What do you say most often (and like to hear) during sex?

[KimGordon67]

I just made a related comment in the 'Control' thread, and thought this might be a fun wee thread of it's own.

Talking during sex is one of my top ten things. (Please don't ask what the other nine are - that was a totally throwaway line.) But I also I feel I say 'slower' and 'harder' quite a lot ... it doesn't annoy me that I have to remind ... whoever ... of this quite a bit, but I got to wondering what other people say a lot.

The other thing would be 'kiss me'.

As an off-shoot, maybe what you also like hearing the other person/people saying ... I need to think about that a bit.

 

[Knoturnal]

The most often?
Ask for permission before you cum.

 

[Fermina_Daza]

With J we can say some pretty dirty things to each other but it’s not something I would have been down for out of the gate. Prior to him, my partner and I would do a little talking but I liked that we had a laidback vibe - I definitely learned laughing during sex is okay (and not a “I’m laughing at you” way but in a flirty, explorative, casual vibe way). Oddly, they each could say the same word and I would be so turned on by one saying it and completely repulsed by the other. My ex-husband, he was the silent type until right before he was about to orgasm - and then I knew it would be another year.

So for me it’s about the relationship we have. But pulling halr at the nape of the neck is universal for me.

 

[SissySalina]

Asking what they would like to do then asking permission to start doing it.

 

[KimGordon67]

With J we can say some pretty dirty things to each other but it’s not something I would have been down for out of the gate. Prior to him, my partner and I would do a little talking but I liked that we had a laidback vibe - I definitely learned laughing during sex is okay (and not a “I’m laughing at you” way but in a flirty, explorative, casual vibe way). Oddly, they each could say the same word and I would be so turned on by one saying it and completely repulsed by the other. My ex-husband, he was the silent type until right before he was about to orgasm - and then I knew it would be another year.

So for me it’s about the relationship we have. But pulling halr at the nape of the neck is universal for me.

Laughing during sex is the best.

Yes, my ex-husband wasn't a big talker either (although I could always tell when he'd gone through a spate of watching porn, because suddenly he'd start saying a lot of porn-type things ... I did not love that). I think I got used the talking when I started having phone sex - you sort of have to get over a lot of potential embarrassments for that to work well, and from there it just naturally wound its way through 'actual' sex, and now I love it ... although it has pretty much been with the (now ex) BF, so I guess we'll see if that translates to other contexts. Because you're right, each relationship is different.

 

[KimGordon67]

Asking what they would like to do then asking permission to start doing it.

Mmmm ... 'what do you want?' is another thing I say a lot.

 

[KimGordon67]

The most often?
Ask for permission before you cum.

Ah ... yes, one of the things I like to hear is 'not yet' ... and then 'now'.

 

[Dreamliner]

I just made a related comment in the 'Control' thread, and thought this might be a fun wee thread of it's own.

Talking during sex is one of my top ten things. (Please don't ask what the other nine are - that was a totally throwaway line.) But I also I feel I say 'slower' and 'harder' quite a lot ... it doesn't annoy me that I have to remind ... whoever ... of this quite a bit, but I got to wondering what other people say a lot.

The other thing would be 'kiss me'.

As an off-shoot, maybe what you also like hearing the other person/people saying ... I need to think about that a bit.

KG, kiss me is me is a very intimate action, however, I consider it a very important connection for a couple. Talk, verbal connection, is very important for me with a partner.

 

[KimGordon67]

KG, kiss me is me is a very intimate action, however, I consider it a very important connection for a couple. Talk, verbal connection, is very important for me with a partner.

I maybe be wrong here, but it feels like a lot of people struggle to verbalise things during sex. People feel embarrassed to say what they really want, in case the other person thinks that's weird or gross or whatever, or just because it seems 'selfish', or they think their partner should just 'know'.
It's so liberating when you get over that, and realise how utterly sexy talking actually is. I LOVE knowing what my partner wants ... I like to surprise them as well, but knowing that I'm doing something they're really yearning for, or even that just crossed their mind that second, is awesome.

 

[Dreamliner]

I maybe be wrong here, but it feels like a lot of people struggle to verbalise things during sex. People feel embarrassed to say what they really want, in case the other person thinks that's weird or gross or whatever, or just because it seems 'selfish', or they think their partner should just 'know'.
It's so liberating when you get over that, and realise how utterly sexy talking actually is. I LOVE knowing what my partner wants ... I like to surprise them as well, but knowing that I'm doing something they're really yearning for, or even that just crossed their mind that second, is awesome.

Listening, the most important trait for a Dom.

I understand what you are saying KG. Cultural environment is part of it,however, in our BDSM family, it should be a given, it is a shared partnership, a submissive is to be cared for, to be looked after. Partners should be able to express themselves with each other.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

I love hearing laughter.

Anything to do with, let's call it quality: more, harder, slower, tighter (bindings).

The little silence as she cums, usually followed by a whispered obscenity that pushes me over the edge if I haven't cum yet

 

[MrRetro]

I’m very orally focused, so anything she says that involves my lips or mouth really arouses me.. Among the sexiest things I have heard are: ‘Please kiss me’, ‘I want you to taste me’, or ‘Would you like me to come on your tongue?’.. Alas, not many women talk like that..

 

[KimGordon67]

I love hearing laughter.

Anything to do with, let's call it quality: more, harder, slower, tighter (bindings).

The little silence as she cums, usually followed by a whispered obscenity that pushes me over the edge if I haven't cum yet

Now I'm reminded of the pretty much solely phone relationship I had with TG ... he had the most amazing capacity to hear things just in the way I breathed.
Or in the way I stopped breathing.

 

[KimGordon67]

I’m very orally focused, so anything she says that involves my lips or mouth really arouses me.. Among the sexiest things I have heard are: ‘Please kiss me’, ‘I want you to taste me’, or ‘Would you like me to come on your tongue?’.. Alas, not many women talk like that..

Oh ... you might be surprised that it's maybe more women than you think ...

During the above-mentioned phone relationship, sometimes he'd ask me to describe my own taste ... so sexy.

 

[KimGordon67]

I’m a talker. I like it back, too.

What we say is too intimate, sorry.

Now I'm curious! Tease.

 

[Bdm20]

I maybe be wrong here, but it feels like a lot of people struggle to verbalise things during sex. People feel embarrassed to say what they really want, in case the other person thinks that's weird or gross or whatever, or just because it seems 'selfish', or they think their partner should just 'know'.
It's so liberating when you get over that, and realise how utterly sexy talking actually is. I LOVE knowing what my partner wants ... I like to surprise them as well, but knowing that I'm doing something they're really yearning for, or even that just crossed their mind that second, is awesome.

I wish I could get my wife to tell me what she wants, it she doesn’t like to talk during sex, or for me to talk to her during sex. That’s difficult. I can’t help but to ask her how she feels and what she wants me to do. “Shut up and fuck me!” is hot the first time you hear it, but...

 

[Jada59]

I think I say stuff like "fuck", "yes", "need water" and "I'm changing positions"

 

[KimGordon67]

I wish I could get my wife to tell me what she wants, it she doesn’t like to talk during sex, or for me to talk to her during sex. That’s difficult. I can’t help but to ask her how she feels and what she wants me to do. “Shut up and fuck me!” is hot the first time you hear it, but...

Hmmmm ... although I'd never suggest coercing someone into doing something they don't want to do, do you think this because she doesn't *like* it, or because she finds it embarrassing. (I know that embarrassment could be the reason for not liking, but sometimes embarrassment stops us doing things that we actually then discover are freaking cool. I used to be utterly unable to talk in front of large groups, and I had to get over that or lose my job - a quite different motivation, but now I can blather on about anything in front of literally hundreds of people, and I kind of love it.)

The first time I had phone sex I was kind of mortified at the idea of vocalising sex stuff ... beyond a few noises of appreciation, I really wasn't that demonstrative during sex (or at least not that I remember). I was lucky to have a long phone-based relationship with someone who was really patient but also just gently coaxed me out of my shell. Now the neighbours know pretty much detail of most of the sex I have. (That's a slight exaggeration, but you get my point.)

Have you tried just telling her that it would be a huge turn on to hear her talking ... and then maybe facilitating that a bit by asking her questions during sex, just things that require a small response until she gets the idea of talking, and sees how much you enjoy it? Sometimes just whispering in someone's ear is enough ... maybe even try that yourself when you're not in bed together, but in a restaurant or just walking down the street. My ex-BF used to sometimes turn to me while we were in a shop and say 'I've been thinking about [insert explicit act of your choice here] and now I'm hard'. There's nothing quite like that subtle tease through the day ... and it was all vocalised.

I dunno ... I'm just waffling really, but it's nice to think about.

Of course, she might just not like talking or hearing you talk, and it might have nothing to do with embarrassment. And that's OK. I hate being called 'slut' and other people love it. We're all different.

 

[KimGordon67]

I think I say stuff like "fuck", "yes", "need water" and "I'm changing positions"

I say 'fuck' a lot too. And 'don't stop' and 'there there there there there there there'. It's good to provide a bit of positive reinforcement.

 

[CutiePie963]

The most often?
Ask for permission before you cum.

I really liked reading your BDSM test results. I also took mine as a result. It was quite interesting and a little to the point.

Here's my result (if you're interested to know):
https://bdsmtest.org/r/xtp2Pqpm

 

[KimGordon67]

I really liked reading your BDSM test results. I also took mine as a result. It was quite interesting and a little to the point.

Here's my result (if you're interested to know):
https://bdsmtest.org/r/xtp2Pqpm

This is a bit off-piste - maybe better suited to a PM or the Personals?

 

[coati]

I say 'fuck' a lot too. And 'don't stop' and 'there there there there there there there'. It's good to provide a bit of positive reinforcement.

My girlfriend is very good about letting me know when she is getting close. It's nice to get those verbal cues so I know when to really start letting loose. A lot of times, it's not even words, just utterances.

We both had a range of lovers before we got together. That experience pays off.

 

[KimGordon67]

My girlfriend is very good about letting me know when she is getting close. It's nice to get those verbal cues so I know when to really start letting loose. A lot of times, it's not even words, just utterances.

We both had a range of lovers before we got together. That experience pays off.

Oh yes! One of my favourite things is definitely the other person letting me know when they're about to cum.
I can't actually think if I do the same. I mean, I don't think there's much doubt when I AM cumming, but do I let people know when it's about to happen ... I'll have to pay more attention time.

... if there ever is a next time.

 

[MrRetro]

Oh yes! One of my favourite things is definitely the other person letting me know when they're about to cum.
I can't actually think if I do the same. I mean, I don't think there's much doubt when I AM cumming, but do I let people know when it's about to happen ... I'll have to pay more attention time.

... if there ever is a next time.

I totally agree here, this has to be one of the most erotic things a person that say..

I have no doubt there’ll be a next time Kim..!

 

[FranklyFrank]

In the early years, my ex associated sex with romance/love. And, there is nothing wrong with that. That meant sex was mostly face-to-face while exchanging soft whispers and deep long kisses. But nothing verbally that enhanced the sexual level in the room.

Halfway through our marriage, a flip was switched as if she just found her deep sexual needs and finally was able to verbalize them. Sex changed for the better. Of course there was still the gentle loving sex but now, she was eager to expand and explore and, we did in many ways.

One of the benefits of all of this was she learned to understand sex can be many things without taking away or denying the love aspect. She was now alive, energized and seemingly free to explore and enjoy new things.

Sex could now become primal, hard and rough. Along with this came her unexpected draw to dirty talk when things got hot and heavy. The dirtier the better. While she was being taken, she didn't really engage in much of the talk but, she craved to hear it and,the way she responded to it was over the top cock hardening and a huge turn on for me.

She was loud and uninhibited and that in itself drove me wild.

Most of those exchanges are intimate and private but the urgency in her pleas as she was ready to cum and the string of filth that came from her mouth in the process still causes a solid fullness with a twitch or two in recognition of those good days and primal nights with a partner that finally learned to embrace and experience many things.