What does your sexuality NEED?

[CurlyKat]

I think there's really two different ways of looking at this topic as a whole. The first is as a human being as a whole, and that human's most basic instincts and drives. Yes, as a part of who I am on a most basic level, very generic sex as a means of procreation would be a need since it is a biological drive. This is an accepted fact for MOST (but definitely not all, due to a myriad of reasons) people.

The second way of viewing the discusion as a whole would be to separate out who I am as a human from my sexuality and sexual side. While my human side may have her basic needs met by the above, my sexuality would not exist, period. Not existing means the needs of this entity are not being met. For my sexuality, apart from me as a human, to exist on the most basic level, I need the things listed in my previous post (love, service, nurturing, pleasing, safety, trust, and the occasional pain). Without those things as a springboard to the higher "wants", my sexuality would not even be around to express the other wants.

 

[intothewoods]

for men, for procreation, yes, orgasm is a need. for a female or for one who does not wish to plant offspring, not necessarily.

your comment was basically that people did not need these "higher functions" being described as needs in order to cum. i just found that a strange statement, as it assumes two things: 1. that to cum is a universal sexual need, and 2. that when people describe their sexual needs they are describing what makes them achieve sexual arousal or orgasm.

neither physical arousal or orgasm make up any part of my sexual "needs."

The need to cum is definitely not a universal need for women. You hear women talk about being non-orgasmic all the time. However, it's more common that non-orgasmic women will profess limited sexual needs or interest in sex.

I would love to know what percentage of women are biologically non-orgasmic. And is it a biological fact, or is it something to do with social factors?

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

There are a few things going on here.

The first is the issue of whether we're talking about the top or the bottom of the pyramid. We say were talking about the bottom, but most of us are replying as thought we're at the top. So there's a little... variation there.
<snip>.
Also (as part of 4) there are two different conversations going on here. There's the casual, informative "this is what I (each of us) need" replies and then there's the secondary conversation of "what is the hierarchy of sexual needs" conversation (with the dilemma of providing needs at the top of the hierarchy or at the bottom of the hierarchy.)


Do you see my dilemma? / Sensitive to my situation?

I think there's really two different ways of looking at this topic as a whole. The first is as a human being as a whole, and that human's most basic instincts and drives. Yes, as a part of who I am on a most basic level, very generic sex as a means of procreation would be a need since it is a biological drive. This is an accepted fact for MOST (but definitely not all, due to a myriad of reasons) people.

The second way of viewing the discusion as a whole would be to separate out who I am as a human from my sexuality and sexual side. While my human side may have her basic needs met by the above, my sexuality would not exist, period. Not existing means the needs of this entity are not being met. For my sexuality, apart from me as a human, to exist on the most basic level, I need the things listed in my previous post (love, service, nurturing, pleasing, safety, trust, and the occasional pain). Without those things as a springboard to the higher "wants", my sexuality would not even be around to express the other wants.

Interesting. There are several ways to look at this.

I picture my Sex "character" not giving a rat's ass about the other human needs. It has its own agenda, and its own pyramid. It cares nothing about food. It's not smart. It cares more about dominance and intimacy than shelter. Which is why none of us adopts Sex's needs as our larger human needs. I'd end up forgoing meals and shelter for sex. Which I only do on occasion.

 

[~Haze~]

Interesting. There are several ways to look at this.

I picture my Sex "character" not giving a rat's ass about the other human needs. It has its own agenda, and its own pyramid. It cares nothing about food. It's not smart. It cares more about dominance and intimacy than shelter. Which is why none of us adopts Sex's needs as our larger human needs. I'd end up forgoing meals and shelter for sex. Which I only do on occasion.

I think procreation... for the most part... is a physiological response and a biological imperative than a conscious thought. That is... there are things you do (mother nature), things you look for that you're entirely unaware of or do without thinking.

We are animals. You can see a lot of things that humans do in other animals that are out in the wild.

Strip down all those higher functions and you're left with a primal need to fuck>to cum>to spread your seed>to reproduce - as a species and to promote your genes.

This isn't a discussion on biology but those biological elements are there... whether you're aware of them or not.

And Curly Cat is right. There are two things going on. The first is natural and biological and the second is individual and conscious. And within those two things there are another two things going on. Proliferation of the species and proliferation of one's self and their own DNA.

 

[ownedsubgal]

without pleasure in reproduction, there would be no human race. Cave men just wouldn't have done it

again this applies only to one gender. the human race would exist without female pleasure in the procreative process.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Strip down all those higher functions and you're left with a primal need to fuck>to cum>to spread your seed>to reproduce - as a species and to promote your genes.

This isn't a discussion on biology but those biological elements are there... whether you're aware of them or not.

I'd like to post about this, Haze, but Sex only wants to fuck.

 

[Firebrain]

x x x x x x

 

[CurlyKat]

Interesting. There are several ways to look at this.

I picture my Sex "character" not giving a rat's ass about the other human needs. It has its own agenda, and its own pyramid. It cares nothing about food. It's not smart. It cares more about dominance and intimacy than shelter. Which is why none of us adopts Sex's needs as our larger human needs. I'd end up forgoing meals and shelter for sex. Which I only do on occasion.

That's why I'm separating it out, like my sexual side is a completely different person. Much more intriguing conversation that way. It's kind of like we're just different people in the same body. When I'm in control, we want normal things, like food and shelter. When she (my evil twin, as I think I'm going to call her) is in control, like you said, who cares about the basic things needed for life?

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

That's why I'm separating it out, like my sexual side is a completely different person. Much more intriguing conversation that way. It's kind of like we're just different people in the same body. When I'm in control, we want normal things, like food and shelter. When she (my evil twin, as I think I'm going to call her) is in control, like you said, who cares about the basic things needed for life?

Is your evil twin behaving? Mine just threatened to kick my poetry-writing, treehugging ass unless I get him an alt with a cock avatar and cut him loose.

--

 

[CurlyKat]

Is your evil twin behaving? Mine just threatened to kick my poetry-writing, treehugging ass unless I get him an alt with a cock avatar and cut him loose.

--

Can my evil twin stalk your alt? Or maybe we should create a safe playpen in which to release the alternate personalities.

And no, she's not. She wants to throw temper tantrums for not getting her way.

 

[literotica4life]

great thread

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Can my evil twin stalk your alt? Or maybe we should create a safe playpen in which to release the alternate personalities.

And no, she's not. She wants to throw temper tantrums for not getting her way.

It's like those little play areas they have for kids at the mall near me. The parents plop their kids down in it and let them burn off some extra energy. Sometimes I do feel that way: Go play, Sex! Go! Get the hell out of this house and come back at dinner time!

And what do you do when she throws temper tantrums? Time out? No playdates?

 

[CurlyKat]

It's like those little play areas they have for kids at the mall near me. The parents plop their kids down in it and let them burn off some extra energy. Sometimes I do feel that way: Go play, Sex! Go! Get the hell out of this house and come back at dinner time!

And what do you do when she throws temper tantrums? Time out? No playdates?

We have a play area like that in one of the malls here, too. I don't think the designers/architects thought it through, though, because it's in the area that gives off the loudest accoustics, meaning you lose an eardrum getting anywhere in the general vicinity.

I have to step back in, send her to the corner, and promise that eventually she will indeed get everything she wants, just not at this exact moment. She has issues with patience in general, which is where my D steps in and takes control of us both and puts things back in place. Time out in that form seems to work best, since spanking isn't so much punishment.

 

[CurlyKat]

Oh, and interpretive dance as punishment. Embarrass her, and she behaves.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I have to step back in, send her to the corner, and promise that eventually she will indeed get everything she wants, just not at this exact moment. She has issues with patience in general, which is where my D steps in and takes control of us both and puts things back in place. Time out in that form seems to work best, since spanking isn't so much punishment.

Yes. This is an issue I'm sure she doesn't want you to dwell on.

 

[CurlyKat]

Yes. This is an issue I'm sure she doesn't want you to dwell on.

Ornery little thing. At least she keeps my creative side in practice!

 

[Maxell46]

I need to have my woman put her arm around me after a hard day and tell me she loves me and tomorrow will be a better day@
I've never had that...
and I crave that.

Sexually I need a woman to put her arm around me and tell me the bed is ready and the restraints are where I want them
Breathes in my ear and tells me :
she is My slut
My whore
My submissive
There to please me and bring me to orgasm ...

 

[minx1]

I think there's really two different ways of looking at this topic as a whole.

*nods* this is what i was referring to a page back...thanks for explaining it much better than i could begin to!

I think procreation... for the most part... is a physiological response and a biological imperative than a conscious thought. That is... there are things you do (mother nature), things you look for that you're entirely unaware of or do without thinking.

Strip down all those higher functions and you're left with a primal need to fuck>to cum>to spread your seed>to reproduce - as a species and to promote your genes.

This isn't a discussion on biology but those biological elements are there... whether you're aware of them or not.

I think you are right, procreation whether sub conscious or not and subsequently the act of sex in its rawist form is fulfilling our survival instinct, and for most, is as necessary and basic as the need for food and water.

I think the discussions about orgasms are really interesting as they exist in both sexes to fulfill a biological function and aid procreation. Perhaps thats why for some people, an orgasm is a basic need.

 

[~Haze~]

I think you are right, procreation whether sub conscious or not and subsequently the act of sex in its rawist form is fulfilling our survival instinct, and for most, is as necessary and basic as the need for food and water.

I think the discussions about orgasms are really interesting as they exist in both sexes to fulfill a biological function and aid procreation. Perhaps thats why for some people, an orgasm is a basic need.

Think of it as a gift from Mother Nature.

It doesn't matter how good or bad it feels. We'd be doing it anyway.

 

[ShyVixen]

My sexuality needs intimacy, affection, love, dominance, playfulness, respect, a willingness to experiment, lack of inhibition, the will to please and cum.

 

[MisterSir]

Wait wait wait, take the phone and hold it.

You guys have EVIL twins?

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

I need to feel valued, need to know that my partner is attracted to me and wants me.
I need for the man to be the man in bed, I am not dominant and need the control to be in his hands, making me Top is a huge turn off.
I need to cum, and I cum alot when fully aroused. The release, the feeling it gives.
I need to please.
Exploration, pushing boundaries finding me!

 

[Feelfreetotouch]

Mine needs that lusty look. One dirty look and I'm hooked.

 

[Homburg]

Friction. Willingness.
No, I am not being flip.
That is what I need.

 

[CurlyKat]

Wait wait wait, take the phone and hold it.

You guys have EVIL twins?

You saying you don't? You're totally missing out!