What does your sexuality NEED?

[Keroin]

Donuts
Chocolate
A good curling match on TV
Lego blocks

 

[the captians wench]

I've come to the point in my life where the only thing my sexuality needs is ME. I can be put in any situation with any person and as long as I can get into the right headspace I will get what I need sexually.

Now wants are a totally different story.

I think this is me too.

This was my first thought as well.

When I replied, I didn't give much thought to the OP.

I'm not entirely sure any of us actually answered the actual question asked. I think that we all listed elements that would be at the top of the pyramid and not those most basic, fundamental needs.

Put us in a situation where we have no sexual release for months. No sex, or masturbation, nothing... and I am sure that most of us would easily be able to cum without having any of these 'higher functions' satisfied.

I think, in this case, "needs" is much simpler... much more primal. The basic need is simply (and crudely put) a cunt (or cock - depending on your perspective).

I think the bottom of the pyramid is exactly that. Procreation.

And this is why. In my situation I can have rather extended periods with out any genital bumping. Add on to that the fact I also willingly submitted to orgasm control and it can be a month or so between orgasms even. It's given me a lot of time to think about what my actual needs are and what are bonuses.

If you don't factor in my specail programing (for those who don't know I have been brainwashed/hypnotized what have you so that I orgasm on command with out any other stimulation), all I really need is some stimulation. But that is cutting it down to the bare bones.

 

[~Haze~]

If you don't factor in my specail programing (for those who don't know I have been brainwashed/hypnotized what have you so that I orgasm on command with out any other stimulation), all I really need is some stimulation. But that is cutting it down to the bare bones.

Really? Oh, do tell.

I have this passing fascination with the human body and brain - in every sense. Specifically, trying to understand how it works as much as possible (as a passing curiosity). Hypnosis interests me quite a bit. I've read a few books about the subject and have taken quite the interest.

Who hypnotized you? When and how has it affected you? What's your trigger? Did it work the way that you thought it would?

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

These responses are fascinating.

When I replied, I didn't give much thought to the OP.

I'm not entirely sure any of us actually answered the actual question asked. I think that we all listed elements that would be at the top of the pyramid and not those most basic, fundamental needs.

Put us in a situation where we have no sexual release for months. No sex, or masturbation, nothing... and I am sure that most of us would easily be able to cum without having any of these 'higher functions' satisfied.

I think, in this case, "needs" is much simpler... much more primal. The basic need is simply (and crudely put) a cunt (or cock - depending on your perspective).

I think the bottom of the pyramid is exactly that. Procreation.

You make a good point: for humans, sex at the bottom of the pyramid is procreation. My thought was, if your sexuality could be interviewed, as a character apart from all your other needs, what would "Sex" say were his or her basic needs?

I've also enjoyed hearing what people list as "Sex's" wants.

 

[chy_girl]

These responses are fascinating.




You make a good point: for humans, sex at the bottom of the pyramid is procreation. My thought was, if your sexuality could be interviewed, as a character apart from all your other needs, what would "Sex" say were his or her basic needs?

I've also enjoyed hearing what people list as "Sex's" wants.

What if it's a matter of semantics, though? Yes, sex as in procreation is at the bottom of the list, but sex as in sexuality and intimacy is not (IMO, anyways).

Maslow's hierarchy of needs came out in 1943, when sex as still shunned in the daylight and above covers. Socially speaking, the shift to acknowledge sexuality between straight, vanilla, married couples was still years in the making. 67 years later, and people are still fighting for acceptance of sexuality beyond straight, vanilla, married couples. Just a thought.

It is an awesome question, though.

 

[celticsunspiral]

I'm not entirely sure any of us actually answered the actual question asked. I think that we all listed elements that would be at the top of the pyramid and not those most basic, fundamental needs.

Put us in a situation where we have no sexual release for months. No sex, or masturbation, nothing... and I am sure that most of us would easily be able to cum without having any of these 'higher functions' satisfied.

Yes, but would the cum be worth it?

Sure, I have gone a long time without much if anything but I do not believe that I could let go enough to truly enjoy the experience unless there was some of those 'higher functions' involved.

So would it be worth my time to go out and just f*** the first cock I find? Probably not because for me the mental aspect is as important as the physical. They are conjoined.

 

[celticsunspiral]

What does my sexuality need?

• 
  to be mentally aroused
  to be physically attracted
  to feel SAFE
  to be WANTED
  to be diverse and adventerous

There are other things I would like to have but do not NEED.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Put us in a situation where we have no sexual release for months. No sex, or masturbation, nothing... and I am sure that most of us would easily be able to cum without having any of these 'higher functions' satisfied.

I think, in this case, "needs" is much simpler... much more primal. The basic need is simply (and crudely put) a cunt (or cock - depending on your perspective).

what does an orgasm have to do with one's sexual needs? sorry, throwing that into the mix just threw me a bit. when i think of what my sexuality needs, "to cum" just would never enter the picture.

my sexuality needs to be craved and lusted after by men. it needs to be found useful and very pleasing to these men. that is all.

 

[Cattypuss]

what does an orgasm have to do with one's sexual needs? sorry, throwing that into the mix just threw me a bit. .

The need to orgasm is fundamental to very many people's sexuality. It has long helped our species to survive.

Certainly I'd consider it a need for me. I don't fret if I don't come every sngle time but I come about 19 times out of 20 - and much less than that would leave me thinking my sex life was SERIOUSLY unsatisfactory.

 

[IrisAlthea]

These responses are fascinating.




You make a good point: for humans, sex at the bottom of the pyramid is procreation. My thought was, if your sexuality could be interviewed, as a character apart from all your other needs, what would "Sex" say were his or her basic needs?

I've also enjoyed hearing what people list as "Sex's" wants.

I think the only thing really needed is a bit of free brain capacity after having made sure that my family and I are safe and reasonably well. "Sex" might need more to be happy but not to be "alive".

 

[Skorpion49]

Sex needs variety, sex needs lust, sex needs kink, sex needs health, sex needs honesty

 

[sunandshadow]

What my sexuality needs is a path to move forward. >.> My subconscious is intensely frustrated that I've been stuck in the same place in my life for about 8 years now, with no path to move toward having someone be in love with me, having that someone be a man I admire enough to want to have his baby, having my body ripen into motherhood instead of just... getting a little more past it's prime each year. If your reading this and thinking it's not my sexuality, I should point out that I can only get to a good orgasm if I get my imagination into a good story involving one or all of these things.

 

[MisterSir]

Hell if I know. I'd like a whole load of things, but the only thing my sexuality needs and cannot operate without really is a cunt or a mouth. Everything else is just a nice addition.

 

[Barrot007]

Mine just needs to be released.

 

[minx1]

I think there are many layers to this...depending on whether its a one off sexual encounter or whether its looking at needs of a longer term sustainable sexual relationship. For me these would be;

affection, domination, humiliation, adventures, lust and passion, kisses, cum, respect, trust, security.

 

[the captians wench]

Really? Oh, do tell.

I have this passing fascination with the human body and brain - in every sense. Specifically, trying to understand how it works as much as possible (as a passing curiosity). Hypnosis interests me quite a bit. I've read a few books about the subject and have taken quite the interest.

Who hypnotized you? When and how has it affected you? What's your trigger? Did it work the way that you thought it would?

It wasn't something I asked for or even agreed to.

My ex husband did it, before we were married. He had read a few books on the subject and decided that he wanted to increase my sex drive and my orgasms. He planted subliminal messages in my sleep, towards the end of the session he started stimulating me as well.

Of course I didn't know any of this until we seperated. I had thought he just got horny in the middle of the night and that's why I found myself being played with and eventually fucked. I also thought that I was just already at the edge when he used my trigger word. I never suspected that he had violated my mind until much later.

In the course of one of my first BDSM incounters I realized that I was responding to the command more than I thought possible. The guys got a kick out of it and started using the trigger almost as a greating.

That's all it takes for me. My trigger word used in a certian pitch and tone.

I had also atributed my increased sex drive to being newly weds, and then just to getting closer to my peak. Ironically one of the reasons he gave for
seperating was that I was too sexually driven.

So I guess it didn't work out quite like he thought it would. He also set up blocks that I've had others try to tear down but so far they are firm. It's like no one can get into those deep recesses of my mind again. Every time they try I come screaming back to reality. I confronted my ex about this and he said he did it because he didn't want to hurt me or damage that part of my mind.

It's not a pleasant memory, or what ever you call it since I don't remember most of what happened that night, for me. It was a violation that I put right up there with many others I have experienced in my life. So the idea of erotic hypno does not apeal to me in the slightest.

I have had partners who got a great kick out of it though. One friend still likes to come behind me and whisper my trigger in my ear in the middle of a crowded market and watch me struggle to keep my resulting orgasm secret.

 

[MisterSir]

I'm rather lost for words, that's just disgusting.

 

[sereneone4u]

Trust, my sexuality needs to be able to trust my partner in order to let go.

 

[neci]

Trust, my sexuality needs to be able to trust my partner in order to let go.

me too. my sexuality needs a safe and secure place to be let go. i need to trust my partner. if i don't have that trust, i can not fully let go. my sexuality needs to breathe. it needs to explore. it needs to learn. it likes to be taught. it enjoys pain mixed with pleasure. it wants to be hurt and it wants to be held. it craves to be understood and nurtured.

 

[redgiantuk]

I need to know the other person really wants me, yearns and needs to devour me. Without this I might as well tug myself stupid. Which is more or less what i do anyway

 

[~Haze~]

Yes, but would the cum be worth it?

Sure, I have gone a long time without much if anything but I do not believe that I could let go enough to truly enjoy the experience unless there was some of those 'higher functions' involved.

So would it be worth my time to go out and just f*** the first cock I find? Probably not because for me the mental aspect is as important as the physical. They are conjoined.

This is an interesting thread and I understand exactly what you're saying, but... you're thinking about it from were you are now: at the top of the pyramid as a self actualizing person.

Of course, as humans, sex has multiple purposes (probably one of the only species), but biologically speaking, its primary concern is procreation. Which fits perfectly at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy (physiological - which includes breeding). Only once this physiological needs are met can you move up to the level.


Compare it to any other aspect or element of MHoN's. Shelter and you have two people side by side. Person one is at the top of the triangle. Person two is still struggling with safety and belonging. They're both going to seek out shelter, but the shelter that person one seeks out is much different than the shelter that the second person seeks out.

I'm just thinking through it here and trying to move one step at a time. I'm not presenting any of this as fact. Just thinking out loud.

 

[~Haze~]

what does an orgasm have to do with one's sexual needs? sorry, throwing that into the mix just threw me a bit. when i think of what my sexuality needs, "to cum" just would never enter the picture.

my sexuality needs to be craved and lusted after by men. it needs to be found useful and very pleasing to these men. that is all.

An orgasm is important for many reasons. At the bottom of the pyramid it's important because - for a man - it IS what's needed to reproduce. With no orgasm, there's no ejaculation.

Also, it's the orgasm that provides the springboard to other steps (for both sexes). Procreation>Sex>Intimacy>Family>Higher Functions of Sex (Self actualization?).

 

[ownedsubgal]

An orgasm is important for many reasons. At the bottom of the pyramid it's important because - for a man - it IS what's needed to reproduce. With no orgasm, there's no ejaculation.

Also, it's the orgasm that provides the springboard to other steps (for both sexes). Procreation>Sex>Intimacy>Family>Higher Functions of Sex (Self actualization?).

for men, for procreation, yes, orgasm is a need. for a female or for one who does not wish to plant offspring, not necessarily.

your comment was basically that people did not need these "higher functions" being described as needs in order to cum. i just found that a strange statement, as it assumes two things: 1. that to cum is a universal sexual need, and 2. that when people describe their sexual needs they are describing what makes them achieve sexual arousal or orgasm.

neither physical arousal or orgasm make up any part of my sexual "needs."

 

[redgiantuk]

without pleasure in reproduction, there would be no human race. Cave men just wouldn't have done it

 

[~Haze~]

for men, for procreation, yes, orgasm is a need. for a female or for one who does not wish to plant offspring, not necessarily.

your comment was basically that people did not need these "higher functions" being described as needs in order to cum. i just found that a strange statement, as it assumes two things: 1. that to cum is a universal sexual need, and 2. that when people describe their sexual needs they are describing what makes them achieve sexual arousal or orgasm.

neither physical arousal or orgasm make up any part of my sexual "needs."

There are a few things going on here.

The first is the issue of whether we're talking about the top or the bottom of the pyramid. We say were talking about the bottom, but most of us are replying as thought we're at the top. So there's a little... variation there.

Second is... men and women are different. Orgasms mean different things for different sexes. I'm referring to orgasm as ejaculation as a 'need' for reproduction. Also, I'm a man and (this leads into my next point)....

Third... just thinking this through and 'talking out loud'. It's an interesting question and trying to think through what steps are on the HoN and where they go.

Fourth... I'm trying to squeeze a lot into a little. If my posts are too long, I am sure no one would read them. Not that it matters. I've taken on this little exercise for myself and just find it to be an interesting subject and curious process.

Also (as part of 4) there are two different conversations going on here. There's the casual, informative "this is what I (each of us) need" replies and then there's the secondary conversation of "what is the hierarchy of sexual needs" conversation (with the dilemma of providing needs at the top of the hierarchy or at the bottom of the hierarchy.)


Do you see my dilemma? / Sensitive to my situation?