What do you say?

[MediocreAuthor]

A few colors short of a rainbow.
A few bricks short of a load.
A few cards short of a full deck.
One fry short of a happy meal.
His dock doesn’t quite reach the water …

Since this is an erotic themed website, how about:

A few strokes short of a climax

 

[onehitwanda]

Wheel's spinning but the hamster's gone.
Lights are on but nobody's home.
His nickname's "Bungalow" because there's nothing upstairs.

 

[Djmac1031]

I hadn’t heard that one before. It would be interesting/funny to discuss the many humorous versions of this.

A few colors short of a rainbow.
A few bricks short of a load.
A few cards short of a full deck.
One fry short of a happy meal.
His dock doesn’t quite reach the water …

Several watts short of a giga.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Several watts short of a giga.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.

 

[onehitwanda]

Several watts short of a giga.

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/746/678/5cd.png

 

[Fatdog25]

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/746/678/5cd.png

And I just woke up the neighborhood. Now I gotta clean my phone.

 

[MajorRewrite]

Nuttier than squirrel poop.

 

[alohadave]

Since this is an erotic themed website, how about:

A few strokes short of a climax

A few spurts short of a cream pie.

 

[Djmac1031]

A few spurts short of a cream pie.

An arms length short of a reach around.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

A sandwich short of a picnic.

And my favorite... Dumber than a bag of rocks.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

My personal favorite has always been:

"She only has two functioning brain cells left, and both of them are desperately fighting for third place."

 

[onehitwanda]

And my favorite... Dumber than a bag of rocks.

One my mum always uses: Thick as two short planks.

 

[Fatdog25]

I've always used "the gates are down, the lights are flashin', but the train ain't comin'."

 

[PrincessArianrhod]

Not playing with a full deck.

As derailed as this thread.

 

[MajorRewrite]

Southerners use “Bless his heart”, which is often a comment about someone who is hopelessly incompetent or as dumb as a box of rocks.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

He's not rowing with both oars in the water.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

It really depends on how many characters are talking, and the emotional context of what they're talking about.

My last story had a lot of dialog. But it was strictly between two characters.

So once I established who was speaking first and who was second, I could easily skip all that "he said / she replied" stuff and just let them talk.

If that goes on TOO long, however you can lose or confuse a reader in the conversation, so it can be helpful to reestablish who's speaking with the occasional "Bob said" or "Mary replied," and you might also wanna clarify where they are emotionally at that point in the conversation: "Bob laughed," or "Mary sighed."

I personally think "he said / she said" over and over again just sounds redundant and boring

“Having read your last story I can concur it worked well. Myself, I like said, whispered, breathed, replied, exhaled, exclaimed, quipped, mocked, stated, spat, trumpeted, agonised, laughed, giggled, murmured, apologised etc etc. The thing is we are writers and “said” maybe what is said, but often thoughts are not the same and it’s our job to put those with the words so we understand the full picture,” Emily explained, knowing that they would soon incur the wrath of their arch-nemesis.

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

Honestly, the easiest way to reduce repitition in the use of tags is to just have it be untagged.

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

Like, it's not hard to figure out that "this" means words are being spoken out loud. At a certain point tagging it as speech is redundant.

 

[Britva415]

Here's an article that says you should only use 'said' for dialogue tags - no murmured, whispered, swore, responded, reflected, assumed, gasped, shouted or exclaimed. (Point #3).

Now, I'd be the first to argue that dialogue tags should be minimal and unobtrusive - no '"Hello," he elucidated inaudibly.' or crap like that - and even better, do without them wherever possible.

But if you are going to use them, I really think that repetitive use of 'said' is a mistake. If you're going to use a tag, why not use one that adds value, thereby reducing the need for other words in the immediate area?

Am I in the minority in this? What say you?

It's Elmore Leonard. He, like every author, is one-of-a-kind, only some people are more one-of-a-kind than others, with apologies to Orwell.

His "rules for writers" are really "rules for this writer."

 

[Britva415]

Untagging is good. Most of the time you can make plain who's doing the speaking without saying "Dick said."

However.

"Putting many lines of dialogue"

"by different people"

"one after the other"

"like this"

"without any tags or sufficient content to make it clear"

"gets very hard to read and keep track of"

"and I hate having to go back and fucking count quoted lines to figure out who's speaking now."

 

[alohadave]

"and I hate having to go back and fucking count quoted lines to figure out who's speaking now."

I like when you have an exchange like this and one character pauses and keeps talking, but the new dialogue is on a new line. So is the other character talking now, or the same one?

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

Untagging is good. Most of the time you can make plain who's doing the speaking without saying "Dick said."

However.

"Putting many lines of dialogue"

"by different people"

"one after the other"

"like this"

"without any tags or sufficient content to make it clear"

"gets very hard to read and keep track of"

"and I hate having to go back and fucking count quoted lines to figure out who's speaking now."

If your characters are well written it should stand out very obviously who would and wouldn't say certain things.

Also untagged can still have a name attached.

For example:

["Don't get too beat up about it. You're definitely not the only student in class who came up with these answers. You are, however, the only student that's been getting points for them." He flips through the papers again as if to double check. "I noticed this when I was finishing up my predecessor's grading, but I thought it was a fluke. Huh..."]

The fact that he's speaking is never directly stated, but it is still very clearly atributed to him.

 

[Bramblethorn]

"He couldn't pour water out of a gumboot with instructions written on the heel."

 

[Britva415]

I like when you have an exchange like this and one character pauses and keeps talking, but the new dialogue is on a new line. So is the other character talking now, or the same one?

That's criminal!