What do you

[bronntanas]

I'm begging pardon in advance for my language because I rarely swear in front of Da Ladies.

Um, in general, I'd say huge red flag.

But I've watched (on another site, and some of it spilled over into the PM system here) a D/s couple fall for each other. They're long distance, and I've watched some real bitches (and one asshole) try to split them up. The submissive was viewed as sweet and fluffy and expendable. Everyone knows she has a backbone and a formidable temper besides now! The Master is well, people want him! He's beating them off with a stick, kinked and otherwise. (If he could bottle that....) He broke up with his ex for reasons that had nothing to do with the current sub. There were women who tried to snag him when they broke up, and the bitch of an ex came back. These fucktards enlisted their friends. They were doing subtle little hints that they weren't right for each other, that she was too young for him, that he was seeing other people. Whenever one of them was not on line for a bit, they'd start emailing her to offer condolences for their breakup and emailing him to offer a whole different sort of comfort. One good one was that he only wanted her for her body. It got really bad.

While they're madly in lurve, there are those who want to break them up, who want to hurt her. If they had not gone public with their relationship, then none of this would have happened. It was really really hard for her. She already had self esteem issues, so all these as swipes really did a number on her.

My immediate reaction to your question was the same as Rebecca's, HUGE red flag. Then I was thinking, if these two would have just quietly announced they were taken, and not let on who it was, then they would have been spared a ton of grief. It did bring them closer together (much to the bitch/asshole contingent's dismay) but there are better ways to build a relationship than that.

 

[JMohegan]

But I've watched (on another site, and some of it spilled over into the PM system here) a D/s couple fall for each other. They're long distance, and I've watched some real bitches (and one asshole) try to split them up. The submissive was viewed as sweet and fluffy and expendable. Everyone knows she has a backbone and a formidable temper besides now! The Master is well, people want him! He's beating them off with a stick, kinked and otherwise. (If he could bottle that....) He broke up with his ex for reasons that had nothing to do with the current sub. There were women who tried to snag him when they broke up, and the bitch of an ex came back. These fucktards enlisted their friends. They were doing subtle little hints that they weren't right for each other, that she was too young for him, that he was seeing other people. Whenever one of them was not on line for a bit, they'd start emailing her to offer condolences for their breakup and emailing him to offer a whole different sort of comfort. One good one was that he only wanted her for her body. It got really bad.

I have one buddy who refers to this as the "Harpy Phenomenon". Another just calls it "SBB" (submissives behaving badly).

While they're madly in lurve, there are those who want to break them up, who want to hurt her. If they had not gone public with their relationship, then none of this would have happened.

Perhaps not.

But to me personally, this does not constitute a reason to avoid "going public" with a relationship. Instead, it just means they've been spending time in the wrong social group.

If I don't feel comfortable walking into a room proudly holding the hand of the woman I love, then the problem is with the room, not the openness of the relationship.

And I'm just gonna turn right around and walk out the door. Into the sunshine, full view of the world, still holding her hand.

 

[shy slave]

If I don't feel comfortable walking into a room proudly holding the hand of the woman I love, then the problem is with the room, not the openness of the relationship.

And I'm just gonna turn right around and walk out the door. Into the sunshine, full view of the world, still holding her hand.

Nice words JM

 

[JMohegan]

Nice words JM

Thank you, shy.

 

[jadefirefly]

I have one buddy who refers to this as the "Harpy Phenomenon". Another just calls it "SBB" (submissives behaving badly).

Perhaps not.

But to me personally, this does not constitute a reason to avoid "going public" with a relationship. Instead, it just means they've been spending time in the wrong social group.

If I don't feel comfortable walking into a room proudly holding the hand of the woman I love, then the problem is with the room, not the openness of the relationship.

And I'm just gonna turn right around and walk out the door. Into the sunshine, full view of the world, still holding her hand.

Exactly. While it sucks hardcore that the abovementioned couple had to go through that, it isn't their fault.

It's my opinion that unless your intent is to avoid hurting someone else, it should never be necessary to hide a relationship.

It's also my opinion that there is significantly less caffiene in my system than there needs to be for rational thought, so that's about as far as I can get right now.

 

[FurryFury]

Exactly. While it sucks hardcore that the abovementioned couple had to go through that, it isn't their fault.

It's my opinion that unless your intent is to avoid hurting someone else, it should never be necessary to hide a relationship.

It's also my opinion that there is significantly less caffiene in my system than there needs to be for rational thought, so that's about as far as I can get right now.

Umm . . . coffee!

I personally like to keep my entanglements to myself. I find it is much better for me that way. When my current husband and I got together, we didn't tell anyone for quite a while. It was delicious. I mostly kept it secret because of my litigious, not yet ex, the fucker but still, it was a fun thing for it's own sake. I'm a very private person in some ways. That was MY call though.

Fury

 

[callinectes]

If I don't feel comfortable walking into a room proudly holding the hand of the woman I love, then the problem is with the room, not the openness of the relationship.

And I'm just gonna turn right around and walk out the door. Into the sunshine, full view of the world, still holding her hand.

I am developing quite the crush on you JM.

 

[saw_man1]

My hypothetical thoughts

think of a Dominant who "claims" you and doesn't want you to tell who he is?

What I would think depends entirely on the answer to the question of why the secrecy.

 

[Miss Diva]

that is so funny i am having a conversation with a so called DOM: here is the email. I doubt he will answer back and if he does I will get him to go on lit to learn. or get RJ or EvilGeoff to show him the true way LOL

HIM: I am 35 single and have been a Dom for about 6 years.

ME: My name is Marcella. I assume your name is Gary. Pleased to meet you. Not sure what you are looking for. As for me, I want to explore if my feelings are true and if so how much of a submissive i might be (not sure if that makes sense). Can you tell me a little more about yourself. I am a SWF 43 ( I look younger though), no kids, never married, live with my 81 year old mother. I am healthy, and mentally stable (well most of the time I am 5 feet one inch, brown hair (colour varies from reddish brown to brown), brown eyes. I have curves, not overweight but nice curves. I oil paint, do pilates twice a week, do yoga, and am knee deep in home renovations.

HIM: I understand you might be confused as to if you are submissive or not. it is up to me to show you the joys of admitting you are submissive.. >we will take this in stages, first you need to take the first step and send me a photo of yourself it does not have to be sexual, any photo you feel gets you and who you are across to me will do

ME: Here is my picture, however I would love one of you and I would love for you to tell me about yourself and what you are looking for. It seems fair. I have no problem sending out my picture.

HIM: Mystery and intrigue ar all part of the submissive experience I will send you a photo and tell you more about myself but later.What I would like you to do next is to take a full length photo of yourself in the shortest skirt you have with stockings and high heels and a tight top.

ME: LOL, mystery and intrigue are all very interesting however i will not be sending any more pictures. Sorry. I told you about myself and u are holding back. That does not do much for trust. I have been honest and at this point I feel you are not being honest with me. You may be a Dom however you missed the whole honesty and trust part. I have to be careful and true to myself first. And my safety is first and paramount. I hope u understand. And if you had a daughter i am sure you would want her to be careful also. Please reply to my questions.

 

[FurryFury]

So many posers, so little time to wade through them . . .

and stomp their tiny little brains out.

Fury