What I learned from publishing a Loving Wives story

I'm getting my turn in the barrel. Posted up a LW story this morning. I'm going to exercise the delete comment option on every anonymous, idiotic comment. There are some criticisms of the story that are good calls on the part of the reader who posted them. And I'm leaving the comments of the readers who did not like the story, but at least are not anonymous.

The vile, anonymous comments, though? Hey, I guess we can hope those guys will turn 21 next year, and with it, will come some wisdom.

And they've had an impact. I had ten stories with the hot tag. Now there are 8. Too bad the little red tag is not what I am writing for. I don't mind having them, but they are not why I write.

But Holy Screaming cats on meth! The number of views is insane. The number of ratings is insane. And 48 comments, but soon to be a few less.
You nailed it. There are far too many Steves in this world
 
I'm getting my turn in the barrel. Posted up a LW story this morning. ...

But Holy Screaming cats on meth! The number of views is insane. The number of ratings is insane. And 48 comments, but soon to be a few less.
The number of views is the main reason for posting in LW. My latest story there is now at over 37K views in just 11 days. But as you've learned, the downside to those views is many will express their opinions of your story, and they'll look at some of your other stories, too. My latest story is rated at 2.97 with over 500 raters!

In LW, the stories which rate highest are those which Burn-The-Bitch/Bastard (BTB), with those enjoying extra-marital sex ending in divorce and burned. I read your story, and you might have thought the bastard was burned. But the wife was the one who cheated on her husband, and she lived happily ever after. You didn't give enough background on the husband and why he suddenly hated her for cheating. It was as if just this one event sent him off the deep end, with no build-up. He went from being a loving husband to hating his wife in minutes. So, it seemed rushed to make the point that he was extremely unforgiving, without giving enough context.

Many of those LW readers are "Monogamy-ONLY" fanatics. They hate stories where a spouse cheats, and they even hate those where the couple are consensual swingers. They HATE extra-marital sex of any kind and feel those who had such sex must be burned, with their marriage ending. In my latest, the wife enjoys sex with her old boyfriend, with the husband approving and joining in, which many of those readers hate! So, regardless of how you portray that husband, she had extra-marital sex, and in many of their minds, SHE was the one they feel deserved to burn.
 
Good points, all. As I envisioned the story, he had never been a "loving" husband. I could have added another 5K words just on the status of their relationship. But a short story is the very poster-child of the word "compromise," what to leave in, what to cut. With no sex and only raw emotion, I figured it was best to keep the story moving, so decisions were made on what to cut and what to leave. But from the comments of yourself and others, a bit more exposition should have been included. Noted, thank you.
He didn't seem very loving, I think you got that across well. I was actually unsure what she was getting from the marriage, why she was so interested in trying to save it. He didn't seem to be worth trying to hold onto, to me. Things worked out for the best, I think!
 
Another thing I've noticed (my story just fell off the "new" list yesterday) is that due to the volume of LW stories submitted, stories fall off the radar pretty quickly. In my first four days or so, I was having views in the thousands to now on day 8, a couple hundred. Still, it's been well received and I'm very happy I did it. It's got a 4.33 rating from 540 votes, which, in this category, I'll take any day.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled cricket and mermaids.
 
To gordo12:

Your lack of quality in relation to this matter is quite striking. I’m well aware of the many stories in Loving Wives which don’t match the category description. That’s my point and my complaint. Thanks for pointing out this obvious fact. I couldn’t care less about Todd172, your stories, or how long you have posted in Loving Wives.

Your argument that cheating stories are perfectly welcome because the category description includes the wording “& more” is weak sauce. Again, the category description is this: ‘Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more.’ Note the use and inclusion of the colon in this category description. The conclusion is obvious: the “& more” are stories which feature married extra-marital fun themes, besides swinging and sharing. How can stories featuring cheating, painful separations and divorce, revenge, BTB, violence, adversity, and survival be characterized as married extra-marital FUN? Clearly, they can’t be. Your “argument” here is weak sauce. It’s fucking ridiculous.

But which way do you want it: on the one hand you state this: ‘I can tell you it's become a catchall for a lot of stories that DON"T fit the description,’ but on the other hand you state this: ‘And the inclusion of the word MORE at the end makes cheating stories perfectly welcome…’ You’re not really making much sense here - if you respect the category description and try to justify the inclusion of stories by reference to the category description then cheating and BTB shouldn’t be included at all. If Loving Wives is a catchall for a lot of stories that don’t fit the category description, then how can they be called Loving Wives stories in the first place?

The problem is twofold in my view: 1. the category has grown beyond its legitimate boundaries and essential meaning and the owners of this website won’t amend the category or break into pieces for whatever reason. 2. An outspoken and active group of people in Loving Wives with an agenda have been pushing the boundaries and trying to undermine the essential meaning of the category to further their agenda.

If you enjoy white knighting for those BTB clowns, then do so. I wouldn’t wish to deny you the opportunity to indulge in that which pleases you, but don’t try and be disingenuous with me because you yourself have an agenda. Your mission: save those whiny little monogamous bitches, gordo. Bring them justice, gordo. You be one of the leaders, one of their healers in that cry baby, men’s support group, which is your Loving Wives.
Tell us you’re a pompous gasbag without telling us you’re a pompous gasbag.
 
So, in essence, it's just like the rest of the world these days, where an aggressive and vociferous small minority dominate the conversation and perceptions.

It's always been that way, but the internet has become an amplifier of that effect, giving the crazies equal standing and exposure to the more informed and reasoned majority.
Sad but oh so true!
 
It does highlight something that has always been known: if you want to accomplish anything in life, there will be no shortage of assholes who aren't going to like it, and they'll shout at you and berate and belittle you and every attempt you make, trying to shame you into stopping and receding back into the facelessness with them. There is only one answer, and it is not an easy one to live with:

You, at some point, must enter a state of mind where you stop listening to them. Their words of derision are their only weapon, and that weapon becomes useless the instant you no longer care what anyone else has to say against you.

This goes for everything in life. From relationships, to pro-level athletes trying to set world records, to what you do for a living, somebody is going to take offense because they are just assholes. They never shut up. They never get tired of running others down.

Ignore them and let them say whatever they are going to say, and you win. Even if you spend your whole life trying to accomplish something, and you never actually manage to accomplish it, you win because you never gave up. Otherwise, they defeat you with nothing but words and hot air.

After 50, you're going to ask yourself, "Why did I ever listen to those fuckheads?" (Yes, 50 is in the rear-view mirror for me, and that's all I'm going to admit to!)
This is why the first thing they tell recovering addicts is to stay the hell away from the old crowd because they don't want you clean and sober, they want to bring you back down to their level.

As far as people belittling you, its base human nature for the average lemming. I remember telling someone I was working on a horror novel, and the response was "Who the hell are you to write a book?"
It comes down to when someone wants to chase a dream, or better themselves in anyway, the average response is for others to discourage you because it makes them feel bad they're not doing anything, so their answer is to keep down where they keep themselves.
 
Most of the assholes that never shut up and never get tired of running others down don't have much else to do. They sit in their room at their parents house while "looking for a job". If they had productive lives they wouldn't have time for all of the other bullshit.

And yes 50 in in the rear-view mirror for me as well, right behind the 60 sign. Honestly though I'd rather be 60 than 30 these days although I'm sure our parents felt the same way!
 
This is why the first thing they tell recovering addicts is to stay the hell away from the old crowd because they don't want you clean and sober, they want to bring you back down to their level.

As far as people belittling you, its base human nature for the average lemming. I remember telling someone I was working on a horror novel, and the response was "Who the hell are you to write a book?"
It comes down to when someone wants to chase a dream, or better themselves in anyway, the average response is for others to discourage you because it makes them feel bad they're not doing anything, so their answer is to keep down where they keep themselves.
Back in my gym rat days, we called this “crabs in a bucket.” If you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, even if most of them can easily escape, they’ll pull each other back into the bucket as they try. You’ll see them stacked almost to the top, and none of them manage to get over the lip.

Humans are so much worse; the crabs do it because they’re trying to escape and fighting each other. It’s instinctual. But humans? They’ll happily drag each other back into the bucket so that they don’t feel threatened by someone else’s happiness or success. Takes a lot less effort to pull someone back into the bucket than try to escape.
 
Back in my gym rat days, we called this “crabs in a bucket.” If you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, even if most of them can easily escape, they’ll pull each other back into the bucket as they try. You’ll see them stacked almost to the top, and none of them manage to get over the lip.

Humans are so much worse; the crabs do it because they’re trying to escape and fighting each other. It’s instinctual. But humans? They’ll happily drag each other back into the bucket so that they don’t feel threatened by someone else’s happiness or success. Takes a lot less effort to pull someone back into the bucket than try to escape.
Good analogy....but now I'm thinking....sex stories, crabs, STD....
 
It does highlight something that has always been known: if you want to accomplish anything in life, there will be no shortage of assholes who aren't going to like it, and they'll shout at you and berate and belittle you and every attempt you make, trying to shame you into stopping and receding back into the facelessness with them. There is only one answer, and it is not an easy one to live with:

You, at some point, must enter a state of mind where you stop listening to them. Their words of derision are their only weapon, and that weapon becomes useless the instant you no longer care what anyone else has to say against you.

This goes for everything in life. From relationships, to pro-level athletes trying to set world records, to what you do for a living, somebody is going to take offense because they are just assholes. They never shut up. They never get tired of running others down.

Ignore them and let them say whatever they are going to say, and you win. Even if you spend your whole life trying to accomplish something, and you never actually manage to accomplish it, you win because you never gave up. Otherwise, they defeat you with nothing but words and hot air.

After 50, you're going to ask yourself, "Why did I ever listen to those fuckheads?" (Yes, 50 is in the rear-view mirror for me, and that's all I'm going to admit to!)
Love you, Amber.
 
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