What does dominating somebody feel like?

[timmyid2]

Domination is exciting.

I have one steady sub, but I've met with a few craigslist subs.

When I meet with a sub who is willing to submit, It excites me. I never want to harm them, but the desire to hurt them is sometimes overwhelming. I love th e feeling of control when a sub begs me to hurt them. I also love it it when one begs me to stop. As long as the safeword is not used, we both take it as part of the ambiance of a sub / dom interaction.

I find myself sexually excited, and so does the sub. By the time we are done, one of us is pleasuring the other.

timmy.
(BTW, I'm a switch, and there's a totally different feeling when I submit to a Dom.)

 

[sarobah]

From my point of view, a bdsm relationship requires devotion from both sides. The dom belongs to his sub as much as the sub belongs to her dom... Someone could say that the submissive holds the real power as she has someone who takes care of everything for her and worries 24/7 about her well-being.

This has always intrigued me. In fact, I find the OP question (and the responses) fascinating because, as a person who is very assertive in her public and professional life, I cannot really comprehend the dominant mindset. For me, exercising control and projecting a dominant persona is a strategy, not an end in itself.

The ideal D/s relationship is of course a symbiotic one, but I cannot help but feel that the dominant imposes his/her will. Whereas, for me, it is through surrender, submission and service that I can truly meld with my partner, understanding, anticipating and tending to his needs, desires and wants. But as a result, however much that empowers me, I am the one who is committed to serve and obey and to subordinate my needs to his. In the end, the dominant has the power.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I give it no thought. She sticks around so I assume she likes it.

 

[Netzach]

It's not what it feels like, it's more what it feels like when I don't have an outlet for it.

 

[Blue]

It's not what it feels like, it's more what it feels like when I don't have an outlet for it.

I don't understand.

 

[timmyid2]

I don't understand.

You know how you start to yearn for sex if you abstain for a while? Sort of like that?

 

[Blue]

-----------

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Like my brain hiked into the dewey spring mountains, came upon a bathing, lustful Venus and jizzed hot, creamy dopamine all over her begging, whimpering, angelic face just as a gentle rain of winning lottery tickets rains down upon us.

 

[BiBunny]

My answer is not at all poetic and deep.

It's fun.

And it's nice to have somebody listen when I talk and actually do what I tell them to do.

It's pretty simple for me, TBH.

 

[LusciousLoralie]

Like my brain hiked into the dewey spring mountains, came upon a bathing, lustful Venus and jizzed hot, creamy dopamine all over her begging, whimpering, angelic face just as a gentle rain of winning lottery tickets rains down upon us.

Wow DGE...^^^^^^^^
I can't stop laughing as I picture this image.

*shakes head*

*snort* *chortle* *giggle*

And yet it seems the perfect description.

I can't stop laughing either. Especially at "gentle rain of winning lottery tickets".

 

[Mr2Apprentice]

This is a great question...

For me it feels like a combination of ecstasy and peace. The parts of me that go throughout a day unbalanced and off kilter get to be "righted" and I feel like I can let go and be "me" authentically.

Also makes me rock hard and stuff...

J

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

My answer is not at all poetic and deep.

It's fun.

And it's nice to have somebody listen when I talk and actually do what I tell them to do.

It's pretty simple for me, TBH.

That pretty much gets to the heart of it though, BB.

"Actually do what I tell them to do." Heh. Yes.

Wow DGE...^^^^^^^^
I can't stop laughing as I picture this image.

*shakes head*

*snort* *chortle* *giggle*

And yet it seems the perfect description.

I can't stop laughing either. Especially at "gentle rain of winning lottery tickets".

Thank you muchly for your guffaws.

I realized afterward that it should have read "gentle showers of winning lottery tickets," because rain is repeated twice in the same sentence and that's the sort of writerly stuff that chaps my shorts and sticks in my craw.

Also, it needs a reference in there to salted caramel.

But as to the feeling itself, I stand by that. There really is nothing that I've found that is as deeply pleasurable.

 

[cascadiabound]

That pretty much gets to the heart of it though, BB.

"Actually do what I tell them to do." Heh. Yes.


Thank you muchly for your guffaws.

I realized afterward that it should have read "gentle showers of winning lottery tickets," because rain is repeated twice in the same sentence and that's the sort of writerly stuff that chaps my shorts and sticks in my craw.

Also, it needs a reference in there to salted caramel.

But as to the feeling itself, I stand by that. There really is nothing that I've found that is as deeply pleasurable.

Salted caramel??? *she perks up her ears*

how is dominating like salted caramel?
(which I love... I love making them and eating them.. the delicious combination of salt and sweet, but not too sweet - the way they are chewy and melt in my mouth and leave that aftertaste in my mouth that now is making my mouth water)
do tell... how is it comparable?

because now that I think of it... sub space is a bit like salted caramel.

 

[BiBunny]

That pretty much gets to the heart of it though, BB.

"Actually do what I tell them to do." Heh. Yes.

At this point in my life, I could list my profession as Professional Cat Herder on my next resume, and it'd be 100% accurate. So people who shut up and listen and do what I tell them make for a refreshing change.

 

[gluttonne]

It's not what it feels like, it's more what it feels like when I don't have an outlet for it.

Exactly this.

 

[timmyid2]

My subbie contacted me today. He wants to be abused. He wants me to hurt him, to abuse him. He's secure in the knowledge that I don't want him to come to any harm. He's right. I want to hurt him, and he wants to feel the pain. He contacted me while hoping that I'd hurt him.

There is nothing quite as satisfying as a man who will grovel and whimper as you step on his balls, and yet will still ask for "more please" when you tell him to. A man who will cry out with every stroke, and the say "please, may I have another" because that's what you told him to say.

It's the rush that comes from knowing that he trusts me totally, despite the fact that I'll make him cry before the day is done.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

My subbie contacted me today. He wants to be abused. He wants me to hurt him, to abuse him. He's secure in the knowledge that I don't want him to come to any harm. He's right. I want to hurt him, and he wants to feel the pain. He contacted me while hoping that I'd hurt him.

There is nothing quite as satisfying as a man who will grovel and whimper as you step on his balls, and yet will still ask for "more please" when you tell him to. A man who will cry out with every stroke, and the say "please, may I have another" because that's what you told him to say.

It's the rush that comes from knowing that he trusts me totally, despite the fact that I'll make him cry before the day is done.

Yes, but how does that all make you.. feel

 

[ShyGuy1855]

There are some great stories that seem to do a fairy good job at describing it but (from a sub perspective) I think it comes down to being able to find pleasure in knowing that you are completely in control of another person's physical and more importantly emotional state and that they might be completely comfortable and relaxed knowing they are bound to you. Getting to that mental state by closing the gap between the body and the mind to the point where you can only physically cum when told, performing duties, and obeying a dom out of the sense of obedience and desire to please them.

 

[timmyid2]

Yes, but how does that all make you.. feel

Like a God. A God who has the fate of a mortal in his hands. A God who could destroy a his subject's trust with a single well placed blow, but who treasures the loyalty and devotion so much that breaching that trust is forever tempting, yet unthinkable.

By granting his trust, the sub makes the relationship real. Special. Sacred. My honoring that trust, I earn his devotion, loyalty, adoration.

timmy

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Salted caramel??? *she perks up her ears*

how is dominating like salted caramel?
(which I love... I love making them and eating them.. the delicious combination of salt and sweet, but not too sweet - the way they are chewy and melt in my mouth and leave that aftertaste in my mouth that now is making my mouth water)
do tell... how is it comparable?

because now that I think of it... sub space is a bit like salted caramel.

Your summation is excellent.

I think it's the heavy whipping cream that makes it.

 

[Blue]

@Doms

I get that it's probably not going to be a universal characteristic, but since a few people have mentioned it I'm wondering; do you get a desire to actually inflict pain on your partner?

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

@Doms

I get that it's probably not going to be a universal characteristic, but since a few people have mentioned it I'm wondering; do you get a desire to actually inflict pain on your partner?

I have a kind of strange relationship with pain.

If I am the PYL, I like to dish it out lightly and in short bursts. Smacks, pinches, well timed blows with an instrument of some type, nothing severe or sustained. I do like the resulting grunts and cries, though

As a pyl I can handle the same, but often times I do not feel pain so inflicting it upon me can be dangerous. I don't know when to stop sometimes, and this has led to more bodily damage than I cared to allow.

 

[timmyid2]

@Doms

I get that it's probably not going to be a universal characteristic, but since a few people have mentioned it I'm wondering; do you get a desire to actually inflict pain on your partner?

It's funny, but I don't want to inflict pain on people in general. I do get excited when I have a date coming with my sub. We only play together every 3 to 6 months. I start to think of the ways that I will abuse him, and that leads to memories of the last time. I remember the look on his face when I do my best to torment him. I remember his moans and squeals and whining. That excites me more. By the day that we get together I can think of little else.

I understand that he does the same.

I have no idea of whether this is normal.

timmy

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

@Doms

I get that it's probably not going to be a universal characteristic, but since a few people have mentioned it I'm wondering; do you get a desire to actually inflict pain on your partner?

Not physical pain. Or, if physical, then only as the love child of Control and Sadism.