"What does God do?"

[Sonny Limatina]

Question tonight from my 5.5 year old. Mom and dad don't believe in God. I was measured and poetic, explaining people's varying concepts of god(s).

"I don't mean who he is. I mean, what does he do."

He's tough. I said, "He helps teams win football games and keeps people from dying when they sneeze. Occasionally he helps with women's orgasms."

Not really. But wouldn't that answer have made for a great post?

Little guy heard about God from a teacher at public school. The science teacher. A kid asked, "Is it true that after people die, they go to God," and she said, "Yes."

She didn't have a lot of good choices, but I'd have preferred at least a, "Many people believe that, yes."

You know?

 

[Peregrinator]

Question tonight from my 5.5 year old. Mom and dad don't believe in God. I was measured and poetic, explaining people's varying concepts of god(s).

"I don't mean who he is. I mean, what does he do."

He's tough. I said, "He helps teams win football games and keeps people from dying when they sneeze. Occasionally he helps with women's orgasms."

Not really. But wouldn't that answer have made for a great post?

Little guy heard about God from a teacher at public school. The science teacher. A kid asked, "Is it true that after people die, they go to God," and she said, "Yes."

She didn't have a lot of good choices, but I'd have preferred at least a, "Many people believe that, yes."

You know?

I like your answer better.

She also could have said, "Well, that's not really a question science can answer."

 

[Ham Murabi]

I remember my 10th-grade biology teacher informing us that she would not instruct us on Darwin.
I also remember she dressed very conservatively, with sensible shoes. I was stunned at the end of the year when she told us she was 24.
Of course, her goal was to make us think she was 44. It worked.
That's why I believe in God.

 

[phrodeau]

God just sits in Heaven and blames us for His mistakes.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

Question tonight from my 5.5 year old. Mom and dad don't believe in God. I was measured and poetic, explaining people's varying concepts of god(s).

"I don't mean who he is. I mean, what does he do."

He's tough. I said, "He helps teams win football games and keeps people from dying when they sneeze. Occasionally he helps with women's orgasms."

Not really. But wouldn't that answer have made for a great post?

Little guy heard about God from a teacher at public school. The science teacher. A kid asked, "Is it true that after people die, they go to God," and she said, "Yes."

She didn't have a lot of good choices, but I'd have preferred at least a, "Many people believe that, yes."

You know?

At least he came to you for confirmation. Your atheism notwithstanding, that might be worth at least a tee-bow to the Big Guy Upstairs. Lil Sonny will probably outgrow that by the time he's 10. Today was a keepsake.

 

[evesdream]

Did your response lead to awkward death questions? Teachers must have a horror of these types of discussions without right answers (politically and otherwise).

God just sits in Heaven and blames us for His mistakes.

I was thinking "Looks busy."

 

[Sonny Limatina]

Did your response lead to awkward death questions? Teachers must have a horror of these types of discussions without right answers (politically and otherwise).



I was thinking "Looks busy."

He has asked about death often, including his own. He's a deep kid, and I was really sad that he was starting his life knowing about the end of it, but a man named Google.com reassured me that it's an extremely common set of questions at his age.

 

[evesdream]

He has asked about death often, including his own. He's a deep kid, and I was really sad that he was starting his life knowing about the end of it, but a man named Google.com reassured me that it's an extremely common set of questions at his age.

And I can't believe there hasn't been a wiki joke yet.

5 and 6 are my favourite ages for little kids. Their curiosity runs so deep, and so frank, and of course they're totally cute.

 

[CandiCame]

I've never had a religious teacher- and I live in the South. I'm suddenly considering myself very lucky. I don't really understand why you would ask your kindergarten science teacher about religion. That seems weird to me- you're in concrete development and all that. But I suppose it comes up.

I would have said something along the lines of "many people believe that" like you're taught to do in your EDF classes. That's kind of the reason you take the classes. But yeah, that's cute.

edit: Has your kid never played the Sims? That's how those questions were answered for me. I, to, learned about god at school, but it was from some stupid bitch who thought that boys were evil because her dad had her brainwashed with religion. I asked a similar question (what's the deal with this 'God' she speaks of?) and my mom sat me down in front of the computer. It answers all god related questions.

What does God do?
Plays Sims.

Why do bad things happen to good people?
Like you've never drowned a Sim in the pool.

What happens after you die?
Your data is deleted and God moves on to a new family. If you're lucky the Grim Reaper will stick around long enough that someone can build up a relationship with him.

What's the meaning of life?
Shift+control+C

 

[cubbies]

he forsakes me. I don't know why.

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

God just sits in Heaven and blames us for His mistakes.

he forsakes me. I don't know why.

http://static.themetapicture.com/media/funny-God-meme-gay-people.jpg

 

[Cratchit]

let me ask this, and i don't ask in a mean way, but i am curious. Do you plan to try to raise him to not believe in God, or let him decide for himself?

 

[Bad_Doggie]

Question tonight from my 5.5 year old. Mom and dad don't believe in God. I was measured and poetic, explaining people's varying concepts of god(s).

"I don't mean who he is. I mean, what does he do."

He's tough. I said, "He helps teams win football games and keeps people from dying when they sneeze. Occasionally he helps with women's orgasms."

Not really. But wouldn't that answer have made for a great post?

Little guy heard about God from a teacher at public school. The science teacher. A kid asked, "Is it true that after people die, they go to God," and she said, "Yes."

She didn't have a lot of good choices, but I'd have preferred at least a, "Many people believe that, yes."

You know?

A five year old has a science teacher??

He watches.

Watches you masturbate, fornicate; and is especially concerned with who and which sex you fornicate with.

Endlessly, tirelessly, so much so that he has to turn a blind eye to children dying for the want of a glass of water and a few grains of rice.

Then at the end of the day he passes moral judgement on YOU. Chuckle.

Woof!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

STFU is what the great chief TEN BEERS suggested.

 

[Sonny Limatina]

let me ask this, and i don't ask in a mean way, but i am curious. Do you plan to try to raise him to not believe in God, or let him decide for himself?

We'll raise our kids in the "some people believe" domain. If they ask about us, we will tell them that we don't, and why. If either wants to believe, good for them.

 

[Sonny Limatina]

A five year old has a science teacher??

Yes, science, music, art. Very lucky to be in a district that makes it so.

 

[chillywilly2]

what does god do...god causes wars

 

[English Lady]

what does god do...god causes wars

God does not cause wars. Stupid people who think they know what God wants cause wars.

I'm all for giving a child the facts. They're pretty good at making their minds up about stuff.

And my answer to 'What does God do?' would be very different to those views already given.

 

[phrodeau]

He told Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain and Rick Perry to run for President.

 

[Sonny Limatina]

He told Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain and Rick Perry to run for President.

If he's that funny, I might have to give him a second chance.

 

[Nerdy_Harold]

what does god do...god causes wars

I think man does that very well all by himself without Gods help.

 

[naughtycakes]

My sister teaches science to fifth-graders, she cracks me up with her stories.

Her answer to many of those type of questions is "C'mon guys, I'm a fifth-grade science teacher, I'm not omniscient."

She's also banned them from asking any questions about the end of the world in 2012.

 

[tactful]

he forsakes me. I don't know why.

How about your Darling ?

 

[UrsulaX]

You could have just said, "Since I don't believe in Him, it's kind of silly to ask me."

 

[KRCummings]

He enjoys making Tim Tebow suffer by making him king of the world for one week and then having him humiliated by a Justin Bieber look-alike the next.