What can I do?

[sedo]

When I am having sex or am masturbating. I find myself focusing on something else as I get closer to coming, I eventually stop the urge to cum, but I then lose my erection. What can I do to prevent this? Anything is much appreciated.

Thank you in advance

 

[A_Kefka]

I believe this is part of why people turn to porn and stories and such things to keep them excited and focused on sexual pleaasure. well, part of why. If whatever fantasies you are playing out in your head aren't doing it you could try this (you are on a fairly large erotic story site). If you already are, then I don't know.

 

[SweetErika]

When I am having sex or am masturbating. I find myself focusing on something else as I get closer to coming, I eventually stop the urge to cum, but I then lose my erection. What can I do to prevent this? Anything is much appreciated.

Thank you in advance

Do you mean you lose focus unintentionally, or that you purposely force yourself to think of something else to stop yourself from coming?

If you're distracting yourself on purpose, you could try just dialing back your thoughts to something still sexy but not so arousing that it'll push you over the edge. You might also work on different breathing patterns and decreasing the physical stimulation, so it's just enough to keep your erection, but not so much that it makes you come.

Play around with different strokes/touches, speed, angles, erogenous zones and kegel exercises (google 'male kegel exercises' for more info) during masturbation to see what works for you. During sex, you can change the pace, position, type of stroke (e.g. swivel your hips instead of thrusting) take a short break while you continue to stimulate your partner and also use kegel exercises/flexing your PC muscle to your advantage to stop ejaculation (once you strengthen it sufficiently and figure out how to time it). Tantra has a lot of great techniques for extending sex and achieving multiple orgasms, so you might consider giving some of those a try, too.

Like anything else, this usually takes a good amount of practice and it's a matter of figuring out what, specifically, works for you as an individual. There's no magic bullet, quick fix or perfect combination that works for everyone. Make sure you don't focus on increasing so much that it interferes with your partner's pleasure or your own, however (some guys work on holding off so much that they actually have trouble achieving orgasm or don't really enjoy it when they finally do because they're not relaxed, someone's tired/sore, they're distracted, etc.).

 

[ms_sub_liminal]

another good option would be to create a song playlist. pick or edit short songs. when the song changes, change your pace or position. you could try matching the rhythm or drum beat. it's a nicer alternative to porn, especially depending on your living arrangements.

 

[iswallowloads]

another good option would be to create a song playlist. pick or edit short songs. when the song changes, change your pace or position. you could try matching the rhythm or drum beat. it's a nicer alternative to porn, especially depending on your living arrangements.

Great idea! Wish I would of thought of that when I had a roommate.