What irks you in a story? - a list for writers on Lit.

[LaRascasse]

Fyi

Surname is just an example. It is an euphemism for the fact that we know nothing about the character in question apart from a bizarrely insatiable lust for cock/pussy/both. It is not the lack of surname per se that pisses me off.

How often have you read about characters that go like this-

That summer my twenty something cousin Nancy came for a visit. She had an exquisite hourglass figure exuding delicate femininity. Her face was beautifully framed with shapely, crystalline blue eyes and deep pink lips. On the whole, she was any red-blooded male's fantasy siren. Then one day, while I was jerking off, she accidentally stepped into my room and.........

(Insert generic sexual situations. Make liberal use of soft breasts, hard 10" shafts and tight pussies)

Is that all that we could know about Nancy? Particularly if this is a longer series where she appears a lot.

 

[sr71plt]

Different levels of story interest, of course. It looks to me, though, that most readers at Lit. don't want to know more about Nancy. She's just an object, and they want to keep it that way. As long as they leave space for those interested in more character-, plot-, and theme-driven stories, though, I won't spend time being irked by them--I'll spend time seeking out the stories in the collection that meet my level of interest.

 

[Feotakahari]

^^, ^: Here we have the reason I prefer Richard Matheson to (my brief, abortive attempt to read) Thomas Disch. Matheson's horror has clear appeal to the horror reader, but there's always something else going on--an adventure, a romance, even the occasional bit of philosophy. Disch's horror is only horror, and is unreadable if you're not currently in the mood for a horror story, but Matheson's good at luring you into the mood if you're not already in it.

(To be fair, the Disch story I read was apparently one of his worst, but the point basically stands.)

 

[roomfor1more]

I have a list of what I feel makes a bad story and most of it comes down to poor editing and construction. The list below, tries to categorize the types of stories I find poorly written and difficult to read.

• Writing in the second person / switching perspectives - I read a lot of these types of stories on Literotica where the author has written a story for their partner about what they would like to see them do or have done to them by their partner. However, they do not edit the story for the wider audience on Literotica by keeping the perspective a consistent 1st person or 3rd person. Instead they rush to have it published and neglect the fact that it may not be well received because of the failure to edit the story.
  
• Hard on / erection stories - These stories baffle me, typically these are stories reads as though the author writes in about 5 minutes and reads as though the story gets them aroused. Unfortunately the author does not take the time to edit the story resulting in the story being difficult to read due to all of the grammatical errors and it is not logically constructed.
  
• Miscategorised - I do not read them that often but I do come across them. The most common are loving wives stories in which the couple is not married. To me, such a story has no place in the category.
  
• Stories that are poorly thought out / poorly edited - Typically these stories fall into on of two categories. First one is the author, based on how the story is written, took a class on creative writing. The story is full of nonsensical descriptions, over-use of adverbs ending in -ly, and parts of the story leaves me wondering how did this happen. Second type of story, the authors forgets there is an audience and tries to write as many sex scenes as possible. While I have no objections to a sex scene, the problems lies in the fact the author forgets that too many sex scenes in a less than 3,000 word story makes it implausible. These stories tend to have potential of being great stories if the author had taken the time to edit the story and think about it from a logical perspective.

 

[Feotakahari]

• Miscategorised - I do not read them that often but I do come across them. The most common are loving wives stories in which the couple is not married. To me, such a story has no place in the category.

Here we go again . . .

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

Inconsistent details - I read a book a while ago where on one page the character's name was Mary, and not a page later, it changed to Mariam - and then back again. Oy... Make sure you keep your details straight - as others have said.

Honestly I'd assume Mary was a nickname for Mariam as that name is usually pronounced Mary-am and the more obvious 'Mari' spelling is already taken as nickname for Marinette which is pronounced entirely differently. I can see why they did it though that doesn’t mean it's not good practice to establish that the name they're going by is not their full name early on.

For example I have a character named Junichi, which being a three syllable name has a commonly accepted nickname that's just "Jun" however everyone in the story that's affectionate towards Junichi calls him "Juni" at least once. This was easy enough to establish by having Jun’s full name said during roll call so it makes it clear that Jun is a shortening of Junichi.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

I don't hate second person viewpoint stories. It is possible to use second person but it takes a good writer, and a good reason, to do it.

Most contributors to Literotica, including me, aren't good enough to write second person and make it work for the reader.

I'm of the same mind. It's not that I don't like them, they just never seem to do an adequate job of telling the story to the readers. The perspective is too selfish and lends itself to shorter, single event type scenarios, which I suppose is fine for some erotica, but weak where character development, emotions, and even sometimes the plot are concerned.

All-in-all, I find 2nd person too limiting, both as a writer and a reader.

 

[alohadave]

I'm of the same mind. It's not that I don't like them, they just never seem to do an adequate job of telling the story to the readers. The perspective is too selfish and lends itself to shorter, single event type scenarios, which I suppose is fine for some erotica, but weak where character development, emotions, and even sometimes the plot are concerned.

All-in-all, I find 2nd person too limiting, both as a writer and a reader.

The only place where I feel that 2nd person worked was the old Choose Your Own Adventure books.

 

[oggbashan]

I tried writing a second person adventure book for Literotica.

I gave up. It was a mess wih too many alternative paths that would difficult to follow on a screen, and too many links to get wrong.

'If you do x go to [Link1]. If y, go to [Link 2]; if z, go to [Link3]

I got to over 100 links before page twenty...

 

[jsmiam]

I’m repeating myself (I’ve said this over the years.). My pet peeve is Anal first then vaginal second with the same dick, finger, or tongue.

Note that I’m not against ass play. I’m all for it. Just check my stories.

I’m just saying help keep the lady healthy and safe. Keep the two body parts separated. Compartmentalized. Switch fingers. Do the ass play last. Find a way.

Facts: Whether it’s a finger, penis, or tongue, causing transfer of invisible things from an ass to a vagina is very risky and very likely going to lead to a massive infection for the lady. Doing it is a sign of (a) not giving a shit (ba-dom-bom,) (b) inexperience, or (c) ignorance.

It’s a back-key for me if I see it in a video or story.

And given that we are Literotica, alegegedly “literate”, we shouldn’t be passing ignorance forward. Throw in a little basic sex education. In my stories, I try to avoid getting on a soapbox (soap is an option,) but any ass play I mention will have at least a fraction of a sentence up to a sentence or two explaining that the person switched hands, did the ass last, or something, to avoid cross contamination.

That’s my pet peeve, and I approve this missive.

Edit: and when i realize I’ve partaken in an ancient thread revival. Sighhh.

 

[Euphony]

My pet peeve is Anal first then vaginal second with the same dick, finger, or tongue.

Can *just* barely handle it depending on the tone of the piece.

If it's a clear idealized/fantasy piece, where pre-showers and post coital UTI stopping pees are a come down from the dramatic heights of the sex.

If it's pitched as some super loving long, hard fought, harder won courtship, the oversight is often too noticeable to hold suspension of disbelief.

I am fascinated by these sorts of things, where one tone is forgiving, another disrupted by the very same occurrence, like relationships (and their negotiations)

Context matters.

 

[Duleigh]

Smiled is not a speech word.

No, but it's not a horrific sin

"I didn't know that." He smiled laughingly.

Actually, that's proper grammar, the period after the word 'that' is the saving grace. The period separates the two sentences and "laughingly" is now an adjective describing his smile. Clunky but proper.

 

[Britva415]

Eleven years, that's quite a necro

 

[Voboy]

Yeah, not one of those early posters is likely to come back and fight for their views...

Me, I'm irked by euphemism in an act that I don't mind being described in quite graphic terms. "Her flower," "her sex," "her center..." all of those are hard passes from me.

Just call it a cunt. That's fine.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Finding text abbreviations like IMHO, LOL, OMG.
Stories that don't even attempt to establish characters and a setting.
18-year-olds that are all Joe Experienced Super Lover with a massive dick. In fact, I dislike the whole overused 18-year-old protagonist idea in its entirety.

 

[Britva415]

Finding text abbreviations like IMHO, LOL, OMG.

Oh, and what about when "LOL" is in quotation marks, like someone fucking said LOL out loud.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Oh, and what about when "LOL" is in quotation marks, like someone fucking said LOL out loud.

Saying LOL out loud is nearly as silly as writing it in a story.

 

[Trionyx]

Facts: Whether it’s a finger, penis, or tongue, causing transfer of invisible things from an ass to a vagina is very risky and very likely going to lead to a massive infection for the lady. Doing it is a sign of (a) not giving a shit (ba-dom-bom,) (b) inexperience, or (c) ignorance.

It has been said God was a poor civil engineer for putting the playground so close to the sewage plant.

 

[SimonDoom]

I'm much less bothered by word choices than many other readers are. For instance, what to call private parts? For me, it depends on the tone and type of story. "Cunt" works in some stories, but "sex" works better in others. Use of measurements, same thing. Use of text acronyms, same thing. If there's a lot of dialogue carried on via text, then the use of acronyms would make sense to me.

There's no particular subject matter that bothers me, either, although I don't like stories that revel in too much cruelty or hostility toward people based on their race, gender, identity, orientation, etc.

The things that most bug me about stories and that are most likely to make me click out are:

1. Really atrocious spelling. I can put up with some misspelling, but only so much.

2. Unconscious and sloppy tense-shifting and POV-shifting. These two bad habits take me right out of the story.

3. Sloppy and non-standard handling of dialogue format. This is very common, and it's very easily avoidable with minimal care.

4. Inadequate development of character traits or motives to establish or explain a character's actions. I don't need that much in an erotic story, but I need something. If one minute mom is baking cookies for her daughter and the next minute she's trying to turn her into a sex-crazed bimbo, I want SOME slightly plausible explanation for the transition.

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

Finding text abbreviations like IMHO, LOL, OMG.
Stories that don't even attempt to establish characters and a setting.
18-year-olds that are all Joe Experienced Super Lover with a massive dick. In fact, I dislike the whole overused 18-year-old protagonist idea in its entirety.

I don't mind the 18 year old protagonist in theory, I just think they need to be more awkward. Like if they're gonna be under 20 they shouldn't know how to suck dick or make things work smoothly unless they're supposed to be the disaster teen that's got a history of seeking out older partners.

The dick size thing confuses me. Like a girl would have to have seen a lot of dick to start having the opinion that any dick is small.

18-19 year olds being more flexible = Makes sense

18-19 knowing what the hell they're doing = I call bullshit! Im almost 20 and I still don't know!

 

[Euphony]

. Like if they're gonna be under 20 they shouldn't know how to suck dick or make things work smoothly

On the whole, a lot of fictitious lovers here could stand to be more imperfect regardless of age.

There's a whole lot of Cinderella, our bodies are meant to be/fit, sex around here which, sure it's fiction, but writing lovers figuring themselves and each other out is scorching when done well.

Wunderkind 18 yo sex pots have gone too cliche to not at least address narratively why they are sex gods and goddesses with complete strangers.

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

On the whole, a lot of fictitious lovers here could stand to be more imperfect regardless of age.

There's a whole lot of Cinderella, our bodies are meant to be/fit, sex around here which, sure it's fiction, but writing lovers figuring themselves and each other out is scorching when done well.

Wunderkind 18 yo sex pots have gone too cliche to not at least address narratively why they are sex gods and goddesses with complete strangers.

Frustratingly I got a complaint for writing an 18 year old like an actual 18 year old. It was his first time and it happened to be with a man and up until very recently he had no idea he was gay so no reason to peek at gay porn. So he was kind of clueless, didn't immediately see the appeal of anal, had a very "Yeah that's a penis alright" reaction to his partners dick. (It's his first time, how is he supposed to know that you're supposed to act a little impressed?)

And I got a complaint saying it was "too awkward" and that he was "unrealistically clueless" and "not hot at all". And like, I dunno how to explain that my first time with a dick was just as awkward and unsexy.

Also it's a slow burn and that's not the only sex scene. Like, there is an example of a more experienced character having sex that isn't awkward earlier in the same story.

Like I'm convinced on some level that Literotica readers maybe don't want realism.

 

[Euphony]

Frustratingly I got a complaint for writing an 18 year old like an actual 18 year old. It was his first time and it happened to be with a man and up until very recently he had no idea he was gay so no reason to peek at gay porn. So he was kind of clueless, didn't immediately see the appeal of anal, had a very "Yeah that's a penis alright" reaction to his partners dick. (It's his first time, how is he supposed to know that you're supposed to act a little impressed?)

And I got a complaint saying it was "too awkward" and that he was "unrealistically clueless" and "not hot at all". And like, I dunno how to explain that my first time with a dick was just as awkward and unsexy.

Also it's a slow burn and that's not the only sex scene. Like, there is an example of a more experienced character having sex that isn't awkward earlier in the same story.

Like I'm convinced on some level that Literotica readers maybe don't want realism.

I will never understand wanting long form written porn when society has weened you on raw, made to order, video.

I do a fair amount of sex/coupling research when writing more challenging reads and what *can* truthfully happen in bedrooms v. what *DOES* happen regularly in bedrooms diverges way more than tastes around here do.

Escapism is fun, no doubt. But why not give your couple a few relationship/reasons for being together wins along the way?

 

[ElectricBlue]

Like I'm convinced on some level that Literotica readers maybe don't want realism.

I laughed inside at that, Daisy. You've figured it out!

Given that you're what, 21, 22? I'd say that your writing is exactly what you'd expect it to be, with awkwardness and innocence, and if your jerk of a reader can't see that, that's their problem, not yours.

Keep writing for sensitive readers, don't worry about the tossers.

 

[Euphony]

I laughed inside at that, Daisy. You've figured it out!

Given that you're what, 21, 22? I'd say that your writing is exactly what you'd expect it to be, with awkwardness and innocence, and if your jerk of a reader can't see that, that's their problem, not yours.

Keep writing for sensitive readers, don't worry about the tossers.

Elizabeth Gilbert (yes, of Eat, Pray, Love fame) stated it more beautifully than I've ever seen before and is why I seek out fresh/youthful writers more than I originally did.

If you are a young person, open your eyes wide and let the world educate you to the fullest extent. (“Ascend no longer from the textbook!” warned Walt Whitman, and I warn it, too; there are many ways to learn that do not necessarily involve schoolrooms.) And feel free to start sharing your perspective through creativity, even if you’re just a kid. If you are young, you see things differently than I do, and I want to know how you see things. We all want to know. When we look at your work (whatever your work may be), we will want to feel your youth—that fresh sense of your recent arrival here. Be generous with us and let us feel it. After all, for many of us it has been so long since we stood where you now stand.