What if....

[Flagg]

Fuckin' salesmen

I don't believe in god.

If it turned up on my doorstep, I still wouldn't believe. Believing isn't just an acknowledgement of something's existence. It is having faith in that something's existence.

So if God were to appear, I still wouldn't believe. I'd most likely say something along the lines of "No thank you, not today" and close the door in its face.

 

[Gaucho]

If God came to my door I'd say, "So sorry, and could you do something about the Mormons, because they're really pissing me off."

[Edited by Dixon Carter Lee on 09-05-2000 at 04:04 PM]

One of the more interesting things - to me, at least - about the Mormon religion is that they believe in converting people after they die. I don't know all the details, but a Mormon leader (priest? rabbi? minister? whatever...) got in trouble awhile back for going into a Jewish cemetary and converting the dearly departed so that they would be "saved". How about that? Even after you die, you're not safe.

Siren - you mean you don't look like Audrey Hepburn? Man!

 

[Deborah]

If Endlessly and I and a few million others just up and vanish one day you'll know that the Lord has come and raptured us away. Flagg and Gaucho and friends will be running to the bookstore to buy a bible to find out what the fuck happens next.

Not to worry, Flagg, we'll give you bible lessons in heaven. Luke 22:3, "Then entered Deborah into Flagg ..."

Gaucho, you're damn right "Even after you die, you're not safe." You never heard of the Millenium? Unfortunately, for you and Flagg it just might be that Johnny Cash tune, "I fell into a lake of burning fire."

 

[Flagg]

If Endlessly and I and a few million others just up and vanish one day you'll know that the Lord has come and raptured us away.

I think you've just defined mine and just about every other atheist's vision of heaven on earth.

 

[Gaucho]

If Endlessly and I and a few million others just up and vanish one day you'll know that the Lord has come and raptured us away. Flagg and Gaucho and friends will be running to the bookstore to buy a bible to find out what the fuck happens next.

Not to worry, Flagg, we'll give you bible lessons in heaven. Luke 22:3, "Then entered Deborah into Flagg ..."

Gaucho, you're damn right "Even after you die, you're not safe." You never heard of the Millenium? Unfortunately, for you and Flagg it just might be that Johnny Cash tune, "I fell into a lake of burning fire."

Well, I can think of less desirable people to be stranded in Hell with...at least there'd be some decent conversation. And I think I can say with some degree of certainty that if the rapture should befall us, the last thing either of us would be doing is running the the bookstore to buy a Bible. The latest issue of Penthouse Letters, maybe.

And just to keep things lively, what about the latest declaration from the Vatican that says only faithful Catholics can attain full salvation from earthly sin and that other beliefs - including Protestant Christian ones - have "defects" that render them inferior. How about them apples?

Okay, Deborah. I'm assuming the position. Enter away, honey.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Re: Fuckin' salesmen

I'd most likely say something along the lines of "No thank you, not today" and close the door in its face.

I had a Jehova's Witness come to my door once and asked me if I'd "read the Bible?" I said, "Yes, the Devil did it" and closed the door in her face.

Was it rude? Oh yeah. Was it ruder than knocking on my door, asking me a personal question, and by her presence implying that if I didn't share her faith my moral character was somehow lacking? Oh no.

I feel the same way about the bicycle Mormons. It's rude, and they deserve a slammed door and a dig or two on a BB. Does the faith? Does belief in God and wanting to live a good life deserve ill treatment? No. But the silly door-to-door pestering and the whole bigamy thing are fair game for ridicule, and one can make a joke without impuning an entire population of Mormons. I think we can all see the difference here between fair target jokes and religious persecution. (I hope so, anyway) No need to resort to cries of bigotry.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

I thought that...

George Burns was God, and old George died. Does that mean that God is dead???


blue

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Say goodnight Gracie.

 

[Siren]

Anything for you DCL

 

[Bobtoad777]

the really funny thing aboutthe mormons, i was one and have several mormon friends, so i feel i can say this fairly.

on the topic of them saving dead people, no wheres in the book of mormon teach that you can save people after they are dead, in fact it teaches that they cannot be saved after they are dead in the book of momon.

so, where do they come up with this, theier leaders claimed this belief and told every body it was so, merely because they wanted to have a backdoor plan in place for family members who wouldnt belive them when they were alive.

Its all recorded in journals and discourses an encyclopedic set of books put out by the mormons, just some words of thought for you.

ps. oh yeah those 2 by 2 biycyling or walking mormons you see they have to do that for two years or risk not getting into thier highest level of heaven.