What do you have to hide when your parents or inlaws come over?

[Rubyfruit]

My office is also the guest room, so everytime we have a guest I have to go through this elabrate clean up regime before they arrive.

Here's a list of what I need to put away:

The Sybian
A bottle of lube
At lease two dildos
Pot and pipe
Ashtray


Now, some of these items I'm so used to seeing, that I don't take notice of them anymore. More than once, I've thought I had cleaned the room and turn around and see a dildo on top of the monitor, or the pipe laying out.

What do you have to put away?

 

[mritsme]

hmm all that stuff is already hidden pretty well would just have to keep clothes on more

 

[mig]

No in laws.

They fell in the bear-pit on their first visit.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Hmmm... it's generally when ANYONE comes over except my bf that I have to hide stuff... so here goes:

lube
my toys (usually there are two hanging around, and the other few are in a box under my bed)...
dirty novels
underwear... I love my thongs, and I leave them everywhere in my room... oh, and my family doesn't approve of such "explicit" underwear.
condoms.

And sometimes (VERY rarely), when I'm stressed I smoke, so I have to hide those.

 

[Guest]

i dont put up a thing its my house and if they are offened by what they see its time for them to go home!! my mother -in -law doesn't like beer so usually when she comes over i just have to get one out just to piss her off!!

 

[Linedrive]

The bong...that's about it

 

[pipercatt]

I usually keep that stuff in a drawer in my room when it's not in use, so I don't have to rush to put it all away.

However, last week, my mom spent the night so that I could take her to the airport early the next morning. She was going off for a trip to visit one of her online boyfriends.

So, she was sitting on my bed, watching the news, when I remembered that I wanted to give her my stash of condoms, because I've recently developed an allergy to them. I went to the drawer to get them out, paused, and said, "Hey Mom, close your eyes for a second, ok?" I didn't particularly care if she saw my collection of vibes and lubes and stuff, I was just making a joke.

I quickly got the rubbers out of my drawer and closed it, and handed her the box of them. I wasn't paying attention, till I had the drawer shut, and I wondered why she hadn't taken them out of my hands yet, so I looked at her. Her eyes were screwed shut, and she wasn't even peeking. I just busted out laughing, it was one of those moments, I guess.

 

[Rubyfruit]

ljmo (how do I pronouse that anyway?), I like your style.

There is no way I'd want my inlaws to see my stuff.

 

[Guest]

I don't have to worry about this any more. I made a faux curtain that covers to dungeon door.

 

[sunstruck]

My in-laws? EVERYTHING.

Every book I have on Wicca and Eastern religions, any statuettes that are even slightly erotic, the charcole sketckes of me inflagrante go in the attic, the sex toy box is removed from the pantry behind the canned veggies we dont' ever eat (this is the best hiding place from my nephews), the bible with my notes in the margine comes off the shelf, all of the voodoo artifacts go, let's see, what else...

Edited to add, all marajuana parifinalia, which is only the weed itslef, some papers and two pipes. I gave the bong to my 20 year old cousin a couple of years ago.

 

[marksgirl]

I keep all my hideables hidden all the time.

 

[Saytur]

I usually keep that stuff in a drawer in my room when it's not in use, so I don't have to rush to put it all away.

However, last week, my mom spent the night so that I could take her to the airport early the next morning. She was going off for a trip to visit one of her online boyfriends.

So, she was sitting on my bed, watching the news, when I remembered that I wanted to give her my stash of condoms, because I've recently developed an allergy to them. I went to the drawer to get them out, paused, and said, "Hey Mom, close your eyes for a second, ok?" I didn't particularly care if she saw my collection of vibes and lubes and stuff, I was just making a joke.

I quickly got the rubbers out of my drawer and closed it, and handed her the box of them. I wasn't paying attention, till I had the drawer shut, and I wondered why she hadn't taken them out of my hands yet, so I looked at her. Her eyes were screwed shut, and she wasn't even peeking. I just busted out laughing, it was one of those moments, I guess.

Your mom rocks!

 

[JerseyBoy]

credit card bills...he still cant understand why someone wouldn't pay their bill in full each month

 

[sunstruck]

MY parents? I don't hide anything from them. I mean we don't leave sex toys lying around the house anyway, too many kids.

 

[Sandia]

Is that your eye, Sunstruck? It looks really cool.

 

[Secret Kate]

 

[Guest]

rubyfruit

i cant help it i cant spell but it was supposed to read ( dont like what they see go home)!!!

 

[Liontamr]

The bills are the only thing I hide. The last thing my parents need to see is what I owe and when I owe it..

Other than that.. I have nothing to hide. Why try? My parents know I cruise adults sites enjoy online "fun" and have books.. They could really care less.

I think that's why I love them so much. We're not a parent / son relationship as much as we are just really close friends / family.

 

[Siren]

 

[Rubyfruit]

It's really interesting to see the different relationship people have with their parents on this thread.

Lest anybody think I leave the things on my list laying around the house for the kids to find, I don't. It's all in the office, which they aren't allowed to go in.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Unforchanatly I live with my mom and sister.
so I have to 'hide' my stuff everyday.
I keep my ermmm.... toys... In my drawr and hope noone will ever go in there (but in my house you never know)

 

[Calamity Jane]

Hmmm... when my mom comes over, the only thing I hide is how much time I spend online. She thinks the internet is the root of all evil.

When my inlaws are coming over...

All books related to, hinting at, or sporting covers that might imply they have anything at all to do with the occult, or any other non Lutheran type religion.

All but two candles.

My goddess statues.

My incense burners.

My chalice.

My tarot cards.

Erotic books.

Bills, my FIL will not only go through them, he'll offer to pay them, or worse, pay them without saying anything and then demand repayment at a later date.

I also have the mail kept at the post office, because the FIL will check it, open everything, and make notations in the margin of the credit card bills wondering what the hell we paid x number of dollars for at WalMart. (My husband does this too, it's the reason I may shoot him one day)

My cigarettes, and any traces of them. I do this when my dad is coming over too. I know it's infantile, but I do it anyway.

Once, we hid a new truck in the parking lot at my work because my husband was afraid to tell his father we'd bought it.

I lied to the inlaws for a year about my husband's employment status because he was afraid to tell them he'd quit and started his own business.

God, that makes them sound pathological, doesn't it?

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Last year I threw out my vibrator. I was on a ski trip and my parents were staying at my house. I was terrified my pops would find it.

 

[kotori]

Re: Re: What do you have to hide when your parents or inlaws come over?

ME.

That's what I was thinking. I'm sure the dog loves seeing my mother-in-law, because he always gets to go for a nice long walk.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

God...I had people over last weekend and was giving them the "tour" when I realized that I had my vibe, condoms and erotic books laying next to the bed. I stood at the entrance to my room and said "this is my room...it's a huge mess" and shuttled them onto the living room. Later I threw a towel over the stuff. That worked.