What do you do when your S/O (imaginary if you don't have one) stops putting out?

[KillerMuffin]

Sex? Isn't that what comes after five and before seven?

Other than scream in frustration?

Eleven years so far, pure hell for some of it, pure heaven for other parts and everything in between. Though if one more person asks me why I stayed with him, I'm gonna break something. He's had his PTSD thing for 10 of those years now. Anyway, he's taking more pills than a hypochondriac and one of them has delete, removed, wiped, crashed, toasted his sex drive. 404 File not Found.

Not even a free fashion show at Frederick's of Hollywood does it for him and I have a pair of boobs that do it for just about anything in testosterone. Particularly him. He's going to talk to his doc and will probably come home with another little vial of horny pills.

It's been months now, the longest dry spell since the Gulf War. Another month and it'll be the longest dry spell in my entire life. Dildos and vibrators hurt, heavy petting is a dud after all, it's instant sex death when he's disinterested entirely, and another guy isn't an option.

So I'm going to buy a wimple. *sigh*

Make me feel better guys, what would you do if you were faced with this situation? Your baby not only can't get it up/get it wet, but has no interest in sex at all. Would rather darn socks or clean the oven? The question is not what should I do, but what would you do. The shrink visit is tomorrow, I know what I'm going to do, suffer.

 

[Juliangel]

Well I can honestly say that I prove that my 51% bitchy score was way on the low side. He has a high stress job and we average having sex once or twice a month.

I always hit a horny peak right before my cycle and if I do not get it then no one in the house is happy because I am PISSED things get slammed and even broken, talk about PMS.

There are great times when we avarage 3 times a week but not often. I took a trip to Cape Cod with some girl friends and when I got back the sex was great for hte next month. The first week I was back we had it 9 times in 6 days. They included the front porch, back deck and front and back yards.

I am going to Las Vegas at the end of the month with the same friends and I cannot wait to get home!

 

[Never]

I'm not the person to ask about this question so I shouldn't be answering it but since I've never had sex whenever I feel 'the urge' I..
come here.

You could try cybersex, I guess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway, I was deeply offended when Lasher used the word 'I'..

 

[CreamyLady]

My longest dry spell was 11 years -- from the time my daughter was conceived until we took a trip to Ireland and I walked into a grove of trees with a man and we fucked like bunnies for hours. Clearly I was long past due; how many sane women would walk into a dark grove of trees in a strange city with a stranger?

I've had dry spells since, but nothing like that. I honestly don't know what to tell you, because I wasn't committed to anyone at any time during that period.

You can hope that the horny pills work, and that therapy can help him with the underlying problems so he can take some joy in life again. Otherwise, I'm flummoxed. I just went out and found someone who could scratch the itch; that doesn't appear to be one of your options.

 

[Todd]

3/4 into my 25th year of a dry spell

 

[Countess DeWinter]

how many sane women would walk into a dark grove of trees in a strange city with a stranger?

If I was in a dry spell like that...the mailman wouldn't be safe!

 

[fgarvb1]

damn km you make me want to cry. i know some of what you are going through. when i met my wife it did not take long
to find out my sex drive was four timies what hers was.
i do mean was. had i known the flame was flickering and
was going out i don't think i could have married her.

well it's not out yet. we have sex maybe ten timies a year..in a good year. sometimies i feel like i am going to
go insane. i wish sometimies i was like a lot of guy's i know; just fuck anything female that will let them. that's
not me. divorce has crossed my mind; however i love her and
the overall marriage is just not that bad.

in the meantime i just listen to her fill in the blank as to why i not getting any tonight,or whenever.

sex just does not interest this woman. if she getting it somewhere else she is damn good at it. when it comes to that kind of bullshit i have a masters degree.

about your hubby try the body first then the head. from what you have posted you two sound like you have a loving relationship. hang in there.! i believe you said he was in some heavy shit in the middle east during the war. that sounds like a good place to start to me..but what do i know.?......good luck and may god bless and keep you.

 

[ravenna]

*sigh* Here's a view from the other side, KM...

My husband has always had a sex drive /several/ times mine. Sometime in the last few years, mine dropped off - we were pretty close to restarting it, and the first time we tried, something went badly wrong. It's taken a couple of years for me to be able to *think* about having sex RL without freaking. Now, after our recent move and my getting a job, my sex drive has kicked back in...

...so there's no bloody TIME for it.

What my husband and I did - and I don't necessarily recommend this for your relationship; it /doesn't work/ in most cases - was essentially say 'free rein for affairs, under the rules of all parties concerned are aware of the full situation, no risks are taken with regard to disease or pregnancy, and all persons involved including all spouses give consent.' It's worked remarkably well for us, but my husband and I are /not/ the normal couple.