What if you died and God turned out to be ppman?

[Problem Child]

And you float up to heaven and he's on his big 'ol fuckin' throne, and he starts raggin' on you because you're american, and you start rollin' your eyes and you're thinking "fuck this, I've got to listen to this shit for all eternity?" And on top of that, there's nothing to eat but fish and chips, every fucking ppman-damn day. What a bunch of shit!

But then...behind you... a door cracks open....

"Pssst...hey you. Yeah...you. Wanna party?"

"Yeah, I do. Who are you?" you say.

"I'm the Devil, but you can call me PC." The flames lick up behind me. In the background some stud is doing a hot babe in the butt. Cake is playing on the stereo. There's cold beer, pizza, hot chicks and great looking guys everywhere.

"All we do over here is fuck all day and eat fattening food and drink a lot. We never get fat though, and everybody cums lots of times every time they have sex. Multiple partners and shit. And your favorite sports are on TV and your favorite teams always win. You get to sleep as much as you want. It's never cold. All you have over there is shitty food, guilt, and discussions on politics. You coming?"

"Later ppman/god!" You say, as you run to me. As you cross my threshold your breasts grow two bra sizes and your ass becomes firm and round.

Fuckin' A.

 

[Siren]

if god is ppman then

 

[TN_Vixen]

well hell, PC, you made that too easy

bashing ppman every chance we get, eating fattening foods and listening to Cake.. I love "Cake" on top of everything else the only other thing that would be the "cake-topper" would be if I could witness your apparent facination with piss-queens. Yeah, I'm weak...

 

[p_p_man]

I'd immediately close the place down...

as an unlicensed premises.

After all I'm God not PC...

Then we can have an exciting eternity discussing thought provoking topics, whilst eating fish and chips, pork pies and cheddar cheese. Finishing with Black Forest Cake and washed down with European Beer.

Saturdays we'll go down to earth and watch our favourite sports (PC can choose water if he wants to) and we'll spend Sundays reading interesting newspapers about how to out the world to rights.

Then we'll have a discussion on it...

Ah bliss.

Oh and the ladies go nekkid.

This is ppman's heaven and I am God...

 

[Siren]

gee, how interesting heaven is.............

 

[p_p_man]

Re: gee, how interesting heaven is.............

NOT !!!!

better come up with more than that PPman............

cuz we is all gonna be lil devils..........

PC's minions of hell...

party on Garth !!

OK I'll concede the men go nekkid too.

And everyone can fuck as much as they want and engage in their own fantasies and perversions.

That's my final offer.

PP! But you drive a hard bargain...

 

[Starblayde]

We all know God made man in his own image.

It would be a sad day for christians everywhere if they discovered God looked anything like ppman...

 

[p_p_man]

We all know God made man in his own image.

It would be a sad day for christians everywhere if they discovered God looked anything like ppman...

It's my beard isn't it?

It's not long enough...

Dammit I just knew I shouldn't have bought that beard trimmer.

But the girl behind the counter was soooo persuasive...

 

[TN_Vixen]

We all know God made man in his own image.

It would be a sad day for christians everywhere if they discovered God looked anything like ppman...

LMAO.. I would cry, and it wouldn't be from some sort of divine intervention.

 

[sch00lteacher]

Forget the P_man P_man as god image for a second *shudder*.

Do you think God ragged on the Romans two thousand some odd years ago?

Except for our Gladiators actually killing each other... And calling our service class slaves...
Maybe we need to be ragged on a little bit.

I'd still rather think of him as a God figure than PC as a devil figure.

What is that old song? Don't come a knockin' if Hell is a rockin'.

 

[TN_Vixen]

"Later ppman/god!" You say, as you run to me. As you cross my threshold your breasts grow two bra sizes and your ass becomes firm and round.

Fuckin' A.

PC as the devil makes me want to commit multiple sins.

 

[miles]

Then we can have an exciting eternity discussing thought provoking topics, whilst eating fish and chips, pork pies and cheddar cheese. Finishing with Black Forest Cake and washed down with European Beer

If that's not fucking hell, I don't know what is.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Don't puke on the Yukon ...

And you float up to heaven and he's on his big 'ol fuckin' throne, and he starts raggin' on you because you're american, and you start rollin' your eyes

.... ohhhhh Problem cheri ... i made a big faux pas ...

i see now that this thread is only for Americans ... please excuse the intrusion from this canadienne ... i only dropped in to say hi to you and maybe share a laugh ....

and sorry to you too, Monsieur PP ... you are not the boss of moi ...

soooooooo i guess really then when us Canadians go to heaven, there is the possibility that God will turn out to be Celine Dion ... yes God can be a woman ...

or now that i think about it, Celine in Charge of my soul would really be Canadian hell ... comparable to living in the Yukon ...

 

[Starblayde]

Well I'm english and i dont want God to be PPman....

God is a euro-skeptic

 

[TN_Vixen]

Re: Don't puke on the Yukon ...

there is the possibility that God will turn out to be Celine Dion ... yes God can be a woman ...

I kinda think of God as Whoopie Goldberg. With her big-ass smile and caustic wit. I dunno, works for me.

 

[Calamity Jane]

And all this time people have been tryin to convince me that going to hell would be a bad thing!

 

[Vinny]

And you float up to heaven and he's on his big 'ol fuckin' throne, and he starts raggin' on you because you're american, and you start rollin' your eyes and you're thinking "fuck this, I've got to listen to this shit for all eternity?" And on top of that, there's nothing to eat but fish and chips, every fucking ppman-damn day. What a bunch of shit!

But then...behind you... a door cracks open....

"Pssst...hey you. Yeah...you. Wanna party?"

"Yeah, I do. Who are you?" you say.

"I'm the Devil, but you can call me PC." The flames lick up behind me. In the background some stud is doing a hot babe in the butt. Cake is playing on the stereo. There's cold beer, pizza, hot chicks and great looking guys everywhere.

"All we do over here is fuck all day and eat fattening food and drink a lot. We never get fat though, and everybody cums lots of times every time they have sex. Multiple partners and shit. And your favorite sports are on TV and your favorite teams always win. You get to sleep as much as you want. It's never cold. All you have over there is shitty food, guilt, and discussions on politics. You coming?"

"Later ppman/god!" You say, as you run to me. As you cross my threshold your breasts grow two bra sizes and your ass becomes firm and round.

Fuckin' A.

Well one thing is for sure, Bush would be in hell

 

[KillerMuffin]

If my boobs grow two more sizes I'm taking a skewer and sticking it up the "devil's" ass. Either that or he can carry them around for the rest of eternity. Back pain is not my idea of a party.

Besides, according to God, homosexuality is a sin...

 

[Rubyfruit]

As you cross my threshold your breasts grow two bra sizes and your ass becomes firm and round.

I'd like to have a firm, round ass, but Holy Mother of God, PC, two bra sizes? It's hard enough to find bras as they are now.

 

[MunchinMark]

Look I don't mind the rest but can I bring the fish and chips with me? An eternity without them for me is like an eternity without a burger for you.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I'll run Purgatory. It'll be just like a doctor's office with lots of three year old Newsweek magazines and Oprah playing overhead. Next!

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Don't puke on the Yukon ...

Originally posted by Isabella Thorne or now that i think about it, Celine in Charge of my soul would really be Canadian hell ... comparable to living in the Yukon ...

ha ha ha ... speaking of the Yukon ....
_____________
yea i know - there i go quoting myself again ... lmao ... i just couldn't pass it up though ...

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Dear Izzy

Been listening to the bear since i got on tonight.

Lettermens top 10 included Celining my Dion.

Alanis Ironic right now...