What did you learn about yourself writing erotic lit?

[wanderingwizard]

I'm sure some of you learned something while writing this kind of literature. If you were in a relationship or not, how did writing affect your love life? Did you become more aware of your "surroundings". What about the act of, how did that change?

 

[Hypoxia]

Reading LIT sensitized me to personal issues. Writing for LIT (secretly) only made me sneakier.

I never saw myself as a fiction writer before I was inspired to pump out strokers etc here. I was a songwriter, a tech writer/editor, a forum editor, a propagandist. Songwriting is probably closest to erotica writing with observations of people and places and devising storylines. Songwriting is necessarily concise; prose has much more room for sloppiness.

 

[NaokoSmith]

I learned that I am lots better at many other things in life than I had realised - also not nearly as good at writing stories as I had thought

I thought I could use my erotic writing to sublimate my wish for intimacy, and keep my relationship together but I was wrong about that, LOL. I found out a lot about myself - most of all that I deserve to be with someone who is up to it

Coming on the Authors' Hangout I got so much support, made so many friends. People gave me a reality check and said what I was dealing with was unfair, then I had the courage to go out and do something about it.


Oh, there were the trolls too <snicker>. I learnt a lot about how to deal with underhand mean people from coming on here and being trolled. I took it pretty lightly on here - FFS, it's just online on an erotica writers' board! big deal. I wasn't so bothered about feeling hurt when someone said I was a slag or told me to F*ck Off, I was more interested in the trolls' motivations. I could see who was bored, who felt threatened. Then I was able to see when it happened to me in RL too. I took out a grievance at work and got my job sorted out.


Thanks Trolls!

And most of all, thank you to all my friends on here who were kind to me, who took five minutes - sometimes a lot longer - out of their day to post a cup of tea, read my blurts, write and say nice things that made me feel better.

 

[TxRad]

I have a very dirty mind.

 

[DreamCloud]

Lit has taught me to write. I found out I enjoy it. Very therapeutic.

 

[SecondCircle]

That I could actually pull it of. (Er, no pun.)

I've written stories for a long time, all kinds of things. Just a hobby really, and still is. Never considered if I could write something erotic, and it actually be worth a damn. I learned that through these characters I mold from my own hands, I can inject as much of my own sexuality as I want and share that intimate side with others.

I've also learned about vulnerability. That is, as a plot device in stories. Using those moments where our walls and security crumble to show what we really feel, what really gets us hot, and what scares us. That for me is the path to immersion. The way to a reader's heart.

 

[SamScribble]

The main thing that I have learned is that I should never take any notice of a commenter named Anonymous.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Lit has taught me to write. I found out I enjoy it. Very therapeutic.

Dont give up the day job, I looked at one of your stories and found this jewel in the first paragraph: It was a dreary gray, but for me, it felt like a bright blue.

Uh, that aint a feeling. Feelings are MAD, SAD, GLAD, AFRAID, SLEEPY, HUNGRY, HORNY etc.

You get high scores because your readers are illiterates.

 

[MichaelinChina]

That I just could not put two erotic ideas together and make them exciting.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I use LIT to test ideas and hunches. In real life I use real people to test ideas and hunches, too.

What I learned from both groups is: People will suffer anything but honesty. Don't matter whether the honesty is packaged with love or contempt, doesn't matter if the honesty is flattering or hostile, people hate honesty.

People like courtesy. At the store I usually let others ahead of me in the check out line if their order is small or they have kids. If a clerk is stocking a shelf I don't run him over with my cart when I can step around or reach around for what I want.

People like to be special. That is, if youre studying the bakery discount cart women try to squeeze tween you and the cart or you and the hamburger or whatever. I let them unless the item we want is it. Gals get pissed when you beat them to the 1/2 price chocolate cake. I don't relish fights over the last pork chop on the platter unless my fork is in it first. But if you cut the line ahead of the rest of us I wont start a fight.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

Pay no attention to the man with the gun.

Dont give up the day job, I looked at one of your stories and found this jewel in the first paragraph: It was a dreary gray, but for me, it felt like a bright blue.

Uh, that aint a feeling. Feelings are MAD, SAD, GLAD, AFRAID, SLEEPY, HUNGRY, HORNY etc.

You get high scores because your readers are illiterates.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Pay no attention to the man with the gun.

Its correct to write IT FELT LIKE FIRE or IT FELT LIKE A WITCH'S TIT but nuthin feels like bright blue.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

Wrong. Pretty common for people to associate colors with feeling, i.e. "I saw red" for anger. Synesethia, look it up.

Dreamcloud can kick your hillbilly ass.

Its correct to write IT FELT LIKE FIRE or IT FELT LIKE A WITCH'S TIT but nuthin feels like bright blue.

 

[Hypoxia]

>> This message is hidden because NOIRTRASH is on your ignore list.

Whatever.

Anyway, what else have I learnt?

* My ideas outpace my ability to record and realize them. (That's nothing new.)
* I can't keyboard and practice zither simultaneously. Not well, anyway.
* Many objects seem erotic when one stops to think about them.
* Texture is vital. Without texture, everything is flat, me too.
* Hot mocha laced with tequila stimulates imagination.
* I am not at all whom I once thought I was.
* Digital spellcheckers have their limits.
* My 8th-grade typing class changed my life.
* A digital thesaurus beats paper ones hands-down.
* I *can* keyboard and practice tremolo harmonica simultaneously.
* I used to care about Red-H's and nice comments. Now I don't give a shit.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Wrong. Pretty common for people to associate colors with feeling, i.e. "I saw red" for anger. Synesethia, look it up.

Dreamcloud can kick your hillbilly ass.

Read some good writing, say Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak, and you wont find incongruent observations such as you relish. As Twain warns: Theres a world of difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

Do the work and use the right words, Cupcake.

 

[lovecraft68]

Once I started unleashing the muse and putting things down I realized...

I am far more twisted than even I thought I was. Writing is like opening a valve and releasing the pressurized contents within you.

On fun stuff, its whatever. On my dark works that valve lets out some toxic content and is not always easy to close back up.

 

[PayDay]

Other than nothing: I learned that I hate writing as much as I thought I did when I was in high school, which is a lot.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

Yet another delusional who thinks this is the Iowa Writers Workshop.

it's lit. The writing can be total shite, but if the erotic part's good, it's good erotica.

That's the fun part. If you want to become William Faulkner, what u doing here?

Read some good writing, say Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak, and you wont find incongruent observations such as you relish. As Twain warns: Theres a world of difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

Do the work and use the right words, Cupcake.

 

[ElectricBlue]

OK, enlighten me (I'm not a Yank, so don't know your institutions - other than Lit, sigh) - what is it about the Iowa Writer's Workshop that you guys beat up on so much?

I had a comment on one of my yarns where I was accused of belonging to the IWW. The comment sort of back-fired on the commentator though, because he mentioned two literary theorists I had never heard of... who's the literary wanker now, sunshine? Lol

But what's the deal with those poor bastards from Iowa?

Umm, be nice, anyone who replies, don't want to start a riot or anything.

Yet another delusional who thinks this is the Iowa Writers Workshop.

it's lit. The writing can be total shite, but if the erotic part's good, it's good erotica.

That's the fun part. If you want to become William Faulkner, what u doing here?

 

[sr71plt]

OK, enlighten me (I'm not a Yank, so don't know your institutions - other than Lit, sigh) - what is it about the Iowa Writer's Workshop that you guys beat up on so much?

I had a comment on one of my yarns where I was accused of belonging to the IWW. The comment sort of back-fired on the commentator though, because he mentioned two literary theorists I had never heard of... who's the literary wanker now, sunshine? Lol

But what's the deal with those poor bastards from Iowa?

Umm, be nice, anyone who replies, don't want to start a riot or anything.

My guess is that you were being criticized for being high brow(?), as the Iowa Writers Workshop is considered by many to be the premier creative writing program in the States.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Yet another delusional who thinks this is the Iowa Writers Workshop.

it's lit. The writing can be total shite, but if the erotic part's good, it's good erotica.

That's the fun part. If you want to become William Faulkner, what u doing here?

Shit shops attract crap writers. Its okay with me if DREAMCLOUD wants to run with t-ball writers, t-ball attracts plenty of fans. The BRUDGE OUT AHEAD sign stops no one from flying to the bridge, Cupcake.

 

[DirtyAllie]

Yet another delusional who thinks this is the Iowa Writers Workshop.

it's lit. The writing can be total shite, but if the erotic part's good, it's good erotica.

That's the fun part. If you want to become William Faulkner, what u doing here?

Most come here to get off, if it does that its success

 

[someoneyouknow]

My imagination and the imagery therein far exceeds my ability to convey them to others.

 

[masterandmargarita]

I never had even the slightest interest in BDSM. Then came my second ever erotic story and I've got a pile of bodies and unsure of what to do with them. Having a character boss people around and tell them what to do turns sex scenes into fun games and makes them much easier to write. So, I learned that BDSM is whatever you want it to be and it is an incredibly useful tool (or crutch, depending on how you look at it) for organizing group sex.

 

[lovecraft68]

I never had even the slightest interest in BDSM. Then came my second ever erotic story and I've got a pile of bodies and unsure of what to do with them. Having a character boss people around and tell them what to do turns sex scenes into fun games and makes them much easier to write. So, I learned that BDSM is whatever you want it to be and it is an incredibly useful tool (or crutch, depending on how you look at it) for organizing group sex.

Good point. Having people who 'have to' listen to someone takes away the struggle to come up with their being conflicted and why they ultimately cut loose, etc.