What do you really think about bisexuals?

[Equinoxe]

I believe the word would be something like singusexual. I'm assuming you're playing off the term 'bisexual'. The Latin distributives were singuli, bini, terni, quaterni...

Having nothing substantial to add to the conversation, I would point out that many sexual terms derive from Greek. Homosexual and heterosexual being derived from Greek for instance. Of course bisexual being derived from Latin, the appropriate would I think be unisexual (English speakers don't use Latin or Greek properly in prefixes), but that has other meanings. But as English speakers are mostly making it up...

 

[Netzach]

I have to also wonder, and perhaps some of the bis here will speak to this; is it more difficult for bis to make their friends and family appreciate the seriousness of their relationships. As a gay man , if I tell my family I love a man, they are not going to wonder if it is just a passing phase, but if I were bi, that possibility might always be in their minds.

Yes, it was very hard when I was seriously dating a woman. To this day my mother is relieved that it was "not serious". It was, it just didn't work.

 

[Asuede]

Bi-Sexual

Although I describe myself as Solo versatile Bi-sexual MWM I truly think I am a male that is married to a female and I ham just sexual. I prefer females most of the time; but I love my wife and friend. I like helping other people orgasm and I like to ejaulate in them as they cum as well. It's a fun thing to do. Like opening xmas presents and finding something you wanted. Like watching someone open a present that they really wanted. Sucking cock is much like sucking clit. One is biggter than the other and one ejaculates and you can like to swallow to please others or you can like the taste slippery texture in your mouth. You can like feeling good with a cock in your ass or mouth or pussy and know it will shoot cum in you. It's a nice feeling to know that people feel erotic and sensuous and feel good with a tongue in theri mouth pussy or asshole. I'm not bisexual per- se I just feel sexual and like to make oothers feel good as I do.

 

[Sallad]

I love men

I'm one of those girls that gets incredibly turned on by both sexes, but would only settle down w/ a member of the opposite. I love my fiance, but women still get me really randy!

 

[Adrenaline]

I did say "most," not all. And from my experiences, I believe this is true. "Bisexual" by most definitions is a physical/sexual attraction. This doesn't necessarily equate to love though. I know bisexuals that are only interested in the sexual aspects of being with the same gender. There is no desire on their part to be in a romantic relationship. I can understand how homosexuals could easily be burned by pursuing a romantic relationship with a bisexual who only has a physical attraction for the same sex. But as I said, not all bisexuals are this way. Some can very easily fall in love with a same-sex partner, and have long-term amorous relationships.


Edited misspellings.

I cannot say how happy I am that Never posed this question and Pookie for this post in particular. For years I've had bisexual (as opposed to bi-amorous I guess) feelings and even experimented in the past but it was all short-lived. I was raised in a conservative Christian family in a conservatively Christian area and believed whole-heartedly that what I had engaged in was wrong. Then MTV began to air all those "Sex in the 90's" documentaries that I saw, read some Nancy Friday and I eventually came to realize that sexual orientation was far more fluid than I had been led to believe. However the growing acceptance of alternative sexual lifestyles produced different results, one of which was the "trendy bisexualism" that many females indulged in. Even though I am now at university and far away from home I was fearful of being lumped into that category and kept my inclinations to myself, even among my gay/lesbian friends. To be fair though, despite my departure from my Christian background, my past experiences are still so heavily associated with guilt that I doubt I would grasp the opportunity to explore exactly what my feelings are (bi-sexual or bi-amorous) were I given the chance.

Anyway I guess I was just trying to say that I was (and still am to a certain extent) too sensitive about the topic to have broached it in this forum and am so pleased to have an aspect of my feelings so neatly clarified. It seems so obvious now.

 

[H piltdown]

Adrenaline has made a very good point about guilt. I wonder what the true range of human sexuality would look like at both the physical and emotion levels if all of the socially constructed walls of guilt and fear were torn down.

 

[merlin63]

i agree about bi ppl.. there are different kinds. as for me i am bi. i am on my second marriage with 4 kids ( all boys..lol ). i am physically attracted to woman and men. after all. if they look good why not look. 2nd of all i am emotionaly attracted to both sexes. i have my wife of almost 14 yrs and i have a few close male friends. in which i just adore and love. we have a close relationship as best friends and lovers. and who knows if i met them 1st maybe i would have been with them instead of being married.

 

[Jander1]

i agree about bi ppl.. there are different kinds. as for me i am bi. i am on my second marriage with 4 kids ( all boys..lol ). i am physically attracted to woman and men. after all. if they look good why not look. 2nd of all i am emotionaly attracted to both sexes. i have my wife of almost 14 yrs and i have a few close male friends. in which i just adore and love. we have a close relationship as best friends and lovers. and who knows if i met them 1st maybe i would have been with them instead of being married.



This is pretty much how I feel about myself. I have been married for 5 years to a wonderful woman. I had previously found myself dating mainly women (Mostly because of the social pressures) though I had become very close to males whom I believe that I could have developed a long term relationship with. I still find myself atracted to a certain type of man as well as women. Sexuality is not easily categorized, and when I realized that it should not be my self confidence soared. The main thing is that one is honest in the relationship that he or she is in.

 

[WyldSpirit]

First of all, hi! I'm new to the forums, but not new to lit. I have spent way too much time reading this thread and I want to say that I appreciate greatly all the thought that most everyone has put into their responses, this is an interesting topic that can and frequently does get people up in arms. So, thank you for bringing starting it going, the discussion has been lively and amusing so far.

Personally, I despise labels, but, I understand their occasional necessity, and when forced to label myself, I consider myself bi. I have known for as long as I can remember that I was bi-sexual. As soon as I was noticing boys, I was also noticing girls, however, I was also brought up in a very religious (Mormon) household, so, the idea of telling my family is completely out of the question, even today (I'm now 27). I am pretty much out to everyone else though, and the first time that I came out to someone I was 13. Enough about my background though, and on to the topic at hand.

I do think that for a lot of women especially bi-sexuality has become trendy. I have learned that as a bi-sexual woman, especially when looking for encounters, to be extremely wary of those who identify as "bi-curious". Usually when a woman ID's as bi-curious, if you talk to her more, what she's really saying is, "my boyfriend really wants to have a threesome and I'm not totally closed to the idea". So, personally I try to avoid the bi-curious all together, ofcourse, it can also mean that they're confused, but that's the last thing that I need in my life, some chick that has no idea what she wants! Personally I think that you need to figure out what you want and who you are before you go dragging other people into it! Ok, enough on that.

Bi-sexuality in general. There is no tidy little box to put us all in to. God, wouldn't it be nice if there was. All the homosexuals go in this box, the straights in this one and the bi's in this one. What a tidy little world that would be. When I was younger I never thought that I'd have anything more than passing flings with women. I fantasized about them all the time, when I masturbated, it was always with the thought of women, hell, half the time when I was having sex with men, I was wishing it was with a woman, but I never thought I'd have a girlfriend, women are bitches, right? Hell, I know I sure am, lol. Then I met my first girlfriend. It didn't work out, but it sure proved me wrong. I won't say I'll end up with a woman forever, but, I'm not going to say never again either. I've definately been with more men, but I think there's two reasons for that. First of all, it's a little harder to find women, and second, I'm more picky about women than I am about men.

I guess I'm the type of bi-sexual that makes everyone nervous. I would have a hard time giving either up permanently. So, I guess I need to find very understanding partners (not so hard with men just tell them you'll let them watch, a little more difficult with women) Either way, I'm going to miss the other. I'm so strongly bi it's scary.

I will say one thing though. I know that it isn't just about sex for me. I knew who/what I was before I knew what sex was. Sorry if I rambled.

 

[Soulfiregirl]

I can't speak for anyone else because everyone is different. I can only speak for me. I consider myself bi. My brain is bi. In other words, I'm attracted to both men and women. That's what bisexual means to me.

I went to a GLBT support group in my area a few years back and I found that there was actually more closed mindedness in the gay/lesbian community about bi's then what I'd experienced with "straight" people I had told about myself. I had lesbian women tell me right to my face that I didn't know what I wanted and I was just confused. I was either a lesbian in denial or a straight girl who wanted to experiment. They told me there's no such thing as "bi".

Needless to say, I stopped going to those meetings. I've only had relationships with boys because my attraction to women is something I've always suppressed. I have "messed around" with girls in the past but nothing more than that. But I would like to have an actual relationship with a woman one day. But whether I do or not, still does not change my mind on what bi means to me. My brain is still bi no matter who I'm dating. For some bisexuals maybe it is just sex for them, but for me it's more than that.

I've had people ask me, well how do you know if you're really attracted to women if you've only experimented so far? I ask them, well how do you know your straight? You just know. Just like you know your gay. But in the gay and straight world, you at least belong. But being bisexual can also be isolating because you don't really belong to any group. People want you to "choose" who to be with when it's not that simple. If I fall for a woman next, I'd likd to think I'm falling for her not just because she's female but because I'm falling for her as person, no matter what her sex is.

Anyway, my brain is bi and that's what bisexual means to me. I don't have to be actively having sex with a woman on a regular basis to know that about myself. I just am.

 

[SweetErika]

Wonderful thoughts, Soulfiregirl and WyldSpirit. A warm welcome to both of you!

 

[Soulfiregirl]

Well, you know as a newbie, I'm trying very hard to impress the girls here....LOL. (I'm just teasing)

 

[kbate]

bi loving family

Originally posted by Queersetti
I have to also wonder, and perhaps some of the bis here will speak to this; is it more difficult for bis to make their friends and family appreciate the seriousness of their relationships. As a gay man , if I tell my family I love a man, they are not going to wonder if it is just a passing phase, but if I were bi, that possibility might always be in their minds.

Queersetti,

Simply wishing to speak to your comment.

My partner and I have both dated men in the past, and we have both had LTRs with men. Our families know this and as you stated, they hope our relationship is just a "fling." If we called ourselves lesbians, I am sure they would have an easier time accepting our partnership.

She has a family that completely understands that we are together as a couple. Their problem is, they pretend to accept it, while it is clear they want her to get a boyfriend and want me to wither and die.

My family accepts us by living in denial, pretending that we are just having a long term pajama party that will end when one or both of us finds and weds a nice boy. After all, I dated Scott and Roger in High School and College, didn't I.

As for myself, I have loved both men and women, but I believe that my partner is the "one" put on this planet for me. I pray every day that she feels the same about me.

** note that I do not actually pray, as that would offend many other readers here. It is just a term used to present an idea.

Thank you for this wonderful topic.

K_ate.

 

[Little Bird]

From my parents I learned to view all people as equals and it never occured to me that homosexuals should be treated in a different way as heterosexuals or that thay could be "strange" or even "pervert"or things like that. But this world is a heterosexual one and so it seemd ever to be clear to me that I'm a man and would like women. I got some friends of whom I later learned that sey are homosexual an bisexual and so started to think a bit about that matter.
If it is for the fun of sex, then gender doesn't matter, it's just for fun.
An if it is a thing of real love...
...hm, then it is even less important it seems...

When I some month later realised that I was atracted to a male friend of mine it was really no thing of matter. It was totaly natural for me and so is still.

I think that everyone is in any way bisexuall. If one loves a person depends on that persons character and not on his or her gender. Most people are raised in beliving that men have to like women and women have to like man and stick to that.
I still don't know what to think of homosexuals but as long as they are happy with their partners, there's no need to worry about it.

 

[Never]

Little Bird:
"I think that everyone is in any way bisexuall."

No... but it's a lovely thought.

 

[Netzach]

I also disagree. And if you are a Kinsey 1.5 or 5.5 what's the point of screwing counter to so much of your desire?

 

[kalalau]

Sometime around my fifteenth year of life I stumbled upon a poem by Sappho:

Some say that the most beautiful thing
upon the black earth is a company of horsemen;
others say a host of foot-soldiers, others, a fleet of ships;
but I loveth everyone.

In Never's perfect world, everyone would be bisexual. I find my inability to be attracted to men irritating. I also find it charming when someone honestly says they love "the person, not what's in their pants." It's almost virtuous.

 

[kalalau]

Re: Re: What do you really think about bisexuals?

Screwed that reply up!! Anyway, see the above post that I quoted from Never's first post on this thread.

Just stumbled on to this here and haven't had time to read much yet, but it looks very good!

I would like to comment that I find Never's last paragraph particularly touching. I think a world where everyone could love everyone sexually and otherwise, without shame, would indeed be wonderful. Thanks, Never.

 

[Pookie]

I have to also wonder, and perhaps some of the bis here will speak to this; is it more difficult for bis to make their friends and family appreciate the seriousness of their relationships. As a gay man , if I tell my family I love a man, they are not going to wonder if it is just a passing phase, but if I were bi, that possibility might always be in their minds.

My parents never assumed I was serious about any kind of relationship until I was well into college. I think they saw everything as a passing phase with me ... well, at least the people I dated. But I don't think they viewed me that way because of my being bi. I could be wrong.

 

[ExistentialLuv]

I have to also wonder, and perhaps some of the bis here will speak to this; is it more difficult for bis to make their friends and family appreciate the seriousness of their relationships. As a gay man , if I tell my family I love a man, they are not going to wonder if it is just a passing phase, but if I were bi, that possibility might always be in their minds.

PJ and I are both Bi

As for me no. When I came out about liking women to my family and friends they told me it was about time I figured it out and totally accepted me.

As for PJ the tragedy still goes on of her family not accepting us and the friends she had no longer does.

PJ and I are very comfortable in our relationship and know that we will not leave one another for the oppisite sex or even the same. Yes we still find men attractive (not as attractive as women though) but like you said "Never" it is not what is in the pants but the heart.

 

[Never]

ExistentialLuv:
"...like you said "Never" it is...."

Is my Neverhood in doubt?

 

[ExistentialLuv]

Is my Neverhood in doubt?

I can not tell you that unless you give me a peek at your NeverHood.

 

[Never]

You don't believe I'm me unless I show myself to you?

 

[Equinoxe]

You don't believe I'm me unless I show myself to you?

I was under the impression that's how the board works. Maybe just the general board though, I'm not sure.

 

[ExistentialLuv]

You don't believe I'm me unless I show myself to you?

I do not care about seeing the rest of you just your Hood