it's perfectly ok for the caller to have sex with this one, recidiva...

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

It's not like she'll know about the cheating. I'm leaning toward cheat.

 

[richard_daily]

I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post this. I'm sure a mod. will let me know.

Last fall, my wife was hit by a drunk driver. She went from being a vivacious lively woman to now having a traumatic brain injury, paralyzed on her right side, wheelchair bound, caught between having logic and understanding of a pre-teen/adult. Most of the time, she cannot tell you the consequences of cause and effect.

Sure I could go out and cheat on her in order to get sex. But than I would feel like shit. It isn't her fault.

Appreciate life and what you have in life while you have it, because it may all be taken from you in the blink of an eye.

Why post this, if you're not looking for support in cheating?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Flag down.

Stop dissing RECIDIVA and move on.

 

[lovetoread]

Eh, he wants the ok to cheat.

Either man up and accept that this is your life now, or divorce her and move on.

 

[unregistered]

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Eh, he wants the ok to cheat.

Either man up and accept that this is your life now, or divorce her and move on.

It's not a this/that decision. He can cheat and care for her.

win/win.

 

[cleaver]

It's not like she'll know about the cheating. I'm leaning toward cheat.

the humane thing would be to incorporate her into the sexy fun...
i'm sure there are fetishes that include
paralyzed body parts, pre-teen banter
and questionable moral judgement

and if not...
this dude's got all the elements to exploring it?

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

the humane thing would be to incorporate her into the sexy fun...
i'm sure there are fetishes that include
paralyzed body parts, pre-teen banter
and questionable moral judgement

and if not...
this dude's got all the elements to exploring it?

Maybe he's religious. Unlikely but possible.

 

[dolf]

Eh, he wants the ok to cheat.

Either man up and accept that this is your life now, or divorce her and move on.

Is it that simple? Even if the sexual relationship is over, would you not still feel a duty of care? Would a slide from spouse to parent be an impossible route? Could you divorce them and leave their care to whoever or the state? Marriage is more than a contract to fuck and not to fuck, it's medical consent and financial securety.

If he is now merely a parent/carer to her then is there a relationship to cheat on?

Are there no exceptions to the "never have intimacy again or ditch the bitch." rule?

 

[lovetoread]

It's not a this/that decision. He can cheat and care for her.

win/win.

Until he falls for the piece on the side and leaves her anyway.

 

[kbate]

Are there no exceptions to the "never have intimacy again or ditch the bitch." rule?

There's always wood chippers. A good wood chipper and an alibi can go a long way in this world.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Until he falls for the piece on the side and leaves her anyway.

Life is messy.

 

[dolf]

Until he falls for the piece on the side and leaves her anyway.

If you were carer to a disabled child/sibling/parent, would you ditch them in that context? If she no longer fills the role of a wife, does she stop being his family?

I do not know what he will/would do.

 

[koalabear]

to be my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

 

[lovetoread]

If you were carer to a disabled child/sibling/parent, would you ditch them in that context? If she no longer fills the role of a wife, does she stop being his family?

I do not know what he will/would do.

Taking care of the person and staying married are two different things.

He could always take care of her, yet move on with his life without the question of being faithful or not.

 

[rosco rathbone]

There's always wood chippers. A good wood chipper and an alibi can go a long way in this world.

i swear your honor, i was only using her head to clear a jam in the feed tray and my knee hit the on switch.

 

[Debbie]

I think your wife would want you to be happy.

If this happened to me I would want bigrednz (my hubby) to be happy.

I would not want him to end up feeling like I was a burden and that he was unable to enjoy having a physical relationship with someone till I died.

Sure, we said our vows to each other. But all bets are off if I'm a vegetable or non compos mentis.

I hope he'll still visit me and hold my hand but I don't want him to be consumed by guilt and feeling obligated to being by my side all the time.





scorpiosting, what happened isn't your fault either.

People can give you their opinions and flak till the cows come home but in the end you are the one who has to deal with a difficult situation.

I am sorry that some asshole got behind the wheel of a car while they were drunk and hit your wife.

 

[kbate]

to be my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

Tell it to a divorce lawyer, a marriage counselor and a wife seeking 8 years of back-child support.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

to be my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

He can love her and cheat on her according to that clause. You'll need to add additional tenets of a Christian marriage.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Until death kinda sets the boundary.

I mean, is murder ok, and thefts ok, and deceit ok when your spouse is sick?