What constitutes rape?

[VirgoDyke]

Okay, so is it cool to fuck someone when they are fall down, passed out drunk?

Situation: I come home from work and my roommate/best friend/fuck buddy is drunk as hell. Like pint of tequila on her own drunk. Her other fuck buddy is over here and it's cool because my friend told me that she was on her period and nobody was getting any. So we're outside smoking and my friend goes to stand up and falls over. She proceeds to get up and go inside and gets in her bed. I finish smoking and go check on her. She's like 2 seconds from passing out, like seriously. So I lay there with her for a minute until her breathing settles into a sleep rhythm. Then her fuck buddy comes in so I get up, tell said fuck buddy that she is passed out and leave. 15 minutes later, I hear my friend being fucked.

My question is who in their right mind would take advantage of a person in my friend's state? And does that constitute rape because my friend was too drunk to really give consent? Also, what does that make me for not going in to stop it? Trust me, I wanted to. And if this other person didn't out weigh me by twice my weight, I probably would. I'm so pissed off right now. Please someone respond and tell me I'm not wrong in thinking the way I am.

 

[Stella_Omega]

That is indeed rape. Depending on where you guys live, it might be on the books. Talk to your friend tomorrow.

I know what it's like to not be physically strong or big enough to do something that everything in you is telling you you have to do. I don't have an answer for that.

 

[DormantEvil]

Yep, Rape. Good guide is to always get consent before the act.

The fact that she stated that nobody would be getting lucky indicates that she had no plan of having sex, with anyone that night. Hence it is decent to assume it was rape.

Ask her if she remembers giving him the okay, if not you might have to explain why you didn't step in.

To be honest, you don't know she didn't wake up horny as hell and consent. You'll have to find out from her first.

She might have also given him the okay to do that if she passed out, so it might be a long standing consent thing...but I've only known a few people to have given someone that much power.

 

[samanthaswitch]

Okay, so is it cool to fuck someone when they are fall down, passed out drunk?

Situation: I come home from work and my roommate/best friend/fuck buddy is drunk as hell. Like pint of tequila on her own drunk. Her other fuck buddy is over here and it's cool because my friend told me that she was on her period and nobody was getting any. So we're outside smoking and my friend goes to stand up and falls over. She proceeds to get up and go inside and gets in her bed. I finish smoking and go check on her. She's like 2 seconds from passing out, like seriously. So I lay there with her for a minute until her breathing settles into a sleep rhythm. Then her fuck buddy comes in so I get up, tell said fuck buddy that she is passed out and leave. 15 minutes later, I hear my friend being fucked.

My question is who in their right mind would take advantage of a person in my friend's state? And does that constitute rape because my friend was too drunk to really give consent? Also, what does that make me for not going in to stop it? Trust me, I wanted to. And if this other person didn't out weigh me by twice my weight, I probably would. I'm so pissed off right now. Please someone respond and tell me I'm not wrong in thinking the way I am.

In general its rape if a person does not give consent. In most states some people are incapable of giving consent generally including people who are intoxicated, mentally handicapped or in any other altered mental state. So yes in most jurisdictions it'd be rape (there may be exceptions I'm not a lawyer) even if she mumbled out a yes.

 

[VirgoDyke]

Yep, Rape. Good guide is to always get consent before the act.

The fact that she stated that nobody would be getting lucky indicates that she had no plan of having sex, with anyone that night. Hence it is decent to assume it was rape.

Ask her if she remembers giving him the okay, if not you might have to explain why you didn't step in.

To be honest, you don't know she didn't wake up horny as hell and consent. You'll have to find out from her first.

She might have also given him the okay to do that if she passed out, so it might be a long standing consent thing...but I've only known a few people to have given someone that much power.

I'm pretty sure she would never give anyone consent to fuck her if she passed out. I am going to talk to her today. I do know that she's extremely sexual and even if she's passed out and someone initiates sex, she will be fucking them before she's even really aware of what's going on. What pisses me off most about the whole thing is that this other chic would even think of putting the moves on someone who was obviously oblivious to what was going on. It's just not right.
When I went in to check on her after she fell outside, she couldn't even talk. She was just mumbling. The only word I made out was "Stay". In hindsight I wish I would have. There have been times when we were already in the act of having sex and she started looking like she might pass out, so I stopped even though I wanted more. It's called respect and trust. Obvious this other girl lacks those.

 

[PricelessT]

As others have stated, it's rape. As for stopping it... While you may not have been able to physically win against this guy, just telling him to stop maybe could have stopped it. And a physical altercation definitely would have stopped it; you could have tried to call the police or make it outside to signal someone else to while you were trying to physically stop the guy. But I don't want to put any blame on you. It's not your fault, and your hesitant reaction was/is understandable.

EDITED TO ADD: I see that the "the guy" is actually female. In a lot of places, it's difficult to prosecute female-on-female rape because of countries/jurisdictions usually having a penile-vaginal or penile-anal definition of rape. But there's no contesting that this was rape.

 

[rbone04]

I'm pretty sure she would never give anyone consent to fuck her if she passed out. I am going to talk to her today. I do know that she's extremely sexual and even if she's passed out and someone initiates sex, she will be fucking them before she's even really aware of what's going on. What pisses me off most about the whole thing is that this other chic would even think of putting the moves on someone who was obviously oblivious to what was going on. It's just not right.
When I went in to check on her after she fell outside, she couldn't even talk. She was just mumbling. The only word I made out was "Stay". In hindsight I wish I would have. There have been times when we were already in the act of having sex and she started looking like she might pass out, so I stopped even though I wanted more. It's called respect and trust. Obvious this other girl lacks those.

There's a lot of mixed views on exactly what this situation should be filed under in terms of consent... Maybe some of us (like myself) are still a bit confused about the dynamics of all the involved parties' relationships here. Of course there is obvious concern considering the fact that you are asking advice, so I think the best possible action you can take is to ask this person whether or not they are ok with what you think happened.

 

[C2W]

hey

Not only did the person who did the penetrating guilty of sexual battery--, but you are guilty of being a coward and deserve an ass whupping yourself.