What happened to me??

[TrailRat]

I've just started to explore my sub side with a guy who is also just exploring his dom side. Had a second session with him on Wednesday and something terrible happened. I couldn't get hard when he asked me to. I have no idea why neither. I started masturbating like he asked and then he ordered me to get hard. I tried every fantasy thought and previous experince in my memory bank. I even delved into my deepest, darkest and most secretive thought bank that has in the past produced results. But despite being ordered three times nothing happened. Even the threat and exucution of a whipping with a wide leather belt didn't produce any results.

Any ideas?

 

[cati]

Under pressure?

I'm guessing you weren't very relaxed or comfortable with your partner (yet). Many men can't perform under pressure...shoot either can some women. Speaking for myself of course.

 

[TrailRat]

Oh yeah, one other thing I should have asked is there anything that be done to combat this. Despite liking the spankings, the whippings hurt damm hard. (But then again I think thats the point)
HEHEHE

 

[Chicklet]

Most men don't perform under pressure...shoot either do most women.
Speaking for myself of course

This sounds right to me... sometimes when I get so antsy about being "wet enough" for my guy, I seem to totally dry up, even though everything he's doing for me is the stuff I think about when I close my eyes. The pressure of wanting it to be "perfect" is just enough to scare me to death half the time

 

[Rrrosyn]

My sub actually stays soft for most play. Especially floggings, etc. Paddlings have the rhythm, so those are okay, but the tails of a flogger will never come down in exactly the same spot, with the same speed, strength, etc. So they distract him, even though he loves them.

Also pressure, really makes it difficult on him sometimes. He has to have been through a few weeks denial before he can stay hard through everything I throw at him. I just don't expect him to be hard to enjoy it. He can be soft and enjoy it too.

Then again, there is nothing like looking at the stop watch, saying, "Two minutes. Go!" and watching him try.

 

[DVS]

I'm guessing you weren't very relaxed or comfortable with your partner (yet). Many men can't perform under pressure...shoot either can some women. Speaking for myself of course.

I agree. If you still enjoyed what was happening, despite your lack of erection, that would tell me you're still into being submissive. Things just don't happen because you are ordered to make it happen.

Sometimes you are so into the scene, the pain of the whippings, etc., you are truly into the part of being submissive. And, the submissive's role is to be used by the Dom. A hard cock is not a usually part of the job. The Dom is the one who gets hard, and the submissive is the one who takes it in any hole the Dom wishes.

Now, it can be part of the scene, if you want. You could work it into your session...if you enjoy being punished and humiliated. You could explain the situation to your Dom and create a situation that gets you punished if you don't get hard. Work with what you have and don't worry about what you can't do in the heat of the moment.

 

[Xelebes]

It's not the erection that counts - it's not the reason why you do it.

 

[cati]

TrailRat: Oh yeah, one other thing I should have asked is there anything that be done to combat this.

Sure viagra... jk