What does BDSM mean to you?

[disasterrific]

Hey all! I'm new to lit/forums in general. I've been fantasizing about bdsm for a while now though. I'm 23 and I'll admit that I don't know much.

Anyways, onto the title of this forum. I know what the acronym means, but each word holds a different meaning to us all so I was wondering what BDSM means to any of you personally?

If anyone wants to pm me go for it! I'm always up for making new friends. I'm not looking for a relationship of any sort, but since I am new I would like to find friendship and guidance. Thanks all for reading!

 

[KoPilot]

I don't think the question is necessarily what the acronym means to me-- it means bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. In it there's also the acronyms D/s and M/s. And that's pretty much it. But what I believe you're really asking is what BDSM looks like when I do it, right? What I want it to look like when I do it.

There are a number of dynamic labels that can sort of roughly outline what my relationship looks like and what I want it to look more like eventually: Owner/pet, Owner/owned, Big/small, Bully/victim, Sadist/masochist. I made most of those up for me to occasionally use, fyi. They're descriptive enough to get the point across, so they're useful to that end.

Personally, I'm a masochist on pretty much all fronts. Emotional, physical, mental, etc. I like losing. I like knowing my efforts are futile in a given situation. I also like pain, having unpleasant physical sensations being inflicted on me (f'ex sometimes he'll lay or sit on me and I won't be able to move or breathe). We've also got very much an Owner/owned dynamic going on. Not slavery, but not necessarily pet either; it's very much colored by my macrophilia. It's really hard to explain to someone who's not familiar with the fetish, but suffice to say it relies on my conceiving of him as someone who is much "more" than me. We do the kitty-play thing too though a lot. :B

So yeah. That's my BDSM :V

 

[disasterrific]

Thank you! That's exactly what I had meant. What does BDSM look like when you do it. I'm sorry I wasn't more clear. It always sounds right in my head and then it comes out wrong.

Those labels are descriptive and useful. I like them a lot. It helps to put in prospective of what kind of relationship it is. I know it's different for everyone, but it's definitely a help to broaden the horizons.

I think you explained your version perfectly. You definitely painted a picture of what you like. Obviously, since I'm new and haven't participated in a bdsm relationship, I'm not sure what I'd like. It's just nice to hear what other people like and kind of develop a sense of what I'd like to try when I do try to immerse myself into the lifestyle. Thanks so much for the response!

 

[KoPilot]

Thank you! That's exactly what I had meant. What does BDSM look like when you do it. I'm sorry I wasn't more clear. It always sounds right in my head and then it comes out wrong.

Those labels are descriptive and useful. I like them a lot. It helps to put in prospective of what kind of relationship it is. I know it's different for everyone, but it's definitely a help to broaden the horizons.

I think you explained your version perfectly. You definitely painted a picture of what you like. Obviously, since I'm new and haven't participated in a bdsm relationship, I'm not sure what I'd like. It's just nice to hear what other people like and kind of develop a sense of what I'd like to try when I do try to immerse myself into the lifestyle. Thanks so much for the response!

Hopefully some folks who are better with newbies will come along soon, but you know, just pay attention to your reactions to stuff (good and bad) and sont be afraid to make shit up as you go along, whether or not it's all in the popular site and books and stuff. It's submission if it works for you.

Also, there's a member her by the name of Stella Omega who had an essay they've written linked in their sig. You might read it.

 

[GreatGreg]

It means to me the ultimate love and trust in your partner. I am the dominate one in the relationship and my wife is the submissive. She knows I will always look out for her best interests. I am her rock in life. The calm in the storm of her emotions. She is a very emotional person and she knows that when I tell her to do something it is what I think is best for her. Be it telling her what to wear so she feels sexy in everyday life or just the whisper of her Daddy telling her that she is being a good girl.

When we met she was in a bad place and I showed her a path that she did not even know existed. She never dreamed of the life I could provide for her. She is always telling me the day we met was the best in her life as I showed her just what can be accomplished with some hard work. She is my spoiled Princess and she knows it. Now she spoils me with her love and I have not found a limit to her kinkiness as of yet.