What did I do wrong?

[cahab]

I know this is technically the wrong forum for this, but I wonder if I could prevail upon you guys to tell me what's wrong with my latest story.

I submitted it a few days ago and it has had 52 votes averaging 3.98. My lowest story so far has been 4.19, which IMO was a far worse story than this one, both technically and erotically. So I'm confused. At first I thought someone had just 1'd me at the start, but it never seemed to recover very much.

Has this kind of thing happened to you? Am I just worrying about nothing?

More information at thread on story feedback forum here.

Direct story link here.

 

[KillerMuffin]

The only thing I noticed

You have her drinking pee in Group Sex. Most people really don't like or pretend that they don't like that particular fetish and they're probably pissed off at you because they were cruising along, liking the story and feeling good, then wham, instant revulsion.

It would be like finding brussel sprouts beneath chocolate ice cream.

I would suggest that you either have Laurel move the story to Fetish, make a big note that there is watersport in the story, or just remove the pee scene.

 

[gauchecritic]

I didn't see anyone in the story I 'knew'. All the cocks were anonymous the other 'fluffers' were anonymous and the cast and crew were too.

However much the main character liked cum and cock I never found any reason for her to.

I found the sex mechanical from all concerned parties.

As I read I could see what was happening and it had a physical effect but when I got to the climax there was none.

Hope that wasn't too harsh.

Gauche

Edited to include; I just had a look through your other stories and none of them contained anything like the comments above. Maybe this is a story you don't realy want to write?

 

[MathGirl]

Quality be damned!

You have her drinking pee in Group Sex.

That may be the main reason for the unexpectedly low scores. Readers vote wiwi engorgement, not literary merit.

I have a regular reader, voter, and feedbacker who hates anal sex. If I write something in which that's included, he always sends a note of apology explaining he had to give it a 2 because of the anal sex. Otherwise, he always votes fives. Has nothing to do with whether the story is good and well written.

I learned long ago that reader voting has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the story.
MG

 

[Guest]

Cahab: I've read all your stories, and you have an idea what I think, so I'll just say I agree w/Guache's comments above. I actually enjoyed the story, basically due to your style, but there was something off about it too, basically due to my expectations of you.

You'll find all the bad and the beautiful possible on Lit. - I find urine imbibing repulsive but it wouldn't keep me from giving a high score on a well written piece. Still, I think MG's right. Which is why, according to my reading of posts, I seem to be one of the few people on Lit. who pays no attention to scores. I like my feedback of course; they have a personal touch, but votes? Meaningless to me.

Just keep writing.

Perdita

V. Minelli

 

[cahab]

Thanks

Thanks, everyone. See the link to story feedback in my original post for what i decided to do.

 

[fiery_jack]

I submitted it a few days ago and it has had 52 votes averaging 3.98. My lowest story so far has been 4.19, which IMO was a far worse story than this one, both technically and erotically.

I, for one, would be more than happy with 52 votes and a 3.98 score, considering mine range from between the 2.30 - 4.20 area.

The talented writers on this site can tell you where you went wrong, i'm here to remind you that things could be worse...

 

[MathGirl]

V. Minelli

Judy Harriet Garland

 

[Guest]

Judy Harriet Garland

Uh, Ethel Gumm.

 

[gauchecritic]

Eeerm. Liza? with a zee?

Gauche

 

[Guest]

Eeerm. Liza? with a zee?

The progeny.

Purr